Finding Myself

Blast of Iman

2011-11-05T22:21:00.004+08:00

I feel like I am at a crossroad, among one of the crossroads of my life. A decision has to be made. A very eminent one. One that will affect most importantly my Iman and after that, the lives of those I love most. It will definitely affect my life, but I think I can bear with that. I might have to suffer for awhile to adjust to the changes I will go through but to think of the misery that I will bring to the people I love... THAT I don't think I can endure.

But... to be stuck HERE is not an option.

Have you ever felt lost like you can't be saved any more? Despair is a very very very cruel emotion. It can make you feel like you are stuck in the deepest of the deepest ocean. No one will want to save you because trying will only mean risking their life. You feel like giving up, to give out your last breath and surrender to the darkness of the sea and ultimately the blackness of death.

Ever so suddenly a rush of air was blasted into your lungs. You will gulp that precious whirl of air greedily, ferociously, savagely... because your very life depends on it.

What if it was your Faith that is in that deep dark sea of sins and ignorance? And that blast of air was a blast of Hidayah to your soul that will increase your Iman and save you from the blackness of hell fire?

I think it is time I force myself to take that gulp. It feels like this will be my last chance to rise up to the surface and beyond... and even if it isn't my last, I don't think I want to risk putting my Faith on the edge again...

Bismillahi tawakkaltu a'lallah!

I am strong only because Allah put me right here, right now. He knows I am strong enough for whatever He puts me through.

The power of repentance

2011-11-04T23:09:00.000+08:00

Subhanallah!

Chasing stars

2011-10-29T12:31:00.001+08:00

Building myself up!

Alhamdulillah.

^_^

It feels like Deja Vu

2011-07-23T18:38:00.005+08:00

Sometimes I just wish I could turn back time and erase every mistake I did, every hurtful word I have said, every bad choice I have made.

I keep telling myself that I am strong.

But everyone wants to feel like someone cares.

And everyone wants to know they're not alone.

Imam As-Syafie, may Allah bless your soul.

2011-04-10T19:24:00.004+08:00

If a man spreads his secret with his own tongue
and blames another... then he is a fool.
If his own breast is too narrow to conceal his own secret,
Then the breast of the one in whom he places it is even narrower.

Part from the days where you used to do as you wish
And restrain your soul when the decree of Allah is ordained
And don't despair over the events of the past
For none of the events of the dunya were ever meant to remain
And be a man who is firm upon his affairs
And whose character is that of pardoning and nobility
And there is no sadness or happiness that is continuous
Just as there is there is no comfort or pain
If you are a person who is satisfied with what he has
Then you and the owner of all possessions are equal
And upon he who's open valley death descends upon
Then there is no earth or sky to protect you from it
And the earth of Allah is vast but
When the ordainment of Allah descends even the open valley congests.

~ Imam Shafi

Just so that I won't forget.

2011-04-10T19:19:00.002+08:00

O Allah, O Karim,
Please have mercy on me,

O Allah, O Karim,
Please forgive me for the sins I committed in the past
And those I will commit in the future.

O Allah,
Have mercy on all the Muslimeen,
And guide them.
Guide me O Allah,
And guide my parents,
My siblings, my cousins,
My aunts and uncles,
My nephews and nieces and so forth.

O Allah,
I ask You to strengthen my iman and those around me.
I ask You to soften my heart
And to soften the hearts of the believers.

O Allah,
Forgive me for my shortcomings, for only You are perfect.

O Allah,
Please forgive me if I ever got too wrapped in a matter
That I didn’t have time to utter Your name.

O Allah,
Please forgive me for all the salat I missed
Because of ignorance or laziness,
Please forgive me for all the fasts I didn’t make up,
Thinking it was “alright, since I fasted most of the days anyway”.

O Allah,
Please forgive me
For the pound I never dropped into the metal cup for the homeless man begging on the street.

O Allah,
Please spark the love of Islam in my heart and in the hearts of every single Muslim
Until it gets implanted in their children and their children’s children and so on.

O Allah,
I ask that You help me for I am weak
And will only grow stronger by Your strength,
So Allah please strengthen me
To fight Shaytaan and his whispers.
And if I ever fell into his trap
And followed my desirer,
Then sincerely forgive me,
For that displays not only my weakness,
But Your greatness as well.

O Allah,
Please lighten the punishment in the grave
For those before us and those after us.
Please Allah, lighten the punishment
And please shed light into every Muslim’s grave.

O Allah,
If I ever was too afraid
To stand up for Your deen
Because of what others would think
Then forgive me, for I was a fool for doing so.

O Allah,
Please protect me and each Muslim,
And protect especially the orphans and the widows.

O Allah,
Please strengthen the faith
Of the destitute Muslims around the world,
So they have hope to live.

O Allah,
If I ever forgot to do dua for even one suffering Muslim,
Then forgive me for then it is, as I haven’t done dua for the entire ummah.

O Allah,
Please be the light of my eyes, ears and heart.

O Allah,
Please be the light on the sides of me
And the light behind me
And the light in front of me.

O Allah,
Please forgive me
For all the foul words I spoke
Either out of ignorance or
Because I was trying to be “cool”.

O Allah,
Please forgive me
If I never stopped to think about You,
Due to “other important things”

O Allah,
Please forgive me
For not having enough time
Or creating time for reading the Quran.

O Allah,
Please forgive me
For listening to music
And watching movies and t.v.

O Allah,
Please forgive me
For all the yelling I’ve done
And the arguments I’ve been in.
For the only time
The voice should be raised
Is for Your praises!

O Allah,
Please forgive me
For my disrespect towards my family,
Elders, siblings and so on.

O Allah,
Please forgive me for any backbiting I have been accused of,
Whether I did it consciously or unconsciously.

O Allah, Rab al-Alamin,
Forgive me,
Forgive me for everything.
So for everyone,
Every single Muslim,
Dead or alive,
I do dua that You forgive them for all their sins.

O Allah,
Please please please
Help the suffering Muslims
of Kashmir, Palestine, Chechnya,
Bosnia, Gujarat, Nigeria,
Iraq, Afghanistan and everywhere around the world.
Please O Allah, make the Mujahideen victorious,
And let the beauty of Islam reign!

O Allah, give victory to the Muslims!
O Allah, please let true Islam reign!
O Allah, please increase our knowledge of Your deen and this world.

O Allah,
Please help us all and guide us,
For You are everything to us.

O Allah,
I cannot stress how much I ask for Your forgiveness and Your guidance.

O Allah,
I fear You
I fear You soooo much words cannot describe.
I fear the day when I will meet You,
And I WILL meet You.
When we are one on one,
And I have no one’s help or support.
No one can take the blame for me
Nor I for them.
The only thing I will have
Is a little book given to me by You
That has my deeds.

O Allah,
Please forgive me for my thoughts,
For even though I get sinned for my actions,
I cannot help but feel guilty for my thought
And I ask You to forgive me for them
And to clear my mind of any impurities
Until You become the only thing on my mind.

O Allah,
Please forgive me
If I ever did anything out of gain
For this life and not for Your pleasure.
If I did anything to “show off”
Then please forgive me for that.

O Allah,
I do dua that You grant us all God-fearing spouses
And grant us righteous children.

O Allah,
I do dua that You continue to strengthen this ummah until the Day of Resurrection.

O Allah,
Forgive me for whatever I have not mentioned,
For I am bound to forget
…but You,
through Your greatness…
You never forget.

O Allah,
Please grant all the Muslims Jannah-tul-Firdaus.

O Allah,
I ask that You shed Your mercy
On all the Prophets (peace be upon them)
And on all the Angels (peace be upon them).
Lastly, I do dua
You shed Your mercy
On the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him),
His family and companions.
I do dua that You grant Muhammad
The highest station in paradise.

Rabinna Aataina
Fiduniya Hasinathow
Wa Fil Akhirati Hasinathow,
Wakina Adhab innar

Ameen

A new world, the first step.

2011-01-24T06:13:00.002+08:00

And all hours long, the town

Roars like a beast in a cave

That is wounded there

And like to drown;

While days rush, wave after wave

On its lair.

An invisible woe unseals

The flood, so it passes beyond

All bounds: the great old city

Recumbent roars as it feels

The foamy paw of the pond

Reach from immensity.

But all that it can do

Now, as the tide rises,

Is to listen and hear the grim

Waves crash like thunder through

The splintered streets, hear noises

Roll hollow in the interim.

I need You by my side. Please God. Bismillah.

Pursuit of happyyyyness

2011-01-09T22:54:00.000+08:00

It is easier to whine and blame everyone else for your woes. But where does it get you?

This is my life and I CHOOSE to be happy.

Change starts NOW!

Sending happy vibes and looooove to all~

Bismillah.

Bahasa Jiwa Bangsa

2011-01-04T13:35:00.009+08:00

I am first and foremost a Muslim! Who was born a Malay and who is proud of her Malaysian Malay heritage and language but prefers to talk and write in English if she can.

No, I am not trying to be someone I'm not nor am I degrading the dignity of my culture. For me, it is merely an extension of my personality nor does it have anything to do with the pride of my people.

If you were to tell me that the Malay language would be banished as the current official language of Malaysia and that it would not be compulsory for the younger generation to know the language to be called a Malaysian citizen - believe me, I would instantly go on a riot, bring the news to the parliament and totally make a big deal out it!

However, we have to understand that being proud of your language has nothing to do with how frequent you use it but it has everything to do with how well you know it. To stereotypically judge someone as being unpatriotic just because he/she chooses to speak in English is abominable.

Sadly, on the other end of the spectrum, there are people who look down upon those who choose to write and speak in Malay. It seems that there is a popular notion that having the ability to speak and write well in English seems to be a cool trend to follow and those who go against the flow will always be viewed as freaks of nature - which I personally think is uncalled for and absolutely stupid!

To put it simply, there is nothing wrong in writing and speaking English if you were born a Malay (or Chinese and Indian for that matter) nor is there anything shameful about impressively writing and speaking in Malay either. The point is to know and be proud of your heritage but at the same time to be comfortable standing in your own shoes and shining your own personality.

I can perfectly write in Malay, when I feel like it! ^_^

Oh and evidently, I would also love to master the Arabic language in the future, insyaAllah!

*cheerios*

Crisp and clean

2011-01-02T13:30:00.003+08:00

The start of a new year always leave me with a feeling of positive anticipation. It's like stepping into a new world where every possibility is there for us to achieve if only we believe and try hard enough.

Unfotunately (or fortunately?), 24 years on this earth has thought me at least one very important thing, you never know what you'll get. You plan and you dream and you work and you hope but most of the time you'll be very much surprised by the turn of events.

The disappointments, the failures, the hopelessness, the wanting-to-give-up, the why-does-everything-seems-to-go-wrong, the whatever and what the heck? Hehe.

But so it seems, that the human spirit never ceased to amaze me. You somehow WILL find the strength and the courage to stand up and move on. Because frankly speaking, that's what life really is about don't you think? Moving forward.

And where is our destination? To God. Always to Him. Moving forward to Our Creator. Because in every thing that we do, for every second that we spend on any endeavor, if it doesn't bring us closer to Him, is there any happiness left to hope for?

Here's to a brand new year, with a brand new hope and a renewed sense of faith.

Bring it on 2011!

Sweeping off the cobwebs!

2011-01-01T22:57:00.002+08:00

Trying to bring back the writing mood.

It's been awhile...

Win Win

2010-11-13T12:59:00.002+08:00

Sesungguhnya Allah telah ridha terhadap orang-orang mukmin ketika mereka berjanji setia kepadamu di bawah pohon, maka Allah mengetahui apa yang ada dalam hati mereka lalu menurunkan ketenangan atas mereka dan memberi balasan kepada mereka dengan kemenangan yang dekat (waktunya).

[Al-fath - 46:18]

Kemenangan yang dekat waktunya. Bertahan hati, sebentar sahaja lagi.

Help is coming, insyaAllah!

I miss you..

2010-11-06T20:05:00.003+08:00

Aku rindu amat! T_T

Demi cintaMu ya Allah

Pada Muhammad nabiMu

Ampunilah dosaku

Wujudkan harapanku

Ya Rasullallah

Siapa yang cinta pada nabinya

Pasti bahagia dalam hidupnya

Muhammadku Muhammadku dengarlah seruanku

Aku rindu aku rindu kepadamu Muhammadku

Kau yang mengaku cinta kepada nabimu

Kau yang mengaku merindukan nabimu

Jika kau benar-benar cinta dan rindu

Kepada Muhammad nabimu

Buktikan

Taati perintahNya, tinggalkan laranganNya

Teladani akhlaknya

Niscaya kelak kau akan berjumpa dengan Rasullallah

Niscaya kelak kau akan berkumpul dengan Rasullallah

Kau ajarkan hidup ini untuk saling mengasihi

Ku tanamkan dalam hati kuamalkan sejak dini

Engkaulah nabi pembawa cinta

Maher Zain: A da'ei in his own way!

2010-10-26T17:25:00.005+08:00

The first time I heard Maher Zain's 'Insha Allah' almost a year ago, I had tears in my eyes and a swell on my chest. He depicted my feelings and my experiences so well I almost thought he was reading my mind. He started out small (with his first single, can't remember whether it was 'Insha Allah' or "Palestine Will Be Free') in October 2009 but now has turned out to be huge a star through out the whole world, among Muslims and Non-Muslims alike. Alhamdulillah, I believe that Allah has sent him to us in our time as one of His medium of Hidayah (Guidance) to all. Through his songs, many has viewed Islam differently, better inyaAllah.

Here's a short biography of Maher Zain. May Allah repay him with Jannah for his hard work in spreading Islam the best way he can. Let us take example of his good character and learn from his experience, so that we can believe with utmost confidence that as long as there is still life in us, WE CAN CHANGE FOR THE BETTER!! InsyaAllah.

Leaving behind a lucrative career in the mainstream music industry in New York wherein he worked with internationally renowned producer RedOne who has worked with chart-topping artists Akon, Lady Gaga, Enrique Iglesias and the late Michael Jackson to mention just a few, Maher chose instead to make music which reflects his roots of being both European, Arab and Muslim and he is working with Awakening Records (who launched the career of British artist Sami Yusuf) to inspire the youth across the world.

In early March 2010, Maher's debut album Thank You Allah (released by Awakening Records) was the No.1 highest selling album on Amazon (in the world music section). Maher has already had concerts in Sweden, Canada, Australia, US, UK, France, Egypt, Algeria, and Bahrain to mention just a few. With his passion, incredible talent and unique style, the sky is the limit for Maher.

Maher’s first musical inspiration came from his father, who was a singer himself, performing locally in the beautiful Mediterranean city of Tripoli - Lebanon. Fascinated by the music and instruments, Maher got his first keyboard when he was only ten and ever since music officially became an integral part of Maher’s world. His family moved to Sweden when Maher was only 8, where he continued his schooling, and later entered university and got a Bachelors degree in Aeronautical Engineering. With things changing around him, one thing remained the same - his strong passion for music. He would spend late nights at school with his friends where they would sing, rap, compose and experiment with music in every way. It didn’t take him long to realize that music became an integral part of who he is.

After being involved for a while in the music scene as a music producer, Maher was introduced to RedOne, a gifted music producer who was fast rising in the music scene in Sweden. Maher started working with RedOne and later moved to New York. For a few years he was in the middle of the hot rush of the NY music industry, working with chart topping artists such as Kat Deluna on her debut album including smash hits ‘Whine up’ and ‘Run the Show’.

Maher had what many would describe as a dream job for someone so young in such a glamorous business, but for Maher it felt like this was far from what he would call ‘the dream’, “I loved the music but I hated everything that surrounded it, it always felt like something wasn’t right”.

In January 2009, Maher Zain decided to work on an album that reflects his identity – Arab, Western and Muslim - and signed with Awakening Records. Maher’s debut album Thank You Allah reached the number 1 spot on Amazon’s World Music charts and number 9 on the R&B charts. In January 2010, in a music competition organized by Nujoom FM (Egypt’s biggest music radio station) Maher’s track ‘Ya Nabi Salam Alayka’ was voted as the Best Song for 2009. Runners up included big names like Hussein Aljismi, Mohammed Mounir and Sami Yusuf. Maher has already performed at sold out concerts in Algeria, Australia, Belgium, Canada, Egypt, England, France, Holland, Sweden, and the US amongst others and is fast becoming the ‘next superstar of Islamic music’.

Maher Zain’s album mixes the sounds of R&B with traditional spiritual, soul and contemporary pop music, not just updating spiritual music and inshad but fearlessly reviving it with contemporary flair. Maher’s debut album Thank You Allah is an instant classic of great power and timeless, unassailably intense spirituality. Maher is fast becoming recognized as one of modern Islamic Music’s seminal voices after his ground-breaking single and animated music video “Palestine Will Be Free,” his music video “Insha Allah” shot on location in London and directed by famous British director Mike Harris who has worked with Coldplay and Madonna among others, and his latest video “The Chosen One” - about the life and the peaceful teachings of Prophet Muhammad - shot in Los Angeles. Maher Zain is clearly poised to take up modern Islamic Music to a new level.

As a supremely gifted artist and producer, Maher brings his music to a wider audience not by watering down his message, but by making songs of supreme power, conviction, and glorious beauty, fusing elements of R&B, traditional spiritual music, pop, Arabic and Turkish music into daring arrangements.

After his experience in the Music Industry, Maher feels blessed to able to finally find the right way, put his talent to its best use, and produce music that is closer to his roots, and he feels like it’s his turn now to help others through his music to do the same: “If I had one thing I’d like to tell people out there it would be that it’s so easy to see the right way if we just open our eyes and look properly; that’s what happened to me.”

All alone

2010-10-19T21:23:00.005+08:00

Sometimes, it is so hard to persevere when you feel that you have no one to turn to or support you. But.. we have Allah by our side! Never ever forget that.

Every time you feel like you cannot go on

You feel so lost

And that you're so alone

All you is see is night

And darkness all around

You feel so helpless

You can’t see which way to go

Don’t despair and never loose hope

Cause Allah is always by your side

Insya Allah you’ll find your way

Everytime you can make one more mistake

You feel you can’t repent

And that its way too late

Your’re so confused, wrong decisions you have made

Haunt your mind and your heart is full of shame

Don’t despair and never loose hope

Cause Allah is always by your side

Turn to Allah

He’s never far away

Put your trust in Him

Raise your hands and pray

Ya Allah

Guide my steps don’t let me go astray

You’re the only one that showed me the way

A candle in the dark.

2010-10-17T01:37:00.007+08:00

Left and right people are going against the Word of the Almighty, cheering the council of the Devil's herd.

And we are stuck in the midst of chaos and confusion. A spark of truth in our hearts remain, but not strong enough to light the gloom in our soul.

Yet we strongly adhere to what we hold on to dear, that it is not the dark that has befell but only an eclipse waiting to fly.

Because we choose to light a candle, rather than curse the darkness.

[18:29] Proclaim: "This is the truth from your Lord," then whoever wills let him believe, and whoever wills let him disbelieve. We have prepared for the transgressors a fire that will completely surround them. When they scream for help, they will be given a liquid like concentrated acid that scalds the faces. What a miserable drink! What a miserable destiny!

[18:30] As for those who believe and lead a righteous life, we never fail to recompense those who work righteousness.

[18:31] They have deserved gardens of Eden wherein rivers flow. They will be adorned therein with bracelets of gold, and will wear clothes of green silk and velvet, and will rest on comfortable furnishings. What a wonderful reward; what a wonderful abode!

Redha = Contentment

2010-10-15T13:52:00.008+08:00

There are times in life when you are at a certain point and then you realize that you can never have imagined your life would be like this a year ago, maybe even 5 months ago. The things you worry about or were tormented with in the end turned out to be just fine. And then it suddenly hits you.. all this while Allah has always had your back. When He promised that He will provide for you, that whatever happens to you IS the best for you, He meant exactly that!

Say: "Nothing shall ever happen to us except what Allah has ordained for us. He is our Maula (Lord, Helper and Protector). And in Allah let the believers put their trust." [At-taubah - 9:51]

This recognition of divine intervention always, more often than not occurs in retrospect. When everything has settled down. When you have moved on with life after calamity strikes. When your worries are gone with the wind of time. When you have accepted what has been given to you. And then you look back at your life. In retrospect.

It is always in our reflection of ourselves (our muhasabah) that we will see how benevolent and bountiful Allah's Love and Mercy really is. The times we take to retract ourselves from the world of chaos and materialism outside and look inside carefully, these are those times that awareness and acceptance will come to us. And peace will befall us, a peace that can make even the most weary and discontented, serene and calm.

That is what we call Redha.

"As for him who gives (in charity) and keeps his duty to Allah, and believes in the Best reward from Allah (i.e. Allah will compensate him for what he will spend in Allah's way). So, We will make smooth for him the path of Bliss.." [Al-layl - 92:5-7]

"And have in their minds no favour from anyone for which a reward is expected in return, But only the desire to seek for the Countenance of their Lord Most High. And soon will they attain (complete) satisfaction." [Al-layl - 92:17-19]

A reminder to myself.

2010-10-11T17:33:00.002+08:00

The religion itself becomes a mean by which you promote your own ego. It's ironic because the religion was revealed for us to be humble ourselves. But now we are using that very Deen to express our arrogance.

Is the religion here to serve our needs, or are we here to serve Allah's Deen?

I have a very bad case of ego!
Please help me correct myself O Allah.
-_-

Muhasabah Diri: Usaha yang belum cukup

2010-10-11T12:34:00.003+08:00

Graf "Bagaimana boleh bertahan?". Bagaimana memahaminya?

Ianya boleh di bincangkan bagaimana atau betul dan salahnya. Tapi ia hanya pengalaman dari sunnatullah. Kita berusaha dan orang lain juga berusaha… tak semestinya kita bangga dengan pencapaian kita. Maybe ada formula lain yang lebih baik.

Fasa semasa belajar adalah paling kritikal dalam generasi Y. Di masa itu ia umpama besi yang berada di leburan atau relaunya. Semasa itulah masa untuk dibentuk oleh apa saja ideologi dan trend. Siapa yang cepat dan mampu bekerja keras dengan menggunakan sunnatullah yang paling tepat, nescaya dia berjaya membentuk seramai mungkin bentuk-bentuk manusia yang ada di dalam masyarakat.

Oleh kerana masa itu pendek dan masa pelajarlah saat paling mudah untuk diubah, maka saat itu juga perlu dibentuk ke tahap ke paling maksima. Maksima dari segi swing kepada Islamnya, maksima dari segi semangatnya, maksima dari segi keinginan dan rasa perlu kepada ilmu. Juga maksima untuk berpisah dari jahiliyyah akidah, perasaan dan kelakuan tingkahlaku.

Berjaya atau tidak semasa pembentukan dan pembenturan semasa fasa menjadi pelajar, itulah yang membentuk keinginan hidupnya semasa selepas belajar. Ingin atau tidaknya untuk meneruskan apa yang difahami dan dipegangi semasa zaman belajar ditentukan banyak oleh ia mencapai tahap lulus atau melepasi ‘area’ gelombang. Selepas gelombang akan ada kawasan tenang dan aman. Sesiapa yang tidak dapat melepasi area gelombang itulah maka ia akan terumbang ambing selepas zaman belajar!

Oleh itu…

Usaha maksima perlu dilakukan semasa zaman belajar…. adakah anda sebagai murabbi sanggup bertungkus lumus untuk itu? Atau mad’u anda akan meninggalkan anda dengan senyum selepas zaman belajar mereka dan berkata: “Terima kasih kak kerana membantu saya ber’halaqah’ semasa saya di IPT…. Tapi lepas kerja ni tengoklah dulu samada saya akan bersama atau tidak…!".

Murabbinya terkebil-kebil…. di mana silap aku?

Tapi semua hati manusia adalah di dalam kuasa al-Rahman, di bolak balikkan ke mana yang dikehendakiNya.

Dipetik dari: http://muntalaq.wordpress.com/2010/06/28/bagaimana-boleh-bertahan/

Questions and answers?

2010-10-03T17:03:00.005+08:00

I just realize today that most of the time in life we don't always get the answers to our questions at the exact time we are looking for it or at the very second we want it. It will come to you at the right time, when you are ready mentally, emotionally and spiritually to accept it.

And that's the hard part.

To be patient until you reach that right time actually zaps a lot of your energy off. Especially if you keep dwelling on it and blaming everything and everyone else in the world for not helping you get to the answers you wanted.

So the good thing to do is to let go. To stop blaming. To keep looking. To be patient until the time comes. In the mean time, to build yourself up, to prepare yourself so that when the answers come to you, you are strong enough to use the answers you get to move on to becoming a better, greater person to those around you.

I hope you're enlightened by my entry in the way that best suits you. Even if you don't really know what I'm talking about! Hehe. ;)

Penning off, for now.

Keindahan Islam terletak pada akhlak ummatnya.

2010-09-29T20:40:00.006+08:00

Allah.. terlalu lama hati ini tidak mencoretkan sesuatu di ceruk kecil ini. Moga Allah terima niat kerdil saya agar penulisan yang tak seberapa ini dipandangNya sebagai amal soleh di sana kelak.

Betapa saya sedar lemahnya diri dalam menjalani jalan yang penuh simpang siur ini. Jalan yang sukar penuh berduri tapi pada hakikatnya amat manis bagi mereka yang mengerti erti 'pengorbanan' yang sebenar.

Terkadang dek kerana hati yang penuh noda-noda hitam, perasaan sombong diri dan takabur mudah saja meresap masuk. Gunung nan tinggi terasa mudah didaki dengan kaki sendiri, langit terasa dekat digapai dengan tangan sendiri. Semuanya atas usaha sendiri. Aku lah yang hebat.. aku lah yang baik.. aku lah yang paling banyak berkorban.. Aduh, semuanya aku, aku, aku!! Habis, siapa yang menciptakan kaki dan tangan itu? Siapa yang memberi kudrat untuk memanjat gunung itu? Dan sesungguhnya, siapa yang memberi hati untuk merasai perasaan serta keinginan yang kuat sehingga boleh memanjat dan menggapai segala-galanya, kalau bukan Dia Sang Pencipta yang Maha Hebat?!

Astagfirullah. Astagfirullah. Astagfirullah.

Buat mereka yang terlalu istimewa buat diri saya (Abang, Ibu, Abah, Kak If, Tiqah, Afiq, close families, Ikhwah Akhwat and close friends serta semua yang mengenali diri ini, especially those who are reading this - I just had a strong feeling to put your names down), maafkan saya kerana terlalu banyak cacat dan celanya akhlak yang dipamerkan. Sedangkan akhlak itulah cerminan kepada utuhnya keimanan serta hubungan saya dengan Sang Ilah di Langit sana. Akhlak itulah petunjuk kepada tahap kekuatan semangat saya dalam menjalani apa yang saya dakwahkan.

Moga Allah bantu saya untuk mencantikkan lagi akhlak dan layanan saya terhadap mereka yang saya sayangi kerana Allah. Amin, Ya Rabb Al-Amin.

Terlalu banyak tarbiyah yang ingin Allah ajarkan pada kita melalui peristiwa-peristiwa yang Dia sendiri susunkan untuk kita sebenarnya. Cuma kita sahaja yang perlu memilih untuk belajar dari kesilapan itu atau terus-menurus membiarkan diri kita berada di dalam kegelapan jahiliyyah.

Benarlah, keindahan Islam itu terletak pada akhlak ummatnya!

Can I make a difference?

2010-09-01T20:00:00.004+08:00

I am at the centre of a mount, bearing my soul to the world. My head spinning and spinning and spinning around. There seem to be only darkness around me and only the music of chaos that my ears can hear. It feels like my fellow humans are condemned to a lifetime of sufferings.

The strong always pushing down the meek and dainty, always wanting to be on top, always afraid of giving what they believe is theirs to keep. Those below always in a perpetual state of doom and sorrow, where hope to them is not something to hold on to.

I am trying.. I am trying..

"And never give up hope of Allah's soothing Mercy:
Truly no one despairs of Allah's soothing Mercy
except those who have no faith."
(12:87)

Qalamullah

2010-08-12T11:11:00.004+08:00

Rasulullah (Sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said: 'When a man dies and his relatives are busy in funeral, there stands an extremely handsome man by his head. When the dead body is shrouded, that man gets in between the shroud and the chest of the deceased.

Thereafter he turns to his dead companion and says, 'I am the Qur'an, which you used to read, sometimes in a loud voice and sometimes in a low voice. Do not worry. After the interrogation of Munkar and Naker, you will have no grief.'

When the interrogation is over, the handsome man arranges for him from Al-Mala'ul A'laa (the angels in Heaven) silk bedding filled with musk.

Rasulullah (Sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said: 'On the Day of Judgement, before Allah, no other Intercessor will have a greater status than the Qur'an, neither a Prophet nor an angel.'

Lets all read lots and lots of the Quran! Especially on this blessed month. =)

Strength comes from within!

2010-07-29T16:40:00.007+08:00

Have you ever tried walking hundreds of miles in the middle of the desert, after being deserted by your own kin, towards a village. Your heart carried a burden so heavy that made the mountains cried, hardships after hardships, misfortunes following one another. Would you still have hope?

Hope that the community you were moving towards to would welcome you with open arms and greet the truth you brought with a thirst of a homeless man.

And what if when you were there, you were drench with cruel and spiteful chants, run down by little children throwing sticks and rocks at you, when in your deepest of hearts all you want was for them to be saved from a never-ending torment of burning hot inferno.

Would you still hope for the best and pray that the next generation would be better? Or would you have just given up?

Strength comes from Allah. From a believe that nothing can stop the good getting to you if God wants it for you, nothing can save you from harm if God knows that it is indeed the best for you.

To believe that in the face of all difficulties, all doors will be opened to those who submit themselves to Allah - that is the only solution that can provide you with peace, comfort, happiness and blessings in this world and the hereafter.

Note to self: You don't always get what you want. Learn to be thankful with what you already have!

Love is...

2010-07-23T03:19:00.008+08:00

Love is more than just small or big gestures showing how much we care. Love is more than just saying sweet words to make the people we love feel happy. Love is more than about saying I love you.

Love is about wanting, praying and working for eternal bliss for your loved ones.

My ukhtis showed me this. My syuyukhs thought me this. But most importantly My Dearest, the person who worried about my faith, prayed for my hereafter and loved me more than he loved himself even when I was not even born yet, my beloved prophet Rasulullah s.a.w.

Eternal bliss - kebahagiaan di akhirat. Akhirat, where there is no end.

Have I worked hard enough and sacrificed everything I can so that the people I love can know eternal bliss in the hereafter? I am scared to answer the question.

When your soul feels dark and your heart feels hard, pray to Allah. So that He may cleanse and purify them. Jangan sampai terkunci mati!

Allah membersihkan siapa yang dikehendakiNya.
Dan Allah Maha Mendengar lagi Maha Mengetahui
(24:21)

Meaning.

2010-07-08T11:50:00.013+08:00

I was reading about activation of complement system following deposition of immune complexes at the glomerular capillaries in my new "Pengantin/Bride's" room, when my dad knocked the door and popped his head inside. I bet I look a mess, with books strewn all over the floor, trying to get a comprehensive understanding of a topic I already know on the basis. Hehe.

Dad: "Doesn't it feel awkward?"
Me: "Why? Awkard what?"
Dad: "Well, you know, studying and this."
Me: "This what?" I already figured out what he meant but I was trying to play dumb. Naughty me.
Dad: "Studying and.." smiling while looking around the room.
Me: "You mean getting married while studying? Studying and getting married?"
Dad: "Uhuh.."
Me: "No. It's not awkward. You did it."
Dad: "NO I DIDN'T!!" Haha, abah risau lah tu orang tuduh dia! =P
Me: "Yes, you did. You did it while you were studying for your Masters and phD."
Dad: "Itu lain lah. *mumbling something uncomprehensible*" Closed the door and when to do his stuff while still mumbling uncomprehensible disagreements.

Do I wish that things happened the way I wanted them to? Heck, yes. But can I change what has happened? Well, I can learn from my mistakes but in the end I have to hold strong, steadfast to the believe that whatever that has happened has been destined by my Creator to be the best for me... and my faith ultimately. And no, I can't change a thing.

Thus, I also have to believe that I am the one responsible to derive meaning out of my own life. That I make my own happiness out of whatever Allah has provided me with, be it easy or hard. That what people think of me is important so that I can improve myself from criticism but it is my choice to feel positive or negative about it. That the usual, comfortable, normal, 'successful' path is what everyone dream of but the road not taken (sometimes you choose to take it, sometimes you accidently stumble upon it, and sometimes like in my case you are thrown without warning into it) can present you with so many delightful surprises and probably a lost too to those who took the usual path.

Some might take pity of me, some might worry about me (my parents fall into this category), some might even say I deserved it. But those who truly understand the meaning of life, of its' ups and down, would be profoundly and sincerely happy for me.

I am not jubilant for the sins that I have commited in the past, but I feel blessed and truly content for the life that Allah has written for me. And with that contentment, comes a readiness to be tested by Allah, insyaAllah. For when it comes down to it, what I'm really aiming for is not happiness in this world but in Paradise! Therein lies the best.

[29:2] Do the people think that they will be left to say, "We believe," without being put to the test?

[29:3] We have tested those before them, for God must distinguish those who are truthful, and He must expose the liars.

[29:4] Do those who commit sins think that they can ever fool us? Wrong indeed is their judgment.

[29:5] Anyone hoping to meet God, (should know that) such a meeting with God will most assuredly come to pass. He is the Hearer, the Omniscient.

[29:6] Those who strive, strive for their own good. God is in no need of anyone.

[29:7] Those who believe and lead a righteous life, We will certainly remit their sins, and will certainly reward them generously for their righteous works.

Muntalaq. Langkah baru bermula.. SEKARANG.
No more excuses!

Alhamdulillah!

2010-06-26T12:03:00.002+08:00

I am only a pawn in the grand scheme of the Creator, yet somehow I feel soooo loved. This feeling is a gift and I pray that we both will never loose it. All praise be to You O Allah, all praise be to You Lord of the Universe, all praise be to You, The True Lover above all others.

Alhamdulillah. Oh words can't describe how lucky I feel right now! ^_^

May this bond propel us to become better Muslims and sincere fighters (Mujahids) of our Deen.
Amin.

Surprise! Surprise!

2010-06-19T08:46:00.003+08:00

I have been aloft from the blogging world for awhile. Truth is, I don't see the relevant of me writing out my thoughts anymore. Maybe I should just stop?

It's all a whirl wind of thoughts and emotions right now. In real time, life has been throwing a lot of unexpected rocks at me along with sweets and candies too. And so, I have been humbled by what Allah has proclaimed in His Book of Love Letters:

Verily the knowledge of the Hour is with Allah (alone).
It is He Who sends down rain, and He Who knows what is in the wombs.
Nor does any one know what it is that he will earn on the morrow.
Nor does any one know in what land he is to die.
Verily with Allah is full knowledge and He is acquainted (with all things).
-31:34-

Oh God. I feel like crying already. Live in the present, Arifah.. live in the present! Sometimes getting carried away with rainbows and dreams can make you believe you can fly, when the best you can do is to ride a plane. To believe and aspire are great, but reality should never be put aside else you will end up falling splat face down into a pool of shit and mud while you were trying to act out your 'believe' that you can actually fly!

Darn. Ok, this blabbering should stop right about now.

Have a good life people~!

JOM!

2010-06-10T12:07:00.003+08:00

Cause we just move forward

2010-06-04T03:41:00.004+08:00

Out of the darkness
I came the farthest
Among the hardest survive
Learn form these streets
It can be bleak
Accept no defeat, surrender, retreat

We're wondering - when we will be free?
So we patiently wait for that fateful day
Its not far away!

Hope Abides

2010-05-31T18:44:00.002+08:00

Day and night I shall swim,
In the sweetness river of hope,
May my mind every morning become,
As beautiful as hope's rays of dawn,
Peace begins when expectation ends.

Each sacred hope,
Is a blessed gift,
From Heaven’s heart.

Hope abides; therefore I abide.
Countless frustrations have not cowed me.
I am still alive, vibrant with life.
The black cloud will disappear,
The morning sun will appear once again
In all its supernal glory.

Genius!

2010-05-24T16:30:00.001+08:00

“Everybody is a genius. But, if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

- Albert Einstein

Picking up myself

2010-05-21T20:01:00.004+08:00

I can say I deserve success for all my hard work, I can throw tantrums and shout to the sky for the unfairness of it all, I can say that those people are no better than I am probably worse, I can cry myself out until my eyes are like soot (although I think they already are now), I can be depressed until I fulfill all the criteria in DSM-IV (medical students and doctors would know this, lol) to be diagnosed as Major Depressive Disorder, I can curse the powers that be that caused me my anguish and ultimately I would be blaming God for His plans.

But what do I get from it all?

Or I can pick myself up, look for the future, move forward and thank Allah for giving me the chance to redeem myself in His Eyes alone.

It is never easy to pick yourself up from a defeat. But pick yourself up you must. For what way else can you go but forward?

Allah makes abundant the means of subsistence for whom He pleases of His servants, or straitens (them) for him. Surely Allah is Knower of all things.

And those who strive hard for Us, We shall certainly guide them in Our ways.And Allah is surely with the doers of good.

[29:62,69]

Sweet as honey.

2010-05-11T12:40:00.002+08:00

Please don't let me loose this feeling, Ya Allah.
Alhamdulilah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah.

Redha

2010-05-05T07:33:00.004+08:00

Bila diri kuserah padaMu
Itu tanda tawakalku
Biarpun tidak sekuat kekasih Mu yg lain
Tapi tetap aku bersyukur
Kerana aku masih kenal tempat bergantungku
Lantas, aku harapkan pembebasan minda dan rasa
Kerna aku tahu, aku sangat memerlukannya
Dalam menjaga niat, memupuk ikhlas
Dalam melayari perjalanan penuh cabaran
Dalam pencarian redhaMu Tuhan.

The love of Allah.

2010-05-01T19:23:00.007+08:00

Sometimes we stress so much on the wickedness of sin that we forget to emphasize on the limitless mercy and forgiveness of a loving God. We become trapped in a bog of self-condemnation while trying to limit the mercy of Allah to our own narrow dimension. In reality, we are not building up repentance but a whole load of neuroses in ourselves and in others we are trying to help.

Sometimes we are so slavishly afraid of Allah that we are afraid to love Him. Fear is basically a lack of hope. Living in fear of Allah (not out of His Bountifulness, but out of despair) only makes us wallow in bitterness and trapped in a cycle of depression and anxiety. But faith, hope and love of Allah give us the courage to face up to ourselves and to life.

The Qur'an and hadiths teach us how to love Allah, our family, our neighbors, our friends and ourselves in the way He wants us to; and the deepening of this capacity to love is a continuing, never-ending process. In order to love others, and to respect them as that love requires, we must recognize their special relationship with God. Things are never quite as they seem to us. We think we know everything about everyone, that we know best. We don't.

Allah calls each individual and puts the desire to be accepted by Him in his or her heart - but before we can recognize this in others, we must find it in ourselves. We have to experience the faithfulness of Allah towards us, no matter how unfaithful to Him we have been! If we wish to see those around us as we should, we should try to see them through the 'eyes of God'. Only then can we truly love them.

That is why it is also necessary to see ourselves through the 'eyes of God'. To bear witness to Allah and to help others to know Him and come to Him, we need to live with Him and stay with Him. This is what we call Taqwa; God-consciousness. This is why we accept the discipline of the five pillars, and try to get closer to Allah's mystery and love by it.

You may have been born a Muslim, but what you've heard and observed is useless unless you belive it and act on it for yourself. No one can do this for you, on your behalf, because each one of us has to make his or her own response to Allah - first hand! We can not be second hand Muslims.

It we feel lonely or isolated, our prayer is the end to our isolation. It means living our daily life with Someone. He is the only One we can find in our own heart, to Whom we can tell anything that is in us. He, of course, is always present, even if we do not realise it. Our prayer hopefully makes us aware of His Presence, which we might not realise if we did not pay attention.

It is the living Presence of Him who knows everything about us, and from Whom we recieve everything. That is why we should be humble - not because we want to concentrate on our weakness or helplessness or poor talents, but a joyful humility because He is so great and yet so close to us. It does not matter if we feel like a nobody or we have nothing - our love for Allah is a love that gives us everything. We know God by being aware of Him in ourselves, surrounding us, guiding our lives. Our prayer is the acceptance of Someone who has a plan for us.

Even if our faith is small and incomplete, we can grasp as much as we can of it, and live by it through all manner of adversity and trials. Allah allows us to guess and glimps His will, and our faith in Him becomes our support. Even if everything seems empty, We can be certain that Allah is there. He cannot fail us, however badly we fail. If we live simply with this certainty, we will be at peace.

- Adapted from 'The Problem of Evil', by Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood.

I don't know how to write what I really feel.

2010-04-18T16:10:00.004+08:00

Your writing gives the world a vibe of the colors of your soul. It is like a distinctive personal signature. A DNA-like trademark of your very own personality. And like your personality, it can almost never be duplicated. Except for rare occasions.

But it is very hard to be original. Because baring yourself to others means exposing yourself to scrutiny and preconceived judgments of who you are by people who don't really care. Prejudice can be a very cruel thing.

I am an optimistic person most of the time, but I realized that my writings usually, albeit full of hope, tend to be on the dark side. Hmm, am I in reality a gloomy person?

- In Reverie -

Taking off the Hijab

2010-04-01T15:05:00.002+08:00

[LINK]

Question

I understand that hijab is required, and I’ve been wearing it for some time now but I feel like putting it on might have been a mistake. I don’t feel like it’s made me become a better Muslim, and I feel almost like I’m deceiving people because they look at me as an example even though I’m still struggling with a lot of things. Also, if I take it off, is it really something Allah will punish me for? It seems like such a petty thing. Isn’t the most important thing having a clean heart?

Answer

Assalaamu `alaykum dear questioner,

Thank you for asking this question which opens up a number of important issues, and for entrusting us enough to share with us some of what you’re struggling with. I ask Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala – exalted is He) that He makes the words that I write beneficial to you and others who are reading, and that He leads you to the best decisions.

I’d like to start by addressing what I believe is the least important factor in this equation, and that is ‘what other people might think.’ It should never be the case that we alter our practice of Islam or our worship for the sake of other people, or what they might think or assume. People may be quick to judge or jump to conclusions, but whatever thoughts or opinions they have are strictly their responsibility, and not something we should be overly concerned with.

You said that you’re worried that wearing hijab may be deceiving, because people see you as better than you really are. But in truth all of us are sinners, and it is only from Allah’s mercy upon us that He is as-Siteer - the One who veils our faults and our flaws, and makes us seem better than we really are in others’ eyes. One famous scholar said, “If sins had a smell no one would come near me because of the stench!” Every single one of us has deficiencies and weaknesses, has made mistakes, has taken missteps or is presently taking them. We only do the best that we can, and any good deed that Allah grants us the opportunity to perform should be considered a blessing that we take advantage of. Instead of worrying about not being good enough, we can instead consider this as an opportunity to be thankful to Allah for concealing our negatives, and pray, “O Allah, forgive me for what they do not know about me, and make me even better than what they think.”

You will be hard-pressed to find anyone on this earth who can be considered ‘worthy’ of being a representative of Islam, because everyone has one dimension or another in their faith or practice in which they are lacking. However that doesn’t mean we should stop encouraging each other by whatever means are available to us. There is a very beautiful hadith related to this issue:

Anas relates that, “We asked the Prophet ﷺ, ‘O Messenger of Allah ﷺ, shouldn’t we refrain from calling others to goodness if we don’t practice all good things ourselves, and shouldn’t we refrain from forbidding wrong things until we ourselves have abstained from all the bad?’ ‘No,’ he replied, ‘You should call others to goodness even if you don’t do all good, and you should forbid bad things even if you don’t abstain from all of them yourselves.’” (Al-Tabarani)

Remember that by wearing hijab you are not saying to others ‘I am Islam’, but simply that ‘I am a Muslim’, meaning – I am someone who is trying to follow this religion, who accepts it as truth, sees beauty in it and hopes to beautify myself with it. I remember a quote attributed to Yusuf Islam: “Islam is not a state of being but it is a process of becoming,” – becoming more, become better, striving to reach that state of perfect submission and connection with Allah Most High, and May He help all of us achieve that, ameen.

You also said that you feel hijab has not really made you a better Muslim. A lot of times when a person first starts performing a good deed they feel an iman ‘rush’, a feeling of happiness at doing something good for the sake of Allah and energy to do more, improve themselves, etc. However, after some time, when that action starts to become just another part of a daily routine, it loses that power, and that increase in iman and excitement dissipates.

What a person needs, instead of focusing on those ‘rushes’, is a steady and constant diet of good deeds and spiritual nourishment. We cannot rely on one particular deed to ‘make’ us better Muslims. Instead, we have to take the reigns and make sure we are doing things regularly that increase us in iman, like recitation of the Qur’an, performing salah with consciousness and focus, dhikr, and so on. Wearing hijab can definitely be one of those things, but it is only one part of a whole that needs to be constructed. Just like exercise is important for good health, yet it has to be combined with eating right and many other things in order for the person to see the desired results in the end.

Also know that there is a direct relationship between a person’s actions and their inner state. We know that when someone is in a high state of iman it’s natural for him or her to start performing more good deeds. However, we may overlook the fact that the opposite is true as well – that just performing good deeds, even if one may not be ‘feeling it’, can affect us and change us. The limbs are inroads, and performing good deeds with them can soften a hardened heart, bring enlightenment to a closed mind, and give a person a feeling of rejuvenation and desire to come closer to Allah and do more positive things. I heard a scholar say that if one is feeling troubled, confused or in a low state of iman, “go quickly to action”; because good deeds can bring about that inner reawakening one may need. If we don’t see a change happening in us when we do a good deed, that doesn’t mean we should stop it but that perhaps we need to supplement it with others in order to gather the momentum needed to see results.

Thirdly, you are absolutely correct when you say that the most important thing is for us to have purified hearts. Allah (swt) emphasizes this in the Qur’an when He states that on the Day of Judgment nothing will be of benefit to the servant except “one who brings to Allah a clean, sound heart” (26:89). The question is, how does one achieve that? What purifies us and cleanses our hearts?

In our times we find that some people feel that we’ve reached a more ‘enlightened era’ in which spirituality can be derived solely from philosophy and ideas, and need not be bound by rituals and details of religion. However those who propound this notion forget that Allah did not create us as minds and souls alone – but coupled them with our physical bodies. We cannot deny the fact that we are body and soul, content and form, together, and each has its own needs and specifications for refinement. This is a sunnah of Allah in the way that we were created, and why prayer, fasting, and all our spiritual endeavors have very specific physical components. These forms house within them dimensions of meaning, but it is only from enacting them precisely that a profound spirituality can be achieved.

Purifying our hearts is the goal, but the means to reaching that goal is through the very real and specific physical prescriptions and commandments that Allah (swt) has given us. It is through His obedience and through following the teachings of our deen that we clean and polish our hearts. It is for this reason that I have to say that hijab is not something trivial. Anything that leads us to spiritual awareness, elevation, and purification – that helps us come closer to Allah – cannot be considered trivial or petty. Perhaps it is more likely that there are hidden depths within it that we do not perceive, or that we are not putting it in the proper context of its deeper purpose and meaning.

About punishment from Allah: a better way of looking at this issue is not considering the smallness or pettiness of the sin, but the greatness of the One whom we are sinning against. From His infinite wisdom, all-encompassing knowledge and vast mercy, in accordance to His Law – which is at its core about attaining benefit and warding off harm – He has instructed us to perform this action. In the Qur’an Allah says, ‘It may be that you dislike something and in it is goodness for you’ (2:216); ‘It may be that you dislike a thing but Allah brings about from it a great deal of good.’ (4:19) If someone chooses to step away from a prescribed action knowingly, we cannot deny that this is a sin, and that Allah holds us to account for our sins. However, we always have hope in and pray for Allah’s mercy and kindness, as we know He can forgive all sins if He chooses.

In closing, I want to leave you with a beautiful quote from a Hadith Qudsi. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala said:

“My servant draws not near to Me with anything more beloved by Me than the religious duties I have enjoined upon him.” (Bukhari)

Know, dear questioner, that if you feel far from Allah, the solution is not to stop what you are doing and find a different way, but to persevere and continue on the path you are on, even though it is hard. This will make you beloved to Allah, and one who feels the happiness of being close to Him and being shaded by His Loving Mercy and care.

May Allah enliven and enlighten our hearts and grant us closeness to Him. May He make us people who love to worship Him, and through our worship become close to Him and gain His love. May He make our hearts firm and steadfast on our deen, and grant us strength and bravery in our spiritual struggles. May He guide us to the best decisions and make easy for us the path of khayr [goodness]. Ameen ya Rabb.

WAllahu a`lam – and He alone knows best.

Wasalaamu alaykum.

Of Love and Mercy

2010-03-31T00:32:00.001+08:00

“O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind.

O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of me, I would forgive you.

O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as it.”

- Hadith Qudsi 34

"I am as My servant thinks I am. I am with him when he makes mention of Me. If he makes mention of Me to himself, I make mention of him to Myself; and if he makes mention of Me in an assembly, I make mention of him in an assemble better than it. And if he draws near to Me an arm’s length, I draw near to him a fathom’s length. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed."

- Hadith Qudsi 15

Tick Tock

2010-03-16T23:01:00.003+08:00

There is a time for everything.
Now, is the time to heal.

"And He will provide him from sources he never could imagine.
And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him.
Verily, Allah will accomplish his purpose.
Indeed Allah has set a measure for all things."
[65:3]

Spiritual Growth

2010-03-13T20:24:00.011+08:00

It is easy to focus on what's in front of us rather than seeing beyond what the eyes behold. Often more than not we judge people by their appearance, we judge people by their first impressions, we judge people by how they communicate with others, by how the treat us, by how they express their feelings, on the fickleness of a momentary reaction. Yet we forget that the thing which defines a person is the best of what they can be when they truly reveal their true potentials and what really matters is the conviction of faith that lies within the heart.

They call it spirituality.

The believe that there is higher power that controls all beings and all things. A power that governs in such mysterious ways that we can not even get close to comprehending the reasons behind each.

It is impossible to rationalize the events that shows the endurance of a human spirit overcoming great obstacles to emerge stronger than before. Those people who faced all those disasters in Acheh and recently Haiti yet still remain strong and calm, the ones in Palestine, Afghanistan, South Thai who faces constant terror against the brutalness of war each day, every day of their lives without ever giving up hope that one day peace will befall them, the girl who was homeless but still fought to successfully get into Harvard, the lad who failed multiple subjects in PMR but got straight A's in SPM.

Oh you can say he worked his ass off, that's why he excelled. They are used to those conditions that's why they are brave. She's already borned a brainiac, it's not surprising that she got into Harvard.

But you have to honestly ask yourselves, if there is no higher power that gave the human race the gift of courage, perseverance and hope, would they have emerged victorious?

Spirituality. When we get down to it, it is our faith that gets us through the toughest of times. It is our believe that no breakdown occurs in vain that pushes us to find the reasons behind each failure.

Yet in this fast-paced-knowledge-based-empowered-user-intelligent- minds era, we have truly forgotten where our priorities lie. In an era where people constantly brag about financial stability, intellectual advancement and emotional evolvement, we have ignored the one thing that truly defines us as humans. We have on an enormous scale disregard our spiritual growth.

In the chaos of studying for exams, mending broken hearts and making extra cash - have you remembered to check your faith today?

- Soul searching strayer

"When My servants ask thee concerning Me, I am indeed close;
I listen to the prayer of every supplicant when he calleth on Me.
Let them also, with a will, listen to My call,
and believe in Me; so that they may walk in the right way."
[2:186]

Mistakes

2010-02-25T22:25:00.002+08:00

"You made a mistake."

"But I stayed. I worked. I learned. I never made that mistake again.
If I had quit, all I would have had was that life.. that I lost.
Instead, I get to save lives. Everyday, I get to save lives."

Lamentation

2010-02-24T00:20:00.008+08:00

It's normal to get lost. We get lost all the time. It only becomes a problem when we can not find our way back. And sometimes, we can never find our way back.

So, who gets to decide who gets lost and who survive? What defines a survivor and makes one a failure?

One who is given the strength and motivation to go on, but another who is deprived of the privilege to feel what it means to always be inspired.

Do we get to choose the turmoil we are thrown into?

I am judgmental, stubborn, erratic, self-righteous, most snobbish person I have ever known. If this is a chance for me to correct that, I pray O Allah for some time of atonement.

I do not know when, I just know that I need time. Please...

A note to self

2010-02-22T19:03:00.002+08:00

What do you do when you are stuck at a crossroad in life? The point where you will have to make a choice. A choice that will seem trivial now, but will change you in ways only the future will reveal. How do you make the right choice?

Right. Wrong. Where do you draw the line between 2 areas of immensely different entity? It is as if they are merged in the middle to become one and leave you behind in a state of perplexity to only realize that life is never black and white. We all live in the grays.

We are all fighting to get somewhere. We might not know where yet, but we are already embarking on that journey since the first day our lungs began to ventilate. And nobody said the journey would be an easy one. Just remember that everyone's fighting, so be happy that you are still given the chance to fight.

Stop whining already and get to it!

Once in Awhile

2010-02-07T18:41:00.003+08:00

There is so many feelings you can have at a time. There is so many secrets you can keep bottled up inside of you. Until a point where hope is beyond your grasp.

Why is it so easy to feel like you are loosing yourself sometimes?

We often seem to forget, in the midst of chaos that we live in, that when it comes down to it all we ever crave for is understanding and better still, acceptance.

Not to accept that we shall be stuck forever in confusion or in a sea of ignorance, no. But to accept that to be human is to err, to fall, to succumb to ill desires, to just let go.

Beyond everything else, to have faith that our spirit will once again soar to the peak of victory. When we truly believe that circumstances can be changed, for the better.

Makan Dalam

2010-02-03T18:16:00.001+08:00

Bukan masanya untuk berputus asa.
Teruskan langkah.
Moga Allah izinkan kita bertemu di taman indah itu kelak.
Kuatkan semangat ya?

Reverting

2010-01-25T19:36:00.004+08:00

Of reversion generally he stated: “I use the word revert because, I mean, everyone uses convert because that is just a Western ideal. You know (in the Western context) that you have converted to something. But when you look into Islam I guess you realize that the term Muslim just means it comes from Islam, Right? It is a statement of what you are. So Islam means to submit your will to God; to do what God asks you to do; whereas a Muslim is someone who is doing it. So if you are not doing what God has asked you, you are not a Muslim.

So, in effect, Muslim is not a noun, it’s a doing word (a verb). Therefore, my tree in the backyard is doing what God asked it. The tree is Muslim to me, you know! It’s submitting its will to God. Everything has energy. So when you’re born, you’re Muslim, you know! ‘I’m hungry’ - you cry - that’s Islamic you know,” he says laughing. “You are acting in accordance with your nature, and it’s only when you get a little bit older, and people teach you stuff, that you go away from Islam because you take on someone else’s ideals. Then when you want to come back, you revert, because you were already Muslim when you were born.”

-Abu Bakr, an Australian revert-

MUSLIM: It's not a noun, it's a verb. You have to do it. We are considered a Muslim because we do what a Muslim should do; submit ourselves to Allah's will. So let's be frank with ourselves, have we done what we are suppose to do? If we haven't, then consider this... are we really a Muslim after all?

Strive and Allah will help you through!

A short message by Arifah Abd. Rahim.

Trust

2010-01-25T07:56:00.004+08:00

Trust is a hard thing.

Trust is allowing someone else to do and be for you.
Trust is giving away power and telling secrets and sharing things that you would never want anyone else to know.
Trust is using faith. Faith in another person's decisions, and choices, and knowledge.
Trust is when you know that the other person would do everything in their power for you if you needed them.
Trust is knowing that they will never let you down if they can help it.
Trust is not needing to speak, because the one you can rely on is there.

Trust is hard.

Trust requires being vulnerable.
Trust needs to be returned.
Trust cannot be fleeting.
Trust requires more than a passing glance.

Trust is hard.

Trust leans.
Trust waits.
Trust hopes.

Trust is hard.

Trust is giving a piece of yourself to another knowing it will be safe.
Trust is giving a piece of yourself to another not knowing if things will change.

Trust is hard.

Sometimes, trusting means you will be disappointed and let down.

Problems are problems

2010-01-23T16:19:00.006+08:00

You don’t have to love every single part of your job. You have to love the final product. What makes you motivated is not that you are laying bricks all day long, but the idea that you are building a mansion. The process itself can be boring, but if you have a purpose, it will motivate you. Follow up and follow through, till the end. That is where the prizes are.

Quoting my sister:

Everyone has problems, the difference is how we handle them. Or should I say, tests from Allah?

There, you see.. enlightenment sometime comes from the most unexpected places.
Let's see how I handle them this time around. Pray with me!

Kejutan

2009-12-27T18:31:00.002+08:00

"Kehidupan di dunia tidak akan seronok andai tiada kesukaran. Kerana kesukaranlah yang mengajar kita untuk tetap bersyukur dan terus bergantung harap pada yang Esa."

Baru mendapat berita kematian (lagi) seorang Muslim, ayah kepada salah seorang bekas rakan serumahku saat usai solat asar tadi. Terkesima sebentar lalu hati tidak henti-henti mengucapkan innalillah dan astaghfirullah.

Terasa seperti ujian yang sedang ku lalui terlalu kecil, amat amat minute jika hendak dibandingkan dengan apa yang rakanku itu sedang lalui kini.

Terbayang dirinya yang terkapai-kapai tanpa kehadiran seorang wali kelak dihari pernikahannya, tanpa seorang pemberi semangat ketika menjelang hari peperiksaannya nanti, nyatanya tanpa tempat mengadu dan bermanja sepanjang hidupnya di masa hadapan.

Secara jujur, tidak tahu apa yang hendak diucapkan padanya. Jika ucap takziah semakin sedihkah dia? Jika memberi kata-kata semangat marahkah dia kerana tidak memahami situasinya?

Maka, yang mampu diberikan dengan setulus ikhlas adalah sebuah doa agar Allah memberinya kekuatan untuk meneruskan kehidupan, agar Allah memberinya petunjuk untuk menjadi Muslim yang lebih baik kerana kematian itu tiada warning signs, agar kesukaran dan ujian ini mengajar dia untuk tetap bersyukur dan terus bergantung harap pada yang Esa.

May Allah ease your pain and give you peace of mind, my friend. I love you.

H1431 - Titik Perubahan Kita InsyaAllah!

2009-12-26T20:15:00.003+08:00

A bit late I might say, but better late than never. Shift your paradigm and change your life for paradise, insyaAllah. Ameen.

Merantai itu bukan rantai itu tapi fikirannya.

Akhir perjalanan kita adalah di syurga, insyaAllah, dan kita akan jumpa orang-orang yang hebat. Rasulullah, Abu Bakr, Aishah.. Syurga hanya menerima orang-orang yang hebat masuk kedalamnya. Sekiranya kita tak hebat, apa pilihan yang kita ada? Tak layak ke syurga, ke nerakalah pilihan kedua.

Maka, kita tiada pilihan melainkan kita mesti menjadi manusia yang hebat.

Allah menjadikan manusia sebaik-baik kejadian. Sempena tahun baru ini, kejayaan terbesar kita adalah apabila kita berjaya mengenal di manakah keistimewaan dan potensi kita.

95:4 - Sesungguhnya kami telah jadikan manusia dengan sebaik baik kejadian.

A new start

2009-12-26T15:54:00.004+08:00

“No one can go back and change a bad beginning but everyone can make a new start and create a successful ending."

Learning to let go. Jadilah Muslim yang bermanfaat pada ummah!

“Manusia hidup adalah mereka yang memberikan banyak manfaat kepada manusia yang lain. Sekiranya hidup kita tiada sebarang perubahan dan kemajuan serta tidak memberikan manfaat kepada orang lain, kita tidak ubah seperti mereka yang mati sebelum masanya.”

Berubahlah untuk mengubah!

- Mengambil inspirasi seorang sahabat -

Coincidental?

2009-12-24T00:46:00.004+08:00

"Hey Shawn, it's such a coincidence to bum into you here!"

"Well, methinks it must be the weather!"

Ever heard of the usual conversation like the above? It seems like there is nothing wrong with it at first glance but going in depth of the meaning behind it, as a Muslim, it goes against the very core of our Aqidah. Because we believe that in this world there is no coincidence, only what have been preordained by Allah.

Jadi, jika semuanya sudah berada dalam pengetahuan Allah Yang Maha Adil lagi Maha Mengetahui apa yang terbaik untuk kita, why in the world should we waste our time worrying about it?!

Tapi jangan salah faham tau, sudah semestinya kita wajib berusaha sebab usaha itu adalah sunatullah dalam melayakkan diri kita mendapat pertolonganNya, pahala dariNya dan yang paling best redhaNya.

So, I believe that Allah really knew that I needed to hear this song to enlighten my scarred soul because it suddenly popped out from my MP3 player when I ignited the car at the most accurate moment. It was no mere coincidence. Thank you Allah! I love You. =)

Moga kita semua menuju Husnul Khatimah, kematian yang baik insyaAllah.

Hari esok nan melambai
Mentari kan terbit lagi
Semua itu tidak kekal
Kan binasa akhirnya

Indahnya alam semesta
Hingga terasa di hati
Yang hidup akan punah
Yang mula ada akhirnya

Oh indah ciptaanNya
Yang ada sementara
Semuanya akan sirna
Yang kekal hanyalah Allah

Telah Dia tentukan
Usia makhluk semua
Yang hidup akan mati
Tiada yang abadi

Hari esok nan melambai
Mentari kan terbit lagi
Semua itu tidak kekal
Kan binasa akhirnya

Kawan tak selamanya
Kasih demikian jua
Bahagia ada batasnya
Suka duka silih berganti

Esok entahkan ada
Terbitkah mentari pagi
Yang pasti kita semua
Menunggu saat binasa
Menunggu ajalkan tiba
Menanti ketentuanNya

2009-12-22T14:15:00.000+08:00

Stagnant.

Thank You Allah

2009-12-19T20:43:00.001+08:00

"I was so far from you.. Yet to me you were always so close.. I wandered lost in the dark.. I closed my eyes toward the signs.. You put in my way.. I walked everyday.. Further and further away from you.."

Hati terasa syahdu melihat alam sambil mendengar lagu Maher Zain 'Thank You Allah' terngiang-ngiang di telinga. Rasa tak rugi buat decision nak beli iPod Nano 2 minggu yang lalu (thank you Abah belanja separuh harga! Hehe.) di PC Fair, hampir 5 G digunakan untuk upload ceramah ustaz-ustaz saja, 1G lagu dan masih berbaki 2 G. Tapi tak tau nak letak ape dah! Eh, macam mana boleh melencong pasal iPod pulak ni?

Aci tak kalau nak switch to english? Haha.

I went jogging around Lake Titiwangsa actually just now. Don't know why I suddenly felt the urge to jog. Maybe because I had a huge lunch in the afternoon (kenduri di kampung) and then while we were travelling back to KL from Kuantan, it was pure hibernation in deep sleep for me in the car. Pity dad had to drive alone cause everyone else was in dreamland almost the whole distance. Right, I'm diverting from the real issue again. Sorry. =P

"I never thought about.. All the things you have given to me.. I never thanked you once.. I was too proud.. To see the truth.. And prostrate to you.. Until I took the first step.. And that's when you opened the doors for me.. Now Allah, I realized what I was missing.. By being far from you.."

The skies were clear but gloomy, the trees were dancing to a secret sad melody only they know and the birds swaying around the middle of the lake, round and round and round. It was like I was suck into their world, submerging myself into the soul of the earth, feeling their heartaches as if they were my own.

To see mankind sink deep into a world of despair and corruption. To see mankind, forget their true purpose in life and live so acutely buried in their own selfishness.

And remembering that once, once upon a time, I was part of the atrocity. Lost in a jungle of lust and anger. Thinking that life was only about getting what I want. That death is the end of it, so why not live life to the fullest?

"Allah, I wanna thank you.. I wanna thank you for all the things that you've done.. You've done for me through all my years I've been lost.. You guided me from all the ways that were wrong.. Indeed you gave me hope.. "

It was as if a candle was lit up in the middle of dark night. A voice calling you softly to walk towards the light. Nudging you, waking you up from your slumber. Telling you that there is more to life. Then, when you have illuminated your candle and you have felt how utterly blissful it is to live in the light of the truth.. the obligation and the burden of responsibilty dawned upon you that now it's you who have to go out and light up other people's candles too.

No matter how hard it is, not matter how far the path of truth takes you away from all the things that you desire. You have to. You just have to. Because at this point, your desires goes beyond what is merely in this mortal life, what you really want will only be given to you in the eternal life but only if you go on, giving, spreading, loving, fighting, guiding, helping other people to get to the light too. And ultimately the only reason you can give is.. if you don't, who else will?

"I wanna thank you for bringing me home.."

"He begged forgiveness from his Lord and fell down prone, prostrating, and repented. So We forgave him for that and he has nearness to Us and a good Homecoming."
(Surah Sad: 21-25)

"..those who convey Allah's Message and fear Him and do not anyone but Allah. Allah suffices as a Reckoner."
(Surat al-Ahzab: 39)

Believe

2009-12-18T13:43:00.008+08:00

You have to believe that whatever Allah puts you through is the best for you. Best means there is nothing better.
Even if you feel like the world is crushing down on you, believe!
Believe that He knows what is best for you. BELIEVE.
And you shall be at peace.
InsyaAllah.

If you ask me about love
And what I know about it
My answer would be
It’s everything about Allah
The pure love, to our souls

The Creator of you and me
The heaven and whole universe
The One that made us whole and free
The guardian of His true believers

So when the time is hard
There’s no way to turn
As He promise He will always be there
To bless us with His love and His mercy
Cause, as He promise He will always be there

He’s always watching us, guiding us
And He knows what’s in all in our heart
So when you lose your way
To Allah you should turn
As He promise He will always be there

He'd bring us out from the darkness into the light
Subhanallah, praise belongs to You for everything
Shouldn’t never feel afraid of anything
As long as we follow His guidance all the way
Through the short time we have in this life
Soon it'll all be over
And we’ll be in His heaven and we’ll all be fine

So when the time gets hard
There’s no way to turn
As He promise He will always be there
To bless us with His love and His mercy
Cause, as He promise He will always be there
He’s always watching us, guiding us
And He knows what’s in all in our heart
So when you lose your way
To Allah you should turn

Ajal: Sudah cukupkah amal?

2009-12-14T12:53:00.004+08:00

Apabila Allah menyeru "Kun Fa Ya Kun", you have no power to stop it...

Pagi itu saya mendapati mereka sungguh teruja merancang untuk ke walimah ukhti itu pada hari Sabtu. Saya tumpang gembira. Tengah hari, mereka mengkhabarkan berita tidak terduga itu. Pengantin lelaki dan keluarganya kemalangan! Kami terdiam dan berdoa dalam hati. Moga pengantin dan keluarganya selamat...

Sambil memandu mereka ke destinasi yang lain, kami bertukar-tukar cerita. Berita tengah hari itu tetap menjadi topik utama. Tiba-tiba mendapat khabar baru, pengantin sudah kembali ke rahmatullah. Hening. Hati saya bagai direnggut seribu rasa. Subhanallah, kematian itu benar datang dengan tiba-tiba dan tanpa diduga. Saat mendengar khabar kemalangan daripada pengantin perempuan, kami semua tidak terbayangkan kemalangan yang begitu dahsyat.

Mereka mula menimbangkan bagaimana mahu menziarahi pengantin yang juga merupakan teman serumah mereka sedang saya baru menjemput mereka beramai-ramai membantu program tajmi' kami. Lalu seorang ukhti berbicara dengan penuh ketenangan, "Kita teruskan saja. Andai kita pula mati nanti, ada adik-adik ini yang bakal menyambung tugas kita". Masya Allah! Luhur sungguh hati ukhti yang baru saya temui dua-tiga kali ini. Malah bantuan yang mereka semua hulurkan itu sememangnya begitu bermakna dan mengesankan adik-adik. Hanya Allah yang dapat membalas pengorbanan mereka semua. Lalu di pagi Sabtu itu mereka bergegas ke rumah ukhti pengantin di utara.

Saya terfikir, begitu besar ujian yang diberi Allah kepada ukhti pengantin. Tentu saja selayaknya dengan iman yang besar juga yang Allah lebih mengetahui dimiliki oleh ukhti itu. Lalu bagaimana dengan saya? Belum tentu cukup kuat untuk menghadapi ujian sehebat itu. Subhanallah. Moga ketabahan ukhti mengharungi ujian ini nanti bakal menginspirasikan yang lainnya pula. Teringat bagaimana kisah Ummu Sulaym yang kehilangan anaknya...dan betapa teguh pendiriannya. Betapa hebat beliau menyantuni Abu Talhah walau besar terasa kesedihan atas pemergian anak kesayangan. Semoga pemergian Akh pengantin di bawah redha Allah juga dan diampuni segala dosanya juga kedua ibu bapanya.

Sedih melihat laporan media yang ternyata menggunakan cara yang salah untuk membuatkan cerita itu lebih menyayat hati. Tentunya mereka ialah orang-orang yang memilih untuk membina segitiga cinta, dengan Allah di puncak tertingginya. Mereka memilih untuk cinta yang halal, cinta hanya selepas aqad dilafazkan.

Peristiwa yang tentunya mengandungi seribu hikmah daripada Allah. Sebagai pengajaran bagi yang hidup, bukanlah berkahwin itu yang menjadi faktor kematian. Atau memandu kereta berwarna merah. Tetapi peringatan bahawa kematian itu pasti datang bila-bila, yang muda atau yang tua. Di jalan raya atau di kompleks membeli belah atau di mana saja yang dikehenadi Allah. Yang pasti, tanya pada diri.... sudah bersediakah kita?

Lalu bagi mereka yang masih terlekat dan terikat dengan dunia, harus diingatkan. Dunia ini hanyalah medan ujian, destinasi pasti dan kekal abadi kita selepas ini adalah akhirat. Lantas, apa yang telah kita persiapkan di dunia ini untuk memilih tempat terbaik di akhirat nanti? Oh, kematian itu misteri buat kita. Tidak tahu bila. Tapi yang pasti, KEMATIAN SEMAKIN DEKAT. Persis bom masa yang semakin rancak berdetik akan meletup.

Lihatlah dunia dengan pandangan tembus ke akhirat!

Taken from (click): The Eternal Garden

Bahagia

2009-12-13T21:20:00.000+08:00

Kebahagiaan kita tidak terletak pada harta, tidak pada penampilan diri, tidak juga pada gemerlap perhiasaan dan keindahan dunia. Ukuran kebahagiaan terkait erat pada hati dan ruh manusia yang mendamba ridha Tuhannya.
-Hassan Al Banna-

Bingkisan Hati Nurani.

2009-12-13T12:09:00.010+08:00

Too many things going on in my life right now. Although I don't think those closest to me notice it much. Saja tak nak menyusahkan sesiapa. Hehe. But I guess when you keep it all bottled up to long, it causes you mental blocakage and emotional disturbances. Mainan perasaan sungguh!

***

Berita kematian datang silih berganti. Terasa macam Allah nak tarbiyah sesuatu yang berharga. Agaknya mungkin ajal saya dah makin dekat? Kalau ya, nak minta maaf awal-awal dekat pengunjung blog ni sebab selalu TAK menunaikan hak anda. Maybe korang datang sini mencari-cari sinar petunjuk di kala kabutnya hati tapi entah apa-apa je dapat.

***

Hebatnya akh tu. Moga Allah tempatkan dirinya dan ibu bapanya dikalangan mereka yang beriman dan beramal soleh, insyaAllah. Dengan kesibukan menguruskan kehidupan diri dan bertandangnya sanak saudara, masih tenang menerima amanah dakwah tanpa sedikit rungutan pun. Malu pada diri sendiri, lagi malu dekat Allah, apa je saya dah buat untuk kelangsungan jalan D&T ini? Nak present apa lah kat Allah nanti bila dah mati? Malu! =(

***

Akhlak saya perlukan improvement. Sangat-sangat susah nak betulkan akhlak, apatah lagi nak maintain akhlak yang baik. Selalu je tertipu dengan agenda barat yang selalu mewar-warkan tentang "attitude". Kononnya kalau kita appear in control and confident, we will earn the respect we are entitled to. Tapi Rasulullah sentiasa merendahkan dirinya bila berada bersama sahabat-sahabatnya, sedangkan Baginda tu Rasulullah! Rasulullah tau tak?! Tak berlagak pun. Saya yang entah apa-apa ni nak berlagak pulak.

Hari tu ada orang tegur, kata pergi program situ sini, tapi akhlak macam hampeh! Terus speechless. Tapi memang betul pun. Astagfirullah. Saya ni sebenarnya nak menegakkan point saya ke nak menegakkan point yang benar? Antara ego dan kebenaran, jangan tertipu dengan Encik SYAITAN!

***

My academic issues are putting an emotional burden on me. Causing my steps to be a bit sluggish. Gerak kerja macam tersekat-sekat. Selalu rasa tak mampu buat itu dan ini. Betullah kata akak S, pada hakikatnya bukan kemampuan kita tu yang tak hebat tapi mainan perasaan kita yang menyebabkan kita RASA tak mampu padahal sebenarnya kita mampu. Bukankah Allah dah janji Dia akan provide jalan keluar buat mereka yang bertaqwa?

***

Tapi susah betul la nak focus! Buat sikit benda ni terfikir benda tu, buat sikit benda tu terfikir benda ni. Waaaa. Ya Allah, grant me will power and concentration. Ya Allah, berkatilah waktu dan seluruh kehidupanku.

***

Pergantungan total hanya padaNya.
Harus yakin, Qiam pengubat jiwa.
Moga terus diberi kekuatan olehNya.
Ameen Ya Rabb Al-Amin.

Open Your Eyes

2009-12-11T22:49:00.010+08:00

Look around yourselves
Can't you see this wonder
Spread infront of you
The clouds floating by
The skies are clear and blue
Planets in their orbits
The moon and the sun
Such perfect harmony

Let's start questioning ourselves
Isn't this proof enough for us
Or are we so blind
To push it all aside?
No

We just have to
Open our eyes, our hearts, and minds
If we just look right to see the signs
We can't keep hiding from the truth
And let it take us by surprise

Protect us in the best way Allah
Guide us every single day Allah
Keep us close to You
Until the end of time

Look inside yourselves
Such a perfect order
Hiding in yourselves
Running in your veins
What about anger love and pain
And all the things you're feeling
Can you touch them with your hand?
So are they really there?

Lets start questioning ourselves
Isn't this proof enough for us?
Or are we so blind
To push it all aside?
No

When a baby's born
So helpless and weak
And you're watching him growing
So why deny what's in front of your eyes
The biggest miracle of life

Allah
You created everything
We belong to You
Ya Rabb we raise our hands
Forever we thank You
الحمد الله

Aku memilih jalan ini.

2009-12-09T22:28:00.006+08:00

"Jangan terkejut jika satu hari nanti mad'u kita pula menjadi murabbi kita.. Tapi itulah yang kita mahu, supaya orang yang kita bina menjadi lebih hebat daripada kita agar dengan itu Islam akan menang!" - memetik kata-kata seorang akak, tapi kata-katanya dah diubah suai sikit. Hehe.

Nah, sajak di bawah membuktikan bahawa kata akak itu benar dan nyatalah, sesungguhnya Islam itu mampu mengubah seorang manusia biasa menjadi insan yang luarbiasa. Subhannallah.

To my little sis, you have written from the purest of your heart and it has transcend my soul. Sepertinya awak menulis apa yang terbuku di hati akak juga. Galur hidup kita dan gaya fikiran kita hampir sama. Wahai adikku, moga terus tsabat dan laju berlari! =)

*****************

KERANA AKU MEMILIH

dahulu,
hidupku kosong.
gelap.
dead end.
apabila mengenal tarbiyah,
sedikit demi sedikit ada lubang cahaya.
nafas baru untuk hidup.
kerana itu aku memilih tarbiyah.

dahulu,
hidupku penuh dendam.
kesumat yang likat.
sangkaku, itulah matlamat hidup.
untuk membayar apa yg telah kuterima.
apabila mengenal tarbiyah,
aku kenal matlamat yg lebih jauh,
2:30
51:56
dendam kian terhakis,
sesak dadaku hilang,
bahagia datang,
kadang kala nostalgia menghinggap,
namun, bicara Allah memadam sedikit demi sedikit,
dan kerana itu aku memilih tarbiyah.

dahulu,
aku rasa wang itu segalanya,
aku marah tidak mendapat apa yang aku hajati,
geram.
bencikan kekurangan.
hati penuh noda.
apabila aku mengenal tarbiyah,
hatiku disucikan.
lapisan demi lapisan.
noda menipis.
setelah digosok dengan kekayaan dan kekurangan adalah milik Allah.
disabun dengan wang, pangkat, nama, harta adalah propaganda Yahudi.
diberus dengan hidupkanlah Islam dalam dirimu.
dilunturkan karat jahiliyah.
dilembutkan dengan pelembut mardhatillah.
dan kerana itu aku memilih tarbiyah.

dahulu,
fesyen itu ku sangka cantik.
yang mampu menarik perhatian manusia.
yang mempesonakan setiap gadis.
apabila mengenal tarbiyah,
perhatian manusia bukan lagi apa yang dikejar.
perhatian Dia yang didamba.
menghiasi diri dengan pakaian taqwa.
mengindahkan kamar dengan bicara zikrullah.
menghadirkan cinta hakiki memenuhi segenap penjuru.
dan kerana itu aku memilih tarbiyah.

dahulu,
aku begitu mengagungkan buku2 bahasa asing.
aku rasakan bergaya.
penuh style.
perlu dibaca.
ilmu penuh didada.
merasa hebat.lebih pandai daripada orang lain.
apabila aku mengenal tarbiyah,
betapa aku merasakan tanah mereka adalah tanah airku
AQ kitab teragung penuh mukjizat
buku-buku sahabat merupakan pembangkit jiwa.
buku-buku syuhada' menghidupkan roh.
buku-buku mujaddid meniupkan jihad agung.
dan kerana itu aku memilih tarbiyah.

dahulu,
bila berkumpul, bergosip,
bila bertemu, mengumpat,
bila bercakap, lagha.
apabila mengenal tarbiyah,
berkumpulnya kami, menyatukan hati.
bertemunya kami, memantapkan akidah.
pabila berbicara, hanya Allah subjek utama.
dan kerana itu aku memilih tarbiyah.

kini,
banyak rasa yang belum terjumpa.
mencari-cari sinar.
mengejar syurga.
berlari2 untuk syahid.
mampukah aku menjadi hamba celupan Allah?
adakah insan yg penuh berdosa ini diterima amalnya?
kerana cinta,
aku mahu dipayungi tarbiyah..

-Azna-

I Love You Fillah!

2009-12-06T23:27:00.001+08:00

Rasulullah SAW bersabda maksudnya: “Barangsiapa yang menjalin persaudaraan kerana Allah maka Allah akan meninggikan darjatnya di dalam syurga, tidak condong suatu apapun dalam amalannya”.

Berkata Abu Idris Al Khaulani kepada Muaz bin Jabal: “Sesungguhnya aku mencintai anda kerana Allah”.

Maka Muaz berkata: “Sampaikanlah berita gembira dan bergembiralah. Sesungguhnya aku telah mendengar daripada Rasulullah SAW bersabda: “Suatu kelompok manusia kelak akan memperoleh kursi di sekitar Arsy pada hari kiamat, wajah mereka bagaikan bulan purnama pada malam lailatul qadar, waktu itu manusia terkejut padahal mereka tidak merasa terkejut, dan manusia takut padahal mereka tidak merasa takut, mereka itu adalah Auliya Allah yang tidak pernah takut terhadap mereka (musuh-musuh Allah) dan tidak pernah merasa khuatir”. Kemudian aku bertanya: “Siapakah mereka itu ya Rasulullah ?” Baginda menjawab: “Mereka adalah yang berkasih sayang kerana Allah”.

(Riwayat Ahmad dan Hakim)

Finding the light again.. =)

2009-12-03T07:23:00.007+08:00

The Hijab Martyr (click): Justice is served. May Allah rest her soul in peace and amongst the Mukmineens. I would like to meet you someday, in paradise insyaAllah.

Every time you feel like you cannot go on
You feel so lost
And that you're so alone
All you is see is night
And darkness all around
You feel so helpless
You can't see which way to go
Don't despair and never loose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side

Insha Allah x3
Insya Allah you'll find your way

Every time you can make one more mistake
You feel you can't repent
And that its way too late
You're so confused, wrong decisions you have made
Haunt your mind and your heart is full of shame

Don't despair and never loose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side
Insha Allah x3
Insya Allah you'll find your way
Insha Allah x3
Insya Allah you'll find your way

Turn to Allah
He's never far away
Put your trust in Him
Raise your hands and pray

O Allah,
Guide my steps don't let me go astray
You're the only one that showed me the way

Showed me the way x3
Insha Allah x3
Insya Allah we'll find the way

Allah Knows

2009-12-03T00:00:00.005+08:00

"Sesungguhnya Allah telah membeli dari orang-orang beriman, diri dan harta mereka dengan memberikan syurga untuk mereka." At-Taubah [9 : 111]

Tadi berpeluang duduk lutut bertemu lutut dengan adik-beradik akhawati saya yang saya kasihi kerana Allah. Tak semua orang dapat datang hari ni. Tapi dengan kekurangan ahli tu pun.. tak tau kenapa rasa syahdu sangat perjumpaan tadi.

Minggu ni memang sangat banyak ujian yang Allah beri. Malunya nak cerita sebab bila teringat Bilal yang dihempapkan batu ke atas dadanya tapi masih tetap dengan "Ahad!"nya, bila teringatkan Rasulullah yang dibaling batu ketika di Taif sedangkan ketika itu usia baginda sudah agak lanjut, bila teringatkan Siti Khadijah yang menginfaqkan seluruh jiwa, raga dan hartanya untuk membantu suaminya menegakkan Ad-Deen Ul-Haq semata-mata kerana yakin itulah jalan menuju redhaNya... rasa macam tak layak nak complain dekat Allah itu dan ini. Rasa macam jadi hamba yang tak bersyukut dan kufur nikmat! Astagfirullah.

Tapi sesungguhnya, Allah memang Maha Mengetahui. Setiap butir bicara mereka yang hadir tadi seolah-olah menusuk kalbu, membelai hati, mengusik jiwa lalu meniupkan semula semangat itu kembali. Tiba-tiba rasa macam special sangat. Sebab Allah masih memilih untuk berjual beli dengan saya.

Ya, Allah.. dalam banyaknya dosa-dosaku dan tenggelamnya aku dalam jahiliyahku, Kau masih memberi aku merasai nikmatnya Iman itu. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah.

Jual beli apa? Diri dan harta!

Menyerahkan seluruh jiwa dan raga supaya nanti dapat meraih syurga Allah dan yang lebih berharga dari itu, redha Allah.

Penyiksaan itu seiring dengan pengorbanan jiwa. Allah sudah semestinya tahu betapa peritnya hati kita, betapa susahnya berdepan dengan arus duniawi yang sangat-sangat meruntun semangat juang kita. Tapi disitulah letaknya erti sebenar pengorbanan. Sejauh mana kita sanggup berkorban untuk Allah? Sejauh mana kita sanggup meletakkan suruhan Allah itu melebihi keinginan diri kita sendiri walaupun diri kita yang terkorban?

Masa.. Jiwa... Akal... Harta... Nyawa...

Allah akan terus uji dan uji dan uji. Sehingga pengorbanan kita itu setimpal dengan kemenangan yang akan dijanjikan kelak, be it kesenangan di dunia ataupun syurga di akhirat kelak.

Pada ketika itu dan hanya pada ketika itulah kita layak menutut kemengan itu daripadaNya!

Satu kisah dahulu

2009-12-02T19:35:00.004+08:00

Manisnya tarbiyah ini, sukar diungkapkan buat mereka yang tidak pernah melalui dan memahami. Moga Allah buka hati kalian juga suatu hari nanti, agar kita layak bertemu dan bertamu di syurga kelak.

-Arifah-

*********************

salam,

alhamdulillah. saya kembali lagi…

Alhamdulillah hari ini adalah hari terakhir aku di wad surgery/pembedahan setelah 4 bulan bertarung di dalamnya..

Terkadang aku tertanya pada diriku sendiri..

Does it worth to sacrifice my time and energy for this work?

Korbankan program , follow up adik-adik, spend masa dengan mereka dan sebagainya. Selalu sedih sebab tak dapat hadiri usrah sendiri lantaran terpaksa kerja di hujung minggu. ( On call weekend setiap 3 minggu). Dan bila balik kerja penat, nak tidur sahaja.. tentu tak dapat nak buat begitu bila ada banyak perkara perlu dilaksanakan waktu malam.. bila tidur lewat, selalu sangat penat time kerja, dan banyak kali saya tertidur time kerja sebab terlalu letih.

Antara perkara yang paling saya rindui adalah mempunyai masa tertentu saya untuk membaca buku yang tentu dapat memalingkan hati saya semula kepada landasan al-haq selepas seharian terpaksa berurusan dengan manusia yang tidak mentauhidkan Allah.

Terkadang sedih rasanya sebab tak mampu nak mengiklankan agama Allah ini kepada teman sekerjaku apatah lagi pesakit yang kutemui. Cukuplah pakaian dan akhlakku menjadi tonjolan peribadiku. Namun tentu kita semua tahu, orang takkan tahu pasal Islam jika kita kunci mulut kita selama-lamanya. Sedangkan Rasulullah yang memiliki akhlak Al-Amin terpaksa membuka mulut beliau menyampaikan risalah Islam, apatah lagi kita. Kerana Islam perlu didakwahkan, bukan sekadar ditonjolkan pada peribadi.

Terkadang malu juga nak ceritakan kehidupan sebenar saya yang amat struggle ini. Tapi saya tahu, korang tahu yang saya ini manusia biasa yang memang tak mampu jadi perfect. Namun menjadi manusia biasa ini menjadikan kita ini equal, dan saya rasa gembira bile adik2 saya semuanya sedar yang saya ini manusia biasa sahaja…

‘ok kak, sekarang ini saya dah jadi murabbi akak, so better akak tinggalkan benda tu ok?’

Nak tergelak bila borak dengan seorang adikku ini. Dah dua orang adik claim nak jadi murabbi saya. Dan mereka itulah anak binaan saya sendiri. Betullah orang terdahulu pernah mengatakan pada saya..

‘ Jangan terkejut bila anak usrah awak sendiri akan mengusrahkan awak satu masa nanti..’

Dan saya tak terkejut, malah rasa bersyukur dan bangga dengan mereka. Alhamdulillah, dengan merekalah saya dapat istiqamah dan istimrar dengan Islam ini walaupun terpaksa melalui lautan jahiliyah yang pekat saban hari…

( itulah, walaupun saya terpaksa deal benda2 duniawi kat hospital, tapi alhamdulillah, Allah selalu buat otak saya terfikirkan agenda-agenda dakwah time kerja. So kalau selalu down je, terus ingat balik kenapalah kena bekerja ini..- walaupun banyak kali fikir nak berhenti… WA!!!!!!!!!!!!!kan best kalau dapat buat dakwah jer!! Astaghfirulah… tapi kalau buat dakwah je, takdelah kita akan jadi manusia luar biasakan? )

Kerana itulah aim kita dalam mentarbiyah manusia : untuk menjadikan mereka lebih baik dari diri kita sendiri. Memang sangat kasihan juga adik2 saya selalu dikenakan bagai nak separuh mati kadang-kadang, walaupun tak semua dapat dos yang sama kerana kefahaman mereka berbeza-beza. Alhamdulillah, Allah kurniakan taufiq buat mereka untuk jadi permata buat dakwah dan Islam. Tentu melihat mereka menjadikan aku sering tersenyum kegembiraan apabila aku melihat ramainya manusia yang lahir dari rahim tarbiyah ini muassir-muassir ( manusia yang memberi kesan pada orang lain) yang menjadi magnet bagi manusia lain.

Setelah lama di atas jalan dakwah ini juga, aku juga belajar bahawa, kita mungkin tidak akan selamanya memperolehi kemanisan mengenal Islam dan tarbiyah sewaktu kita mula-mula mengenalnya dahulu...

Walaupun dahulu jarak aku dengan murabbi dan teman seusrahku amat jauh, dan kami cuma berjumpa sebulan sekali dalam usrah, tapi aku masih ingat tatkala Allah masih mengurniakan aku peluang untuk mendengar juga tausiyah di balik corong telefon sambil menitiskan air mata..

Entah kenapa, setiap kali aku seorang sahaja yang tak berada di hadapan ustaz ataupun naqibah untuk mendengar taujih secara berdepan itu, tentu aku akan rasa amat syahdu dan sedih. Sedih kerana tak dapat nak mendapat pahala menatap wajah orang yang mengajariku tentang Islam. Sedih kerana aku amat merasai cahaya Islam itu menerebos relung jiwaku, namun di sekelilingku tiada siapa dapat aku pegang dan peluk tubuhnya, merasai indahnya Islam… ( dan tentu time sesi qadhaya tak dapat nak join sebab semua orang cakap at the same time, lepas tu lost siapa yang sedang bercakap, sebab saya sorang je on the phone. Paling sedih tak dapat nak tanya soalan direct kat ustaz…)

Namun Alhamdulillah. Mungkin kerana kepayahan itulah menjadikan tarbiyah yang kulalui itu amat manis dan amat kuhargai. Aku masih ingat aku pernah juga buat kerja gi** yang tak pernah dibuat orang. ( walaupun difikirkan logik je nak buat semua benda tu.)

Hari itu hari Jumaat. Pagi itu aku baru tahu ada sesi pengisian dengan ustaz di Leeds. Sabtu itu memang aku plan nak menziarahi adik2 aku di Notts ( yang kini sudah berada di Malaysia dan sedang beramai-ramai walimah- alhamdulillah). Tiket sudah dibeli ke Notts.Sepatutnya memang ada liqa bersama ahli-ahli usrahku di situ pada hujung minggu itu. ( boleh bayangkan tak betapa jauhnya kami from each other?)

Tapi memandangkan keinginan yang membuak-buak untuk ke Leeds, aku mengambil keputusan untuk bergerak juga ke Leeds menaiki bas keseorangan dari Dundee ( 7 jam).

Aku tak tahu apa daya penarik aku di tika itu?

Sebab nak kawan ke?

Sebab rasa bosan duduk di Dundee ke apa?

Aku masih ingat lagi di tika itu waktu aku sampai, agak lewat juga, alhamdulillah, ustaz baru je mula membentangkan Muntalaq bab 1 dan 2. Aku amat ingat setiap bait patah katanya di waktu itu walaupun tiadanya pen dan kertas di saat itu.Sebab aku memang tak tahu ustaz nak bentangkan apa dan di waktu itu memang kuliah umum yang ramai adik2 datang.

Tapi di waktu itulah aku amat sangat merasai..

manisnya berada di bawah basahan siraman tarbiyah. Bacaan ayat per ayat dalam muntalaq itu cukup membuat aku menangis dan menginsafi setiap dosaku… ( ceh… cam skema plak… tapi memang rasa cam insaflah.. pernah tak rasa insaf? Seolah-olah rasa hati tiba-tiba bersih dan cahaya mula terasa di hati….)..

kalaulah kerana kawan, memang aku sangat happy jumpa ramai adik2 leeds saat itu ( nawwar insyirah , little moon,cik mala, roza,dina dan koca takde lagi kot masa ini), tapi ramai yang kene pulang awal saat itu. Dan aku tak sempat nak berbual dengan teman seusrah aku pun di saat itu.

tapi bukan kerana itu pun…

tapi memang sebab kita sangat faham, kerana tarbiyah itulah makanan dan nyawa kita….

( saya datang program itu untuk 2 jam sahaja)

Malamnya itu terus bergerak ke Notts bersama naqibah aku yang hadiri juga program itu. Bila aku sudah menjadi doktor ini, aku amat mengkagumi dirinya yang merupakan pakar Obs and Gynae , tapi mampu juga hadiri program seperti itu. Dia menghantarku ke rumah adik DFku pada pukul hampir 2 am. Esoknya itu aku berjalan-jalan dengan adik DFku dan keesokannya aku dan teman seusrahku berkumpul bersama naqibahku bersama liqa usbui’ kami sebelum aku pulang semula ke kampung halamanku pada hari ahad itu……

Kenapa saya cerita perkara ini pada kamu semua?

Kerana ia berlaku pada 4 tahun lepas. Dan selepas itu, sudah tidak saya rasa lagi perkara itu. Merasai manisnya jirusan iman itu bila kita berkobar-kobar mahu mendapatkannya..

Kerana sudah tidak ada siapa yang mahu memberi lagi pada kita bersungguh-sungguh seperti mana dahulunya orang beria-ia mengajak kita..

Sebab kita sudah menjadi qiyadah/pemimpin/murabbi teratas di tempat kita..dan tiada yang dapat menjaga diri kita melainkan diri kita sendiri..

Di situlah letaknya ketsabatan sebuah kefahaman.

Kita takkan faham selagi kita tak diuji.

Kita bukan sekadar diuji dari sudut mad’u kita, ataupun diuji dari pihak orang ramai ( mahupun mak ayah kita) kerana dakwah yang kita bawa..

kita akan diuji dari sudut tarbiyah kita sendiri..

Kerana semakin tinggi tingkatan seseorang dalam tarbiyah, semakin banyak tanggungjawab yang mereka ada, dan semakin sibuk diri mereka. Kita tak boleh menyalahkan sesiapa kerana setiap seorang ada sisi dakwah yang amat besar disumbangkan..

Kerana itulah orang yang berpengalaman dalam dakwah mengajar kita,

semakin tinggi marhalah seseorang dalam tarbiyah, semakin tinggi tarbiyah dzatiyahnya, dan semakin kuranglah tarbiyah jamiyah ( usrah , daurah dan sebagainya).

Kenapa saya cerita perkara ini pada kamu semua?

kerana kebanyakan dari kamu baru mengenal tarbiyah dan manisnya menanggalkan jahiliyah dan memakai pakaian Islam ini.

Terkadang peluang terbentang di hadapan kamu untuk menghirup hidayah itu sepuas-puasnya, tapi kita terkadang kita terlepas pandang peluang yang terbentang di hadapan kita itu.. ( walaupun saya tahu kamu tidak berbuat demikian).

Kerana peluang itu mungkin datang sekali sahaja..

Sekali sahaja…

Sebab saya tahu, adik2 generasi seterusnya dah tak buat dah perkara sebegitu. Travel lebih 5-6 jam untuk dengar pengisian sejam dua, lepas tu pulang semula ke tempat asal sebab ada kelas esok harinya.

Bila tarbiyah dah senang, kuranglah penghargaan dan kuranglah pengorbanan. Hasilnya, akan terhasillah kefahaman yang di atas permukaan sahaja ( surface) dan kuranglah keberkatan yang ada..

kerana setiap jihad yang kita lakukan untuk mendapat ilmu itu mengandungi keberkatan yang tak terkira..

Kerana berbeza orang yang travel 5-6 jam untuk dengar pengisian daripada 30 minit sahaja perjalanan dia.. kefahaman yang dia dapat tentu berbeza.. apatah lagi keberkatan ilmunya.. ( kita tahu kisah imam syafiie dan bukhari yang travel beribu kilometer untuk kumpul sebuah hadis pun kan?)

Dan disitulah juga saya melihat dengan anehnya bagaimana ramai orang terdahulu mampu tsabat walaupun mereka teruji dengan ujian tarbiyah ini…

Namun saya tahu, disitulah kunci segala kejayaan yang ada… Keikhlasan…

Imam Hasan al Banna mengatakan, “Ikhlas itu kunci keberhasilan.”

Menurut Al-Banna, para salafushalih tidak menang kecuali karena kekuatan iman, kebersihan hati dan keikhlasan mereka.

“Bila kalian sudah memiliki tiga karakter tersebut, maka ketika engkau berpikir, Allah akan mengilhamimu petunjuk dan bimbingan. Jika engkau beramal, maka Allah akan mendukungmu dengan kemampuan dan keberhasilan…”

‘Tapi bila ada di antara kalian yang hatinya sakit, cita-citanya lumpuh, diselimuti oleh motif sikap ego (tanda tidak ikhlas), masa lalunya pun penuh masalah, maka keluarkan ia dari barisanmu! Karena orang seperti itulah yang akan menghalangi rahmat dan taufik Allah. “ (Al-Awai’q, Muhammad Ahmad Rasyid)

Maka bila peluang tarbiyah itu datang, grablah ia sepenuh jiwa kamu..

Kerana kamu akan sampai di satu saat, dimana kamu akan berada di tempat saya.

Dan sentiasa merindui saat itu..

saat detik pertama merasai manisnya tarbiyah itu..

PS: saya cerita ini nak kasi kamu motivasi dan aware apa yang berlaku pada ramainya orang. Setiap ujian yang Allah berikan buat kita adalah untuk meneguhkan kita dan untuk kebaikan kita juga sebenarnya. Dan kita semua tahu, setiap kesusahan tu pasti ada kemudahan.. DAn kesusahan sementara yang kita dapat inilah akan memudahkan perjalanan kita seterusnya insyaallah.

moga kita semua tsabat dan teguh di jalan ini,

wassalam

muharikah (click for direct link)

Usaha, doa dan tawakkal

2009-12-02T15:36:00.005+08:00

"Katanya dia ingin masa untuk berfikir," jelasku pada abah.

"Benda macam ni, kita hanya boleh doa dan tawakkal pada Allah," abah memberi jawapan ringkas.

Doa dan tawakkal. Bagi saya, perkara yang senang untuk diungkapkan, tapi amat susah untuk merasai and menyakini kebenarannya. Masakan dengan hanya berkata-kata, sesuatu masaalah itu boleh dirungkaikan?

Tapi disitulah letaknya penyerahan diri secara total kepada Qada' dan Qadar Allah. Yakinnya kita pada apa yang sudah tertulis dalam KalamNya.

Jadi, bagaimana pula dengan usaha? Kita tidak perlu usahalah maknanya kan?

Jauh sekali begitu yang dimaksudkan. Secara sunatullah, seharusnya kita yakin bahawa usaha tiada kaitan dengan natijah. Namun, usaha itulah yang mendatangkan pahala untuk kita dan melayakkkan diri kita untuk mendapat pertolonganNya.

Usaha yang sebenar-benar usaha itulah yang akan membuahkan tawakkal yang dicari. Belum cukup usaha, pasti kita akan rasa seperti tiada berguna tawakkal yang ada.

Maka, berusahalah, berdoalah dan bertawakkallah. Jangan tinggalkan salah satu seolah-olah kita menolak hakikat sunatullah itu sendiri!

Wallahu'alam.

Diciptakan

2009-12-02T14:50:00.007+08:00

Maafkan diri ini yang selalu menyakiti hati,
Maafkan diri ini yang terlalu banyak kelemahan,
Maafkan diri ini yang tidak mampu membuktikan pada saat ini,
Apakah benar segala kata yang pernah diucapkan,
Memang tidak layak menagih.

Seolah-olah masa yang berlalu kini bagai satu kepura-puraan,
Meniti galur kasih yang kian sepi,
Salah diri yang tidak tahu menjaga hati,
Membiarkan badai hitam membawa diri berlalu pergi.

Maruah diri seorang mukmin letaknya pada iman,
Bukan pada pangkat, harta dan rawan.

Tahu, tahu semua itu,
Tapi mengapa sangat sukar menggapai hakikat keimanan itu?
Masih ada waktukah untuk kita memutarkan kembali?
Agar diri layak meraih redha Ilahi.

Pengorbanan.. hakikat cinta sebenar yang hakiki.
Kepercayaan.. atas satu ikatan yang suci.
Hanya padaMu aku berserah diri.
Ya Rabbi!

Bila kau memandang segalanya dari Tuhanmu, yang menciptakan segalanya, yang menimpakan ujian, yang menjadikan sakit hatimu, yang membuatkan keinginanmu terhalang serta menyusahkan hidupmu, pasti akan damailah hatimu kerana masakan Allah segaja mentakdrikan segalanya untuk sesuatu yang sia-sia. Bukan Allah tidak tahu deritanya hidupmu, retaknya hatimu tapi mungkin itulah yang Dia mahukan kerana Dia tahu hati yang sebeginilah selalunya lebih lunak dan mudah untuk akrab dan dekat denganNya..

Please.

2009-12-01T22:06:00.003+08:00

Hati saya tengah sakit.
O Allah, please help me get through this.

Apabila Allah mentakdirkan kita untuk terjebak dalam jalan ini.. Dia menjanjikan seribu macam ujian, halangan, duka.. Dia menuntut air mata yang tumpah keranaNya, Dia menuntut pengorbanan yang dilakukan kerana jalanNya. Dia menyedarkan kita tentang kepentingan risalah yang melebihi segala apa pun dalam dunia ini.. Dia mahu kita meletakkan Dia di tempat teratas, yang lainnya kedua, ketiga, keempat..

Saya macam fail lagi jek,
nak letak Allah di tempat teratas semalam.
Haiyooo~

Baitul Muslim

2009-11-30T08:23:00.004+08:00

Hmm.. rasa dakwah sangat-sangat memerlukan kepada Baitul Muslim dua indivdu yang betul-betul faham... bukan dua individu yang betul-betul mahu.

Sejauh mana kita betul-betul memahami hakikat keimanan?

Mari, teruskan mujahadah mencari erti hidup sebagai hambaNya!

Khilaf Diri

2009-11-28T20:20:00.004+08:00

Daei juga manusia.
Manusia yang berhati dan perasaan.
Manusia yang lemah dan bernafsu.
Manusia yang ada sifat amarah.
Manusia yang setiap masa dihasut syaitan.

Ampunkan kekhilafan diri ini.
Aku hanya insan biasa.
Aku lemah..
='(

Aku Hamba

2009-11-27T19:42:00.003+08:00

Salam AidilAdha kepada semua saudara-saudara seiman yang saya kasihi. Cantiknya susunan Allah, malam semalam saya mentadabbur Surah Al-Saffat, dan menemui kisah ini. Maka saya ingin menuliskannya untuk kawan-kawan yang tidak sempat menatapnya sendiri.

“Dan Ibrahim berkata, ‘Sesungguhnya aku pergi menghadap kepada Tuhanku, dan Dia akan memberi petunjuk kepadaku.’ ” (Al-Saffat : ayat 99)

“Ya Tuhanku, anugerahkanlah kepadaku (seorang anak) yang termasuk orang-orang yang soleh.” (Al-Saffat: ayat 100)

“Maka Kami beri dia khabar gembira dengan seorang anak yang amat sabar.” (Al-Saffat: ayat 101)

“Maka tatkala anak itu sampai (pada umur yang sanggup) berusaha bersama-sama Ibrahim, Ibrahim berkata: ‘Wahai anakku, sesungguhnya aku melihat dalam mimpi bahawa aku menyembelihmu. Maka fikirkanlah apa pendapatmu!’, Dia menjawab ‘Wahai ayahku, kerjakanlah apa yang diperintahkan kepadamu, inshaAllah kamu akan mendapatiku termasuk orang-orang yang sabar.’ “ (Al-Saffat: ayat 102)

“Tatkala kedua-duanya telah berserah diri dan Ibrahim membaringkan anaknya atas di atas tengkuk(nya), (nyatalah kesabaran kedua-duanya)” (Al-Saffat: ayat 103)

“Dan Kami panggillah dia: ‘Wahai Ibrahim, ” (Al-Saffat: ayat 104)

“Sesungguhnya kamu telah membenarkan mimpi itu, sesungguhnya demikianlah Kami memberi balasan kepada orang-orang yang berbuat baik.” (Al-Saffat: ayat 105)

“Sesungguhnya ini benar-benar suatu ujian yang nyata.” (Al-Saffat: ayat 106)

“Dan Kami tebus anak itu dengan seekor sembelihan yang besar.” (Al-Saffat: ayat 107)

“Kami abadikan untuk Ibrahim itu (pujian yang baik) di kalangan orang-orang yang datang kemudian.” (Al-Saffat: ayat 108)

“iaitu: ‘Kesejahteraan dilimpahkan atas Ibrahim’ ” (Al-Saffat: ayat 109)

“Demikianlah Kami memberi balasan kepada orang-orang yang berbuat baik.” (Al-Saffat : ayat 110)

“Sesungguhnya dia termasuk hamba-hamba Kami yang beriman.” (Al-Saffat: ayat 111)

Inilah kisah Nabi Ibrahim dan Nabi Ismail, Allah ceritakan untuk kita ‘orang-orang yang datang kemudian’. Begitu benarnya dan tulusnya ucapan-ucapan dari bibir mereka, hingga Allah mengabadikan dialog perbualan antara mereka berdua di dalam Al-Quran untuk kita pelajari dan selami. Memetik kata-kata Nabi Ismail yang masih muda, yang Allah mengiyakannya sebagai ‘anak yang amat sabar’, mempamerkan keimanan setanding ayahnya..

‘..Wahai ayahku, kerjakanlah apa yang diperintahkan kepadamu, inshaAllah kamu akan mendapatiku termasuk orang-orang yang sabar.’ (Apalah pula agaknya nilai kata-kata yang keluar dari bibir kita? Recording in progress by Rokib & Atid..)

Nabi Ibrahim dan Nabi Ismail membuktikan penyerahan diri yang penuh kepada Allah SWT. Seseorang yang menyerahkan dan menundukkan jiwanya, jasadnya, hartanya, hidupnya dan segala-gala yang dimiliki untuk Allah, itulah dia seorang Muslim. Telah nampak hakikat kehambaan yang sejati dalam kisah ini. Bahawa sang hamba tidak ada pilihan kecuali untuk taat patuh secara tulus kepada Tuhannya, walau apapun yang terjadi. Ini suatu teladan kehambaan yang mesti ditiru setiap orang beriman yang berjuang mengejar darjat kehambaan, merasa bahawa Allah itu Maha Agung dalam hatinya.

Dan tidak ada jalan lain untuk merasa hamba, melainkan dengan taat yang total, tanpa soal, tanpa takut-takut dan tanpa ragu kepada setiap perintah Tuhannya – seperti Ibrahim, seperti Ismail dan tidak lupa, seperti ibu Nabi Ismail, Hajar ketika ia akur ditinggalkan di tengah-tengah gurun dahulu.

Kerana itu, Allah membuat persaksian, satu pengisytiharan yang mulia dalam ayat seterusnya,
“Sesungguhnya dia termasuk hamba-hamba Kami yang beriman.” (Al-Saffat: ayat 111)

Hebatnya pengorbanan mereka, Allah mengabadikan kisah keluarga ini - percakapannya, perlakuannya bahkan lokasinya dalam ibadah haji dan korban, serta dijadikan hari raya AidilAdha. Supaya setiap Muslim akan bercermin kepada Nabi Ibrahim dan Nabi Ismail pada setiap tahun.

Ia bukan sekadar tentang ritual ibadah atau adat berhari raya. Ini kisah kehambaan, kisah ketaatan dan kisah kecintaan kepada Allah SWT. Moga kita dapat membangun semangat dan jiwa kehambaan persis Nabi Ibrahim dan Ismail dalam hidup kita sehari-hari.

~Halwa Hati~ (click for direct link)

Hakikat Bahagia

2009-11-26T00:48:00.003+08:00

Akak ChooMy,
Best dapat curhat dengan akak tadi. Tiba-tiba rasa macam baru kenal akak yang sebenar. Hehe. Apalah kita ni, kata 'adik-beradik' kan? Tapi baru nak kenal diri masing-masing.

Hmm, bukan senang kan nak terus tsabat. Nak melawan arus duniawi yang sentiasa mengheret kita ke arah kebinasaan.. Kalau kita tak ada sisters kita yang sentiasa mengalirkan kekuatan pada kita.

Saya bertuah, kak, sebab saya ada akak yang sentiasa doakan saya. Saya bertuah, kak, sebab ada sisters yang sentiasa mengharapkan yang terbaik untuk saya. Doa yang tak putus-putus daripada sisters-sisters saya yang solehah wa muslehah lah yang menguatkan saya setiap hari.

Kadang-kadang saya terlupa perkara ni. Kadang-kadang saya rasa lonely (padahal saya sentiasa ada Allah!). Huhu. Itulah syaitan memang pandai mencucuk-cucuk. Siaplah syaitan, kat akhirat nanti, kita sorak ramai-ramai sebab dia masuk neraka. Moga Allah izinkan kita masuk syurga...

Saya tak tahu lah kenapa saya tiba-tiba tulis entry yang cali (ni bahasa brunei) ni, tapi saya nak akak tau satu benda yang sangat penting.. saya sangat, sangat, sangat sayannnnggggg kan akak fillah!

Kita support and doakan each other, occay? =)

Bahagia itu dari dalam diri
Kesannya zahir rupanya maknawi
Terpendam bagai permata di dasar hati

Bahagia itu ada pada hati
Bertakhta di kerajaan diri
Terbenam bagai mutiara di lautan nurani

Bahagia itu ada di jiwa
Mahkota di singgahsana rasa
Bahagia itu adalah suatu ketenangan

Bila susah tiada gelisah
Bila miskin syukur pada Tuhan
Bila sakit tiada resah di jiwa
Bukankah Tuhan telah berfirman
Ketahuilah dengan mengingati Allah
Jiwa kan menjadi tenang

Kebahagiaan itu suatu kesyukuran
Bila kaya jadi insan pemurah
Bila berkuasa amanah
Bila berjaya tidak alpa
Bila sihat tidak lupakan Tuhan

Hakikatnya bahagia itu
Adalah ketenangan
Bila hati mengingati Tuhan

Semua insan kan mengerti
Maksud terseni Ilahi
Itulah zikir yang hakiki

Of hope dan faith

2009-11-25T01:19:00.009+08:00

Life, they say, is full of ups and downs. Today you are happy, tomorrow full of sorrows. The wheels of existence churning the naked truth of reality only to prove that what doesn't kill you, will only make you stronger.

The challenge that we face each day, to move forward with hope that what ever we do today will bring the best out of tomorrow.

But hope, is always like the kindling flame of a candlelight fire. Real but small, most often covered within the shadows of doubt. You can hope, but you can never be too sure.

So, how then do we survive this torment of evil thoughts? Of the fear, that hope will only make the disappointment and grief of dejection even more apparent than it would have appeared to be, amplified to a thousand degree.

To have trust. To have faith.

Say: "He is my Lord! There is no god but He!
In Him I put my trust, and to Him I shall return."
[Ar-Ra`d 13:30]

Kalau bukan padaNya, pada siapa lagi mampu disandarkan peritnya hati ini?

Bukankah ujian itu petanda bahawa tingkatan iman kita sedang diberi peluang untuk diangkat ke darjat yang lebih tinggi dari yang sebelumnya?

Takut. Tipu kalau tak takut. Siapa nak ujian susah-susah. Kalau boleh, nak hidup kat dunia ni senang-lenang goyang kaki. Mati nanti terus masuk syurga.

Tapi kalau kita menolak ujian, tak rasa ke kita macam menipu diri sendiri? Ingat senang ke nak masuk syurga? (Waaa, ganazz nye.. =P)

Sampai bila nak berada pada tahap ni? Oh, kalau Allah masih bagi peluang dengan datangnya ujian demi ujian demia ujian tak pe lagi, tapi kalau Allah terus matikan hati untuk merasai nikmatnya iman... aduh, jauhkanlah Ya Allah! Tak mauuuuu...

Langkah harus terus laju. Hati harus tekad. Keyakinan harus teguh, hanya pada Allah. Yakin bahawa apa pun yang bakal terjadi nanti, adalah yang terbaik yang telah digariskan buat diri.

"Inilah jalanku! Aku dan orang-orang yang mengikutiku
mengajak kepada Allah dengan hujjah yang nyata."
[Yusuf, 12:108]

Have complete faith. There is no turning back!

"Lets have faith that right makes might;
and in that faith let us, to the end,
dare to do our duty as we understand it."
- Abraham Lincoln

Rahmat Ujian

2009-11-23T23:23:00.005+08:00

Dalam derita ada bahagia
Dalam gembira mungkin terselit duka
Tak siapa tahu
Tak siapa pinta ujian bertamu

Bibir mudah mengucap sabar
Tapi hatilah yang remuk menderita
Insan memandang
Mempunyai berbagai tafsiran

Segala takdir
Terimalah dengan hati yang terbuka
Walau terseksa ada hikmahnya

Harus ada rasa bersyukur
Di setiap kali ujian menjelma
Itu jelasnya membuktikan
Allah mengasihimu setiap masa
Diuji tahap keimanan
Sedangkan ramai terbiar dilalaikan
Hanya yang terpilih sahaja
Antara berjuta mendapat rahmatNya

Allah rindu mendengarkan
Rintihanmu berpanjangan
Bersyukurlah dan tabahlah menghadapi

Segala takdir
Terimalah dengan hati yang terbuka
Walau terseksa ada hikmahnya

Allah rindu mendengarkan
Rintihanmu berpanjangan
Bersyukurlah dan tabahlah menghadapi
Segala ujian diberi
Maka bersyukurlah selalu

*Sedang mencari ilham untuk menulis. Writer's block for the past few weeks. Asyik copy-paste je. Hoho. Doakan! Ayuh terus mujahadah.

Milik siapa hati ini... Allah!

2009-11-21T00:36:00.006+08:00

Wahai Bakal Suamiku,

Aku bukanlah seorang gadis yang cerewet dalam memilih pasangan hidup. Siapalah diriku ini untuk memilih berlian sedangkan aku hanya sebutir pasir yang wujud di mana-mana. Tetapi aku juga punyai keinginan seperti gadis lain, dilamar lelaki yang bakal dinobat sebagai ahli syurga, memimpinku ke arah tuju yang satu. Tidak perlu kau memiliki wajah seindah Nabi Yusuf A.S yang mampu mendebarkan jutaan gadis untuk membuatku terpikat. Andainya kaulah jodohku yang tertulis di Luh Mahfuz, Allah pasti mencampakkan rasa kasih di dalam hatiku, jua hatimu. Itu janji Allah. Akan tetapi, selagi kita tidak diikat dengan ikatan yang sah, selagi itu jangan kau zahirkan perasaanmu itu kepadaku kerana kau masih tidak mempunyai hak untuk berbuat begitu. Juga jangan kau lampaui batasan yang telah ditetapkan syara’. Aku takut perlakuanmu itu akan memberi impak yang tidak baik dalam kehidupan kita kelak. Permintaanku tidak banyak, cukuplah dirimu yang diinfak seluruhnya pada mencari redha Ilahi.

Aku akan berasa amat bertuah andai dapat menjadi tiang seri ataupun sandaran perjuanganmu. Bahkan aku amat bersyukur pada Ilahi kiranya akulah yang ditakdirkan meniup semangat juangmu, menghulurkan tanganku untuk berpaut sewaktu rebah atau tersungkur di medan yang dijanjikan Allah dengan kemenangan atau syahid itu. Akan aku kesat darah dari lukamu dengan tanganku sendiri. Itulah impianku. Aku pasti berendam airmata darah andainya engkau menyerahkan seluruh cintamu padaku. Bukan itu yang aku impikan. Cukuplah kau mencintai Allah dengan sepenuh hatimu. Kerana dengan mencintai Allah kau akan mencintaiku kerana-Nya. Cinta itu lebih abadi dari cinta insan biasa. Moga cinta itu juga yang akan mempertemukan kita kembali di syurga.

Aku juga tidak ingin dilimpahi kemewahan dunia. Cukuplah dengan kesenangan yang telah diberikan ibubapaku dulu. Apa guna kau menimbun harta untuk kemudahanku sekiranya harta itu membuatkan kau lupa pada tanggungjawabmu terhadap agamamu. Aku tidak akan sekali-kali bahagia melihatmu begitu. Biarlah kita hidup di bawah jaminan Allah sepenuhnya. Itu lebih bermakna bagiku.

Dariku,

Bakal isterimu

(Extracted from www.iluvislam.com)

"...In Him I place my trust,
and all those who trust should trust in Him alone.” [12:67]

Blog

2009-11-13T21:57:00.005+08:00

Salam,

I would like to share my other blog with everyone - Islam Is Beautiful. It has actually been started since 2007 but rarely updated. Now, insyaAllah I will try to update it frequently. I will be posting spiritual stuff that has touched my heart there. Most of it might be articles or blog entries written by other people. Occasionally when it strikes me, I might write something myself, if I haven't already posted it here. Hehe. Do have a look if you're up to some enlightenment of the soul! ;)

Yours truly.

Kekuatan itu dari Allah!

2009-11-09T21:00:00.009+08:00

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

Segala puji bagi Allah yang telah memberi petunjuk dan hidayah kepada kita, yang telah mencurahkan nikmat-nikmat agung tanpa henti setiap hari malah setiap saat untuk kita, yang tidak pernah merungut dan menghantar halilintar atas dosa-dosa dan kelalaian kita, yang tanpa penat atau lelah terus menerus mendokong awan nan biru di pundak langit tanpa sedetik pun ia jatuh ke bumi.

Wahai Yang Maha Pengasih, Maha Penyayang!
Wahai Yang Maha Pengampun, Maha Mengasihani!

Apabila jiwa yang kotor kian hanyut dalam noda-noda kealpaan, apabila diri merasa betapa tidak layaknya kaki berpijak di bumi Tuhan, apabila hati meronta-ronta untuk melepaskan diri dari cengkaman zulumat jahiliyah, namun kekuatan itu seolah-olah satu perkara asing yang terlalu sukar untuk digapai, apabila ruh terasa bagai kehilangan hakikat keimanan...

Ingin sekali berlari pulang kepangkuan Sang Kekasih. Ingin sekali merasakan diri dalam dakapanNya, erat yang mampu meleraikan segala kekusutan jiwa.

Tapi.. layakkah? Mahukah Si Dia menerima ku kembali?

Allah…
Inginku hentikan langkah ini,
Bagaikan tak mampu untuk ku bertahan,
Semangat tenggelam,
Lemah daya,
Haruskah aku mengalah,
Namun jiwaku berbisik,
Inilah dugaan.

Dan seketika, segerombolan panglima-panglima iblis seolah-olah bersorak keriangan kerana berjaya melunturkan semangat seorang pejuang barisan mujahid Islam.

Sekali-kali tidak!

Sesungguhnya, Allah adalah Rabb sekalian alam dan tiada kuasa yang dapat menandingi kuasaNya. Tiada kehendak yang mampu melawan kehendakNya. Maka, tewaslah sekali lagi iblis-iblis tersebut buat kesekalian kalinya.

Allah…
Pimpinlah diriku,
Tuk bangkit semula,
Meneruskan langkah,
Perjuangan ini,
Cekalkan hati dan semangatku,
Kurniakan ketabahan,
Agar mimpi jadi nyata,
PadaMu ku meminta.

Kalau bukan padaNya, pada siapa lagi hati ini harus merintih meraih kekuatan dan kasih? For if He forsake you, NO ONE can help you.

Daku mohon agung kudratMu,
wahai Tuhan yang satu,
segalanya dariMu.

"Dan siapakah yang lebih baik perkataannya daripada orang yang menyeru kepada Allah dan mengerjakan kebajikan dan berkata, 'Sungguh, aku termasuk dalam orang-orang Muslim (yang berserah diri)'. Dan tidaklah sama kebaikan dengan kejahatan. Tolaklah (kejahatan itu) dengan cara yang lebih baik, sehingga orang yang ada rasa permusuhan antara kamu dan dia akan seperti teman yang setia. Dan (sifat-sifat yang baik itu) tidak akan dianugerahkan kecuali kepada orang-orang yang sabar, dan tidak dianugerahkan kecuali kepada orang-orang yang mempunyai keberuntungan yang besar."
Al-Fushshilat (41:33-35)

Lillahitaala.

2009-11-08T21:27:00.003+08:00

I have to find back my beginning.
I have to find it so I can make a difference.
Not for myself, but for those I love.
For humanity.
Self-pity is never an option.
Because of Allah.

~Finding strength~

Daei tak sepatutnya terlampau beremosi!

2009-11-08T17:32:00.005+08:00

At this moment, I am sitting in the storeroom (where the public PC of our home is located) anxiously waiting for the parliament of 4/5E to agree upon a conclusive affirmation of the right course of action.

It is surprisingly an oxymoronic state of confusion to me frankly. You are given one life and the choices to choose from as to what kind of life you want to lead. But somehow your life is decided by others who will not only NOT live it for you, they might also have already gone to the next world by the time you are only half way embarking on it.

It is alright if it turns out that they choices were right. But if it doesn't, well don't blame me if I start blaming them!

O Allah forgive me for my emotional outburst. I am only a girl, and a girl is sometimes allowed to have some say in her future if not at all, no?

Sorry for this nuisance of an entry. I'll post a better entry next time around.

People, do pray for the best for me.

Langkah Tercipta

2009-11-04T14:42:00.001+08:00

Semalam aku kelukaan,
kecewa kehampaan,
mencalar ketabahan,
mimpi yang sering ku harapkan,
menjadi kenyataan,
namun tak kesampaian.

Allah…
Inginku hentikan langkah ini,
bagaikan tak mampu untuk ku bertahan,
semangat tenggelam,
lemah daya,
haruskah aku mengalah,
namun jiwaku berbisik,
inilah dugaan.

Dan langkahku kini terbuka,
pada hikmah dugaan,
uji keimanan (menguji keimanan),
tak dilontarkanNya ujian,
di luar kekuatan,
setiap diri insan.

Allah…
Pimpinlah diriku,
tuk bangkit semula,
meneruskan langkah,
perjuangan ini,
cekalkan hati dan semangatku,
kurniakan ketabahan,
agar mimpi jadi nyata,
padaMu ku meminta.

Daku mohon agung kudratMu,
wahai Tuhan yang satu,
segalanya dariMu.

In search of the person I lost along the way

2009-11-03T09:37:00.005+08:00

Sometimes you plan and you expect so many things to happen. And you hope and you pray that what you wish for will come true. Sometimes you think you are doing the right thing, but in the end you were blinded by the fact that the devil never fails to seduce you into the world of sins with you thinking that it is just mere temptations.

What am I babbling about?

Hasbunallah wa nikmal wakeel.

To Allah, the Lord of All, I succumb my whole life to. No one knows better.

Soal Hati

2009-11-01T22:48:00.001+08:00

Something to share.

A short one.

2009-10-25T14:33:00.002+08:00

Hijab did not stop her from winning,
what about you?

In desperation

2009-10-22T21:19:00.002+08:00

Please O Allah.
Give me strength, patience and conscience.
Show me what is true and best for my Deen.

(Si mata bengkak)

Purify the heart

2009-10-21T18:52:00.002+08:00

A young couple moves into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside.

“That laundry is not very clean”, she said. “She doesn’t know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap”

Her husband looked on, but remained silent. Every time her neighbour would hang her wash to dry, the young woman would make the same comments.

About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband: “Look, she has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this?”

The husband said, “I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows.”

And so it is with life. What we see when watching others.. depends on the purity of the window (our heart) through which we look.

*********

Hadith 6 (in Forty Hadiths of Imam Nawawi):

On the authority of Abu 'Abdullah al-Nu'man bin Bashir, radiyallahu 'anhu, who said: I heard the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, say:

"Truly, what is lawful (Halal) is evident, and what is unlawful (Haraam) is evident, and in between the two are matters which are doubtful which many people do not know. He who guards against doubtful things keeps his religion and honour blameless, and he who indulges in doubtful things indulges in fact in unlawful things, just as a shepherd who pastures his flock round a preserve will soon pasture them in it. Beware, every king has a preserve, and the things Allah has declared unlawful are His preserves. Beware, in the body there is a flesh; if it is sound, the whole body is sound, and if it is corrupt, the whole body is corrupt, and behold, it is the heart."

[Al-Bukhari & Muslim]

Wallahua'lam.

- Copied from Solace

In retrospect

2009-10-20T07:24:00.004+08:00

Ingatlah di mana saja kamu berada..
Kamu tetap memijak bumi Tuhan...
Dan dibumbungi dengan langit Tuhan..
Serta menikmati rezeki Tuhan..

“Maka nikmat Tuhan mu yang mana
lagikah yang akan engkau dustakan?"
Surah Ar-Rahman

Kat akhirat nanti... nak jawab apa?!

2009-10-19T17:04:00.006+08:00

Hati saya tersentuh dengan cahaya hidayah hari ini.
Terima kasih Allah!

Jalan dakwah ini tidak ditaburi bunga-bunga mawar di atas karpet merah, jalan ini penuh dengan liku-liku nan berduri yang panjang dan penuh lelah.

Memang lebih mudah untuk memilih yang mudah, tapi di akhirat kelak depan Allah, nak jawab apa?

"Aku tak mampu... aku takut apa orang lain fikir... aku tak layak... aku nak kumpul harta, naik pangkat, jadi kaya dahulu, baru orang nak dengar..."

Sekarang boleh la kita bagi alasan-alasan tu, tapi bila bertemu dengan Yang Maha Mengetahui nanti, kita nak tipu ke? No, let me rephrase that.. kita BOLEH tipu Dia ke? Sedangkan sehelai daun yang gugur dan seekor semut hitam di atas batu hitam pun Dia tahu dan nampak, inikan pula apa yang kita buat setiap hari. Berani ke nak bagi alasan depan Allah nanti?

Bukan belajar tinggi, degree hebat, rumah besar, kereta mewah, suami kaya atau anak ramai dan pandai yang menjadi sebab kita masuk syurga kelak... tapi keimanan dan jihad yang tinggi menyebarkan yang haq!

Mengapa manusia tidak mahu berfikir?

"Dan jika kamu tidak berangkat (untukberjihad), nescaya Allah akan Menghukum kamu dengan azab yang pedih dan Menggantikan kamu dengan kaum yang lain, dan kamu tidak akan merugikanNya sedikit pun. Dan Allah Maha Kuasa atas segala sesuatu." (At-Taubah 9:39)

Praying.

2009-10-11T20:58:00.000+08:00

"Ya Allah, ampunilah kami.. teguhkanlah iman kami.. lindungilah kami dari syaitan serta kezaliman diri kami sendiri."

My not-so-little-anymore sister

2009-10-10T11:11:00.008+08:00

Who am I?

A Muslim is all the answer I could find. These days, I find myself asking that question a lot. But I wonder if I'm really one you know, a Muslim I mean. I know I, er... mengucap dua kalimah syahadah and all.. But... I don't know. Whatever... someday, somehow... I'll know the answer... but what I really wanna talk about is... my friends. What kind of friends should I ... be friends with? Coz if you talk about 'kinds' meaning there are many types rite? In my opinion, it's nothing about looks... a little about brains and a lot about religion. It’s not that I don't want to be friends with a Buddhist or anything... I mean between Muslim... girls. There's this friend of mine... friends actually. They’re kind of a group. And they're all... what we call... free hair. I've never advised them to not be free hair-ers coz they're not particularly close friends of mine. So I get nervous when I wanna advise them... haha...pathetic rite? So all I can do is pray for them to change. Insha - Allah. But I also have a close friend who’s a free hair and tried to advise her but she said she don't want to or can't or whatever coz she wants to follow the women in her family who are also free hair-ers. I tried telling her the azab for not wearing the hijab and that its useless for following your family who are wrong doers but she didn’t listen. Said she was to embarrassed or something. So I told her to stand up for herself as a Muslim. Unfortunately, she's still being stubborn. And I'm really worried coz she's my really close friend. And I don’t want her to be punished by God. So I don't know what to do anymore besides praying to Allah that someday she'll change. But I sure wish that I can do more than just praying coz she's... important and I wish for her happiness and trust me, following God’s orders will make you happy unlike the opposite. So anyone has any idea what I should do? Tell me if you do. Bye. Oh and don't think I'm weird for telling you this coz you know, I'm still a high school student, so I ran into this situation once in a while. Not to mention I just started high school. Well, not really started but... it's only been 9 months and a half since I started. So I still need guidance.Haha..

***

You know who wrote that? My youngest sister, Atiqah. She just turned 13 about 2 months ago. I smiled reading this recent entry. And sis, if you're reading this - I'M SOOOO PROUD OF YOU! =)

To those Muslim adults who think and claim that they know everything and that they are in charge just because they are adults, perhaps you can learn something from this little girl.

This girl is in search of truth and Allah will guide her to that. And as a teenager, at a time when she is still finding her place int this world she is already doing her purpose in life even is she doesn't really understand about it yet - calling people to Allah and to truth.

Kita kadang-kadang hanyut dalam arus duniawi sehingga kita lupa hakikat kehidupan kita sebenarnya. Who are we? What are we doing here? Why are we sent here? What is the purpose of our creation?

To Atiqah - May you grow up to be a Muslim first above all things, may you become a daei in its truest sense, may you never loose your way in the quest of seraching for truth and may you be in Allah's guidance always and forever. Amin.

I LOVE YOU because of Allah.

"So I told her to stand up for herself as a Muslim."

All you sinners, put your lights on!

2009-10-04T23:08:00.003+08:00

The Effect of Sins on Human Beings, from the works of Ibn Qayyim over 650 years ago. From the notes of the Ilm Summit 09 course, compiled by a smart sister.

1. Deprived of knowledge. Knowledge is light and illumination, and if there is darkness of sin in the heart, then you will not be illuminated. Imam Shafi’ee complained to Waqi about his bad memory and was told to check his heart and lifestyle and abandon the sin. The light is not given to a sinner.

2. Denied of provision from Allah (subhanahu wata’ala). Hadeeth: sometimes Allah deprived a person of provision due to the sin committed. The more sins a person commits, the less provision. There is no barakah.

3. Feeling of loneliness in the heart. When a person is lonely, he does not come close to Allah and feels as if he is on his own. The Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) warned us from accepting that feeling. When you commit a sin, you feel so guilty and do not feel like you are worth being with the people who are good. You think that you are not on their level and ruining the gathering with your sins. This is not what Allah asks of you. Allah wants you to be close to Him regardless of what you do. You feel lonely even when people are around you. Why? You are not like them and they won’t accept you if they knew who you are. This is worse. You are physically with them but feel alone. The Shaytan goes after the one who is separate from the crowd mentally and psychologically. Life becomes difficult for them. Of these influences: darkness in your heart (cannot distinguish between right and wrong).

4. Darkness in the heart. Cannot distinguish between right and wrong.

5. Takes a toll on the body and heart. Spiritually and physically exhausted. Ibaadah becomes very hard.

6. Deprived of the sweetness of ibaadah.

7. Makes your life shorter. In terms of barakah and age. In terms of age: you are stressed out all the time or some people commit suicide because of the sin. Someone committing a sin goes after one sin after the other. This may cause physical damage to the person. The most important thing is the barakah of the time.

8. The sin breeds the sin. This is one of the worst effects of the sin. If you do a sin and enjoy it, then it will lead to something new.

I share this as a reminder to myself first, and then to you reader.

I’m not alone in my sins. I’m not alone in my mistakes. I’m not alone in what I do. I’m not alone seeking repentance. I’m not alone falling down. I’m not alone. I’m not alone.

I’m sorry and I’m going to try again. Thank you Allah (SWT).

From Your Christian Sister With Love

2009-09-27T08:45:00.006+08:00

My Dear Muslim Sisters,

Between the Israeli assault on Lebanon and the Zionist "war on terror," the Muslim world is now center stage in every American home. I see the carnage, death and destruction that have befallen Lebanon, but I also see something else: I see you. I can't help but notice that almost every woman I see is carrying a baby or has children around her. I see that though they are dressed modestly, their beauty still shines through. But it's not just outer beauty that I notice. I also notice that I feel something strange inside me: I feel envy. I feel terrible for the horrible experiences and war crimes that the Lebanese people have suffered, being targeted by our common enemy.

But I can't help but admire your strength, your beauty, your modesty, and most of all, your happiness. Yes, it's strange, but it occurred to me that even under constant bombardment, you still seemed happier than we are, because you were still living the natural lives of women. The way women have always lived since the beginning of time. It used to be that way in the West until the 1960s, when we were bombarded by the same enemy. Only we were not bombarded with actual munitions, but with subtle trickery and moral corruption.

They bombarded us Americans from Hollywood, instead of from fighter jets or with our own American-made tanks. They would like to bomb you in this way too, after they've finished bombing the infrastructure of your countries. I do not want this to happen to you. You will feel degraded, just like we do.

You can avoid this kind of bombing if you will kindly listen to those of us who have already suffered serious casualties from their evil influence.

Because everything you see coming out of Hollywood is a pack of lies, a distortion of reality, smoke and mirrors. They present casual sex as harmless recreation because they aim to destroy the moral fabric of the societies into which they beam their poisonous programming. I beg you not to drink their poison. There is no antidote for it once you have consumed it. You may recover partially, but you will never be the same. Better to avoid the poison altogether than to try to heal from the damage it causes.

They will try to tempt you with their titillating movies and music videos, falsely portraying us American women as happy and satisfied, proud of dressing like prostitutes, and content without families. Most of us are not happy, trust me. Millions of us are on anti-depressant medication, hate our jobs, and cry at night over the men who told us they loved us, then greedily used us and walked away. They would like to destroy your families and convince you to have fewer children. They do this by presenting marriage as a form of slavery, motherhood as a curse, and being modest and pure as old-fashioned. They want you to cheapen yourself and lose your faith. They are like the Serpent tempting Eve with the apple. Don't bite.

I see you as precious gems, pure gold, or the "pearl of great value" spoken of in the Bible (Matthew 13: 45). All women are pearls of great value, but some of us have been deceived into doubting the value of our purity. Jesus said: "Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you" (Matthew 7: 6). Our pearls are priceless, but they convince us that they're cheap. But trust me; there is no substitute for being able to look in the mirror and seeing purity, innocence and self-respect staring back at you. The fashions coming out of the Western sewer are designed to make you believe that your most valuable asset is your sexuality. But your beautiful dresses and veils are actually sexier than any Western fashion, because they cloak you in mystery and show self-respect and confidence. A woman's sexuality should be guarded from unworthy eyes, since it should be your gift to the man who loves and respects you enough to marry you. And since your men are still manly warriors, they deserve no less than your best. Our men don't even want purity anymore. They don't recognize the pearl of great value, opting for the flashy rhinestone instead. Only to leave her too.

Your most valuable assets are your inner beauty, your innocence, and everything that makes you who you are. But I notice that some Muslim women push the limit and try to be as Western as possible, even while wearing a veil (with some of their hair showing). Why imitate women who already regret, or will soon regret, their lost virtue? There is no compensation for that loss. You are flawless diamonds. Don't let them trick you into becoming rhinestones. Because everything you see in the fashion magazines and on Western television is a lie. It is Satan's trap. It is fool's gold.

I'll let you in on a little secret, just in case you're curious: pre-marital sex is not even that great. We gave our bodies to the men we were in love with, believing that that was the way to make them love us and want to marry us. Just as we had seen on television growing up. But without the security of marriage and the sure knowledge that he will always stay with us, it's not even enjoyable! That's the irony. It was just a waste. It leaves you in tears. Speaking as one woman to another, I believe that you understand that already. Because only a woman can truly understand what's in another woman's heart. We really are all alike. Our race, religion or nationalities do not matter. A woman's heart is the same everywhere. We love. That's what we do best. We nurture our families and give comfort and strength to the men we love. But we American women have been fooled into believing that we are happiest having careers, our own homes in which to live alone, and freedom to give our love away to whomever we choose. That is not freedom. And that is not love. Only in the safe haven of marriage can a woman's body and heart be safe to love. Don't settle for anything less. It's not worth it. You won't even like it and you'll like yourself even less afterwards. Then he'll leave you.

Sin never pays. It always cheats you. Even though I have reclaimed my honor, there's still no substitute for having never been dishonored in the first place. We Western women have been brainwashed into thinking that you Muslim women are oppressed. But truly, we are the ones who are oppressed; slaves to fashions that degrade us, obsessed with our weight, begging for love from men who do not want to grow up. Deep down inside, we know that we have been cheated. We secretly admire and envy you, although some of us will not admit it. Please do not look down on us or think that we like things the way they are. It's not our fault. Most of us did not have fathers to protect us when we were young because our families have been destroyed. You know who is behind this plot. Don't be fooled, my sisters. Don't let them get you too.

Stay innocent and pure. We Christian women need to see what life is really supposed to be like for women. We need you to set the example for us, because we are lost. Hold onto your purity. I hope you receive this advice in the spirit in which it is intended: the spirit of friendship, respect, and admiration.

From your Christian sister with love.

Revived

2009-09-20T20:34:00.004+08:00

Sometimes Allah breaks our spirit to save our soul.
Sometimes Allah breaks our heart to make us whole.

Sometimes Allah allows pain so we can be stronger.
Sometimes Allah sends us failure so we can be humble.
Sometimes Allah allows illness so we can take better care of ourselves.

Sometimes Allah takes everything away from us,
Just so that we can learn the value of everything He gave us.

Plan, but understand that we only live by Allah’s grace.

Kembali kepada fitrah

2009-09-19T21:27:00.013+08:00

Allahuakbar.. Allah Maha Besar..

Setelah sebulan kita berpuasa, setalah sebulan berperang dengan nafsu semata-mata, hari ini kita kembali kepada fitrah kita, fitrah seorang insan yang baru dilahirkan.. suci sesuci bening pagi, putih berseri bak kapas bersih. InsyaAllah, begitulah hendaknya.

This Ramadhan has been a tumultuous one for me. Madrasatul Ramadhan, I have emerged a much better person (I hope), insyaAllah. It is hard to express what I feel when the feelings are too vast to be expressed into words. Above all I thank Allah, for giving me the opportunity to correct my wrongs, to expunge my sins and cleanse my soul.

Lesson 1: giving up something that I love for the sake of Allah.
Reward: Liberation from the feeling of guilt.
Feeling: Indescribable.

There are many kinds of love in this world. And there are so many things to love. But there are only two categories of love, one is because of Allah and the other because of our nafs. When you love something or someone because of Allah, you will be willing to sacrifice your own feelings for the sake of the hereafter more than what the world offers you. Sometimes what you love may not bring the best for you in the hereafter, thus you sacrifice you feelings so that you may get something way better in the hereafter.

Ramadhan ini, saya telah melalui pengalaman yang sangat sangat berharga. Kisahnya biarlah menjadi rahsia hati saya. Keperitan pada mulanya memang sukar digambarkan. Apa tidaknya, cuba bayangkan Nabi Ibrahim yang terpaksa menyembelih anaknya Ismail dengan tangannya sendiri atau bayangkan kita yang terpaksa menyembelih anak kita sendiri (untuk yang belum ada anak, bayangkan menyembelih mak ayah kita). Bayangkan ketika anda memegang parang di leher mereka, agaknya apa perasaan anda ya?

Sakit, sedih, pedih, pilu, semuanya ada. Tapi saya tahu kalau saya tidak korbankan perasaan saya itu, sampai bila-bila pun saya akan terperangkap dalam dunia tunggang terbalik ('stuck in limbo'). Sebab saya tahu Allah sudah nyatakan apa yang Dia suka dan apa yang Dia larang, setiap satunya ada hikmah tersembunyi yang tak terjangkau dek akal manusiawi kita. Jadi, yang saya rasa (saya rasa je pun bukannya saya yakin, hehe) baik untuk saya, tidak semestinya baik untuk saya dan begitulah sebaliknya. Kerana yang Maha Tahu hanyalah Allah swt. Namun, cukup untuk saya katakan bahawa perasaan bebas selepas melalui fasa yang menyakitkan itu rasanya, aduh.. seperti terbang di awan biru! Subhanallah!

“Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu, padahal ia amat baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi (pula) kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia amat buruk bagimu; Allah mengetahui, sedang kamu tidak mengetahui.” (Surah Al-Baqarah: 216)

Lesson 2: Meletakkan pergantungan semata-mata kepada Allah.
Reward: Peace and tranquility.
Feeling: Calmness enveloping.

Two days ago, I lost my car keys. That day, duty started like usual at 8 am. Walking to the hospital that morning, I was carefree and feeling youthful. We saw an assisted vacuum delivery in the Labor Room around 9 am and there was a case presentation from 10.45 am to 1 am. It was around 1.30 am when I finally realized that my car keys was not in my white coat and not in my bag. By that time, no one else was around since it was the last day of school just before the Raya break (i.e last friday) and you can guess by now that they have all gone back home.

Setelah solat Zuhur, saya lakukan solat sunat taubat takut-takut Allah uji saya dengan kehilangan kunci kereta dek dosa saya yang saya telah lakukan tanpa saya sedari. Pada ketika itu, hati masih tenang dan masih yakin bahawa kunci akan ditemui dengan pertolongan Allah. Setelah itu, saya pun keluar dari surau hospital menuju ke OT (Bilik Bedah) yang merupakan destinasi pertama saya pagi tadi. I was trying to retrack my steps from the time I walked to the hospital to where I was at that time. Saya ke sana dan ke mari, ke situ dan ke sini.

Dan dalam perasaan gundah gelana, saya leka daripada memerhatikan waktu yang telah dihabiskan berjalan dan bertanya. I have been walking all around the hospital and the faculty for 2 hours non-stop! Tiba-tiba terbayangkan Siti Hajar bersama Ismail, ditinggalkan Nabi Ibrahim ditengah-tengah padang pasir yang tandus lalu terasa diri amat kerdil. Bibir mengucapkan Hasbunallah wa nikmal Wakeel - cukup, cukup, cukup bagiku Allah semata-mata sebagai Wakil. Allah alone is Sufficeint for us. Pergantungan semata-mata kepada Allah Yang Maha Memberi Pertolongan. Pada ketika diri hampir sahaja berputus asa, saya merendahkan hati padaNya dan berdoa, "If this is the best for me, than strengthen my Iman because of it O Allah!"

Malam itu, Ibu saya terjumpa kunci spare kereta (which was actually hanging on the key holder on the wall!) dan Alhamdulillah kami selamat tiba di kampung pagi tadi sebelum sahur dengan menaiki dua buah kereta, kereta saya dan kereta Ibu saya. Alhamdulillah.

Mungkin cerita kunci kereta saya ini terlalu simple dan mungkin bagi yang tidak melaluinya tidak dapat menangkap apa yang ingin saya sampaikan. Tapi demi Allah, if I can turn back time and go through all the worry and hardship of what happened, I would! Just so that I could get the feeling of Hasbunallah wa nikaml Wakeel back. Cukup mengasyikkan.

"Those (believers) unto whom the people (hypocrites) said, "Verily, the people have gathered against you (a great army), therefore, fear them." But it only increased them in Faith, and they said: "Allah alone is Sufficient for us, and He is the Best Disposer of affairs." (Surah Ali Imran: 173)

Banyak lagi kisah-kisah Ramdhan yang lain. Dan terlampau banyak lessons yang dapat diraih dalam madrasatul Ramadhan kali ini, tapi cukuplah dua pengajaran ini untuk saya kongsi pada kali ini. Semoga bermanfaat untuk saya dan semua pembaca.

***

Esok hari pertama Syawal. Seharusnya, hari kegembiraan menyambut kembalinya kita kepada fitrah seorang bayi yang tidak berdosa. Hari memuji kebesaran Ilahi yang telah mengembalikan kita kepada fitrah kita dengan kasih sayang dan rahmatNya.

Tapi saya takut. Takut saya tidak mampu untuk terus mengekalkan momentum amal saya seperti ketika Ramadhan, takut saya tidak akan bertemu lagi Ramadhan pada tahun hadapan, takut hari-hari mendatang melemahkan Iman saya lalu saya kembali menempek hati dengan karat-karat jahiliyyah, takut kelak saya tidak layak meraih redha dan syurga tertinggi Allah...

Allahumma Balighna Ramadhan.
Ya Allah, sampaikan aku dan saudara seislamku kepada Ramadan.

Kopi-Pasta: Suntikan Iman

2009-09-17T22:12:00.001+08:00

“Seseorang Islam itu sudah cukup untuk dikatakan menyeleweng apabila dia meninggalkan jihad di jalan Allah, cenderung pada keduniaan, mencitai dunia melebihi akhirat, bencikan mati, mengikuti hawa nafsu, tunduk kepada syahwat, tenggelam dalam maksiat sehingga mereka dihina oleh Allah dengan kegagalan yang paling besar kepada mereka dan menjadikan pimpinan mereka pada tangan golongan yang menyeleweng dan merosakkan mereka”
-- Ustaz al Sawwaf

Di Luar Topik Ilmu Tabib

2009-09-17T20:21:00.004+08:00

Have been studying a bit around the geography of Indonesia and the spread of Islam in the region. Very intresting, Subhanallah!

"Simpulan sembrono itu ternyata berasal dari pernyataan mantan wartawan Far Eastern Economic Review yang mengaku-aku sebagai pengamat gerakan Islam, Sadanand Dhume. "Hanya ada pemikiran kecil yang membedakan PKS dengan JI. Seperti JI, manifesto pendirian PKS adalah untuk memperjuangkan Khilafah Islamiyah. Seperti JI, PKS menyimpan rahasia sebagai prinsip pengorganisasiannya, yang dilaksanakan dengan sistem sel yang keduanya pinjam dari Ikhwanul Muslimin… Bedanya, JI bersifat revolusioner, sementara PKS bersifat evolusioner. Dengan bom-bom bunuh dirinya, JI menempatkan diri melawan pemerintah, tapi JI tidak mungkin menang. Sebaliknya, PKS menggunakan posisinya di parlemen dan jaringan kadernya yang terus menjalar untuk memperjuangkan tujuan yang sama selangkah demi selangkah, dan suara demi suara… Akhirnya, bangsa Indonesia sendiri yang akan memutuskan masa depannya akan sama dengan Negara-negara Asia Tenggara lainnya, atau ikut gerakan yang berorientasi ke masa lalu dengan jubah fundamentalisme keagamaan. PKS terus berjalan. Seberapa jauh ia berhasil akan mempengaruhi masa depan Indonesia."

(2009: 27, sebagaimana dikutip dari FEER, Mei 2007).

Pemuda = Syabab

2009-09-13T19:39:00.005+08:00

Pernah dahulu, As-syahid Hassan Al-Banna bercerita tentang cita-citanya kepada seorang sahabat ikhwan, katanya..

"Andai diumpamakan ISLAM seperti sebuah bangunan yang hampir roboh, maka Aku akan berjalan ke seluruh pelusuk dunia bagi mencari jiwa-jiwa muda.. Aku tidak ingin mengutip dengan ramainya bilangan mereka.. Tetapi aku inginkan hati-hati yang ikhlas, untuk membantu dan bersamaku membina kembali bangunan usang itu menjadi sebuah bangunan yang tersegam indah, kemudian masyarakat terkejut melihat betapa hebat dan indahnya bangunan yang dahulunya hampir roboh. Mereka tercengang-cengang melihatkan pemuda-pemuda yang berada di dalamnya..Mereka bermanis muka dan berpakaian kemas..sungguh berbeza dengan masyarakat luarnya..."

Semoga ketaqwaan dan keimanan itu menjadi cita-cita teragung kita semua. Ayuh golongan Syabab!

Perservere!

2009-09-12T23:09:00.002+08:00

We fall.

So, stand up again.

We fall again.

Wipe that dirt off your forehead. Push yourself up, and stand up again.

We fall again and again.

Stand up! Stand up!

Don't give up now. DON'T.

Because Allah is here. He WILL help you get through this.

He is helping you right now!

Soon He will guide them and amend their condition. And admit them to the Garden which He has announced for them. O you who believe! If you will aid (the cause of) Allah, He will aid you and plant your feet firmly (make you steadfast in you faith). [47:5-7]

.....

2009-09-09T15:01:00.006+08:00

Bagaimana harus aku ungkapkan kata-kata hati kecilku ini? Sesungguhnya hanya Allah Maha Mengetahui hakikat kebenaran yang pasti.

Awak yang saya sayang.

Apabila hati mula terdetik, apabila langkah mula menapak, apabila pandangan mata dipenuhi dengan cita-cita agung nan suci untuk melihat nama Islam dijulang tinggi... maka, saat itulah diri akan diuji. Saat itulah kesakitan datang bertubi-tubi. Saat itulah cercaan menerpa berkali-kali. Saat itulah pandangan serong manusia sudah mula menjadi sebati.

Kita mula ragu pada diri sendiri. Malah lebih menakutkan apabila kita mula sangsi kepada ketentuan Ilahi. Mula berkira-kira untuk berkorban itu dan ini. Terasa seperti memberi alasan itu lebih menyeronokkan daripada mengorbankan keenakan duniawi. Ketika itu, bukan iman lagi yang menjadi raja hati tapi nafsu yang menguasai diri.

Murabbi-murabbi, akhawat-akhawat, sahabat-sahabat - iringan doa mereka memang takkan pernah putus untuk kita. Agar terus diberi kekuatan untuk mengharungi lautan kesusahan. Kata-kata semangat dan kasih-sayang mereka mengalir bagaikan arus deras di sungai, tanpa henti, tanpa kompromi. Supaya Allah terus menyatukan hati-hati kita untuk berjuang demi yang haq, kerana perjuangan ini takkan menang hanya dengan sekeping hati menyendiri.

Tapi.

Tapi, sampai bila kita nak harapkan orang lain memberi semangat dan aliran kasih sayang kepada kita? Sampai bila kita nak menunggu orang lain yang memberi dan memberi dan memberi. Di mana usaha kita? Belum tibakah masanya kita pula mula berbakti. Di mana pembuktian bahawa kita layak menerima hidayah yang kita terima ini?

Syurga itu mahal harganya. Dan Allah itu Maha Adil.

"Dan orang-orang yang berjihad untuk mencari keredhaan Kami, Kami akan tunjukkan kepada mereka jalan-jalan Kami. Dan sungguh, Allah berserta orang-orang yang berbuat baik." (29:69)

Tangisan menyucikan hati yang kelam.

2009-09-03T22:47:00.003+08:00

Ku mencari kembali kasih yang hilang.
Lalu ku temuinya.
Dikala hati tertanya-tanya.
Apakah aku masih layak meraih cinta?
Atau diri sekadar menabur alasan untuk menyendiri?
Tapi mungkinkah menyendiri itulah yang kucari.
Yang akhirnya akan membawa aku kepada Ilahi.

"Ya muqallibal qulub sabit qulubana 'ala dinik wa 'ala tho'atik"

Ahlan!

2009-08-21T13:26:00.002+08:00

Esok Ramadhan, yay!
Alhamdulillah, I am still here.
Thank you Allah.