On feelings and love.

True love. When you say you love someone..

Does it mean your whole world revolve around that one person only? Does it mean only thinking of him/her and disregarding everything else?

To what extend can you actually say you love a person?

True love. It takes a lot of hard work. It takes a lot of sacrifices. It takes a lot of everything than just saying it out loud over and over again.

To what extend are you willing to sacrifice?

The happiness of this short, temporary, obscure world against that of the realm of eternal bliss. To choose is not an easy task. To make a choice takes courage, endurance and extreme patience. To hold on to what is right needs utmost integrity and above all in the heart.. true iman.

"Truly, what is lawful is evident, and what is unlawful is evident, and in between the two are matters which are doubtful which many people know not. Thus, he who avoids doubtful matters clears himself in regard to his religion and his honor, but he who falls into doubtful matters falls into that which is unlawful, like the shepherd who pastures around a sanctuary, all but grazing therein. Truly every king has a sanctuary, and truly Allah's sanctuary is His prohibitions. Truly in the body there is a morsel of flesh which, if it be whole, all the body is whole and if it is corrupt, the whole body is corrupt. Truly, it is the heart."
- Hadith 6, Forty Hadith of Imam An-Nawawi

Islam gives light to a new perspective.

I used to see myself as a stubborn, spoiled, sometimes irresponsible person. Simultaneously, I see myself as a young lady who is confident of herself. Once, I used to think I can do anything I put my heart to without anyone's help.

I was wrong. NOW, I have found my One True Love. I have found Allah. My Helper, My Savior. The One without which I can not even breath if He denies me the right to live.

I used to think my parents were overprotective. I used to feel suffocated by their questions and scrutiny.

I've only realized NOW that I have parents who hold true to the believe that if they understand what I do, provide me with everything that I need and give me the freedom to execute them, I can excel. And that has been a major blessing, especially now that I have understood what it is to be a true Muslim. Especially when I see my friends who are facing problems with their parents who have many misconceptions of what we do.

I am not blaming them (read: the parents) because I believe that when Allah deems it befitting for them to understand, He will definitely provide them with understanding. It's just that because of them, it became apparent to me how understanding my parents really are.

Thank you Allah for bestowing upon me, MY Ibu and Abah. Thank you Ibu and Abah for revealing me the value of love, freedom and apprehension, the best thing a daughter could ask for from her parents. And may Allah attach the good things that I do with the goodness and kindness that my parents have granted me from the day I was born until now. May they get huge benefits from my share of pahala for them. Amin.

“Sesiapa yang Allah mahukan kebaikan baginya,
Dia (Allah) memberikan kefahaman dalam Ad-Din ”
- Hadis Sahih Bukhari dan Muslim

Sincerity needs no explanation.

I have been asking myself lately, if I should care about what people think of me and try to squeeze myself into a stereotype. I feel like I'm evolving into a new person, a better person I hope. But at the same time, I wonder if people see me the way I see myself.

If the way people see me doesn't suit into my so called perception, will it affect the emblem of life that I am carrying? If I strive to be a good Muslim in its truest sense, will people still see me the way I want them to or will their impressions be affected by the cliche of common people? Will these biased judgments then influence their view of Islam itself?

No one can evaluate how sincere one is. I just hope I am sincere. I pray that, if Allah thinks I am, my sincerity does not falter midway and that Allah will keep me steadfast on this true path. God knows how fickle the heart can be.

"The (true) believers are those only who believe in Allah and His messenger and afterward doubt not, but strive with their wealth and their lives for the cause of Allah. Such are the sincere ones." (49:15)

A short note to self.

I am now finding my true potentials. But I must always remember that all these came from Allah, the Ultimate Provider.

In the end, the hereafter is the everlasting life.

And I am aiming for that life, not here.