.::Fits of convulsioN::.

I'm a psychiatrist. Blerrrrghh! =P

Pursuit of happyness

"Happiness can grow in any soil, live in any condition.
It defies environment.
It comes from within;
it is a revelation of the depths of inner life
as light and heat proclaim the sun from which they radiate.
Happiness consist not of having, but of being;
not of possessing, but of enjoying.
It is the warm glow of the heart at peace with itself.
Happiness is the soul’s joy in the possession of intangible.
Happiness is paradoxical;
it may coexist with total sorrow and poverty.
It is the gladness of the heart, rising superior to all condition.”

Unconditional love

"Anak hanya belajar menghargai kasih sayang ibu bapanya apabila akal sudah hidup di kepala, namun ibu bapa sudah menyayangi anak sebelum lahir ia ke dunia." -Saifulislam.Com-

A line from an article by Ustaz Hasrizal in one of his entries triggered me to write my entry for today. Simple yet meaningfully deep. It carries a similitude of most child-parents status quo in the present-day. Of course some of us might argue with that point, but then again coming back to my own experience, I remain affixed to my stand.

If you're a regular here, you might have read the entry I wrote on my dad awhile ago, which summarizes in short yet precisely the character of Abah. An uncluttered yet complex man. Extremely wise yet nitwitted. Funny and playful but stern. A kind man though a bit atrocious at times. A mixture of everything. An oxymoronic man, if this term ever exist. Which makes it an effortless effort to love but dislike him at the same time.

My mum, however, well that's another story to tell. She's the disciplinarian of the family. I used to be so scared of her, even if it was MY daring deliquency in the first place that made her chase me around the house with a hanger or a rotan. The weird thing is, regardless of how terrified I was of her, I've always wanted to please her. I remembered locking myself in the kitchen and washing all the dirty dishes in the sink so that I can suprise her. Any of my outstanding performances in school be it academic wise or extra-curricular activities, she'll be the first to know. She's the kind of person that puts other people on edge, making them go the extra mile, putting extra work to achieve the highest of their capability. In many ways than not, I am what I am now because of her. And eventhough it's hard to hear it from you, deep in my heart I know your love for your children reachest far beyond anything anyone on this earth can ever imagine. I love you, Ibu.

I have always been a difficult child. Being the first and only child for more than 4 years drifted me to become quite the challenge in the bridge towards my teenage years. I can't even count how many times I threatened to run away just because I was pissed by such stupid and unacceptable reasons. Or throw hysterical tantrums to get what I wanted. Oh, the foolishness of the fool can never be understood by the fool herself. I was selfish and proud but witless.

They say wisdom comes with age. I vouch to that. In retrospect, I realize I was always full of anger and reproach of those around me, of the people that loved (and still do) me the most. To me, nothing then was ever good enough. No one understood me. I was dead wrong.

So, Ibu, Abah, I'm sorry for all the misbehaves and tantrums, all the verbal attacks and lazziness, all the stupidity and self-centredness, everything in the package. I know I was difficult and to tell you the truth, I think I always will be. Hehhe. But THANK YOU, for always trying to give me the best, for all the care and guidance. Thank you for your unconditional love.

I am grateful for having the greatest parents one could ever ask for.

For I am blessed.

There's always a first time for everything

My first chocolate cake. =)

Euphoria on her face:
"Sedap lah cake ni kakak!"

I have never baked before. I can cook dishes and do puddings (walaupun malas juga lah sebenarnya =D), but never ventured into cakes and cookies yet. I know, I know, the cake up there does not look that delicious to begin with but trust me its finger-licking-good! I have my siblings to testify to that. Hehhe. Oh, and my dads' remark was "Macam cake secret recipe!!". Alhamdulillah. I'm proud that I braved myself to take the first step into the baking terrene.

It's too bad my number one chef (read: my ibu) is not at home to comment on it, she's in Penang for a certain particular meeting. I did call her though before takeoff just to make sure everything's right. Tak pernah guna oven on my own before percaya tak? Kelakar sungguh saya ni. She bid me good luck sambil menggelakkan saya. I think Mamasarah and Drroza will be laughing their hearts out reading this entry too.

Tomorrow will be dish day pulak. I'm thinking of Nasi Goreng Thai or any kind of fried rice, lets see how it goes. Six weeks of holidays will be seeing my family getting bulat-er by my cookings, itupun if my rajin mood berkekalan. Hehhe. Wish me luck!

Advert: Arifah will make a good future wife. *snorts out laughter*

Of simple-mindedness

WARNING: Don't read this if you have anything better to do!

It's 12.15 am and my eyes are still in their active trance. Might be due to the fact that I had a 3-hour-long "nap" petang tadi kut. Hehhe. Can't help it. My biological clock dah tunggang terbalik since the exams last week. Biasalah time-time periksa tidur tak menentu, tidur lepas subuh bangun tengahari buta, tidur pukul 10 pm bangun pukul 2 am tak tidur dah sampai malam berikutnya. Sesuka hati jek. Aiyoo. Have to stop this bad habit of sleeping at unappropriate hours, nanti kene parkinsons disease (ye ke? nyehnyeh..) karang baru tau.

Anyway, to be honest I'm actually the morning type of person. Kalau tak sebab exam (semua nak salahkan exam kan??), my sleeping schedule most of the time memang cun-cun je. Sleep around 11.30 pm, wake up at 5.30 am lah paling-paling lewat pun. It's nice having the peace and quiet all to yourself. You don't have to worry about people peeping into your private routines, although its not that private pun. There's a big difference between sleeping early, waking up early and sleeping late, waking up late. Arifah thinks and believes that your brain process thoughts and ideas faster when you sleep early and rise when the day is still young. There's something magical about the dewy quiet moments of the dawn, I tell you!

You might have noticed by my third paragraph that I am literally writing nonsense. Sebenarnya memang tak ada idea langsung nak tulis apa. All my bernas ideas dah gone with the wind. Lepas tu, my glossary's worth right now are equivalent to that of junks and jargons. Rojak-rojak, macam-macam ada. Hehhe. Well, saja nak cuba-cuba benda baru once in awhile.

Ok. Rasanya dah puas mengarut-ngarut buat masa ni. Sekian saja ketemu kita di lain hari. Roger and out.

Ps: I did warn you ahead didn't I? Lol. =D

I can bend and not break

(from a dear friend's blog)

I believe-
that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I believe-
that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I believe-
that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance.

I believe-
that you can do something in an instant that will give you a heartache for life.

I believe-
that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I believe-
that we are responsible for our actions, no matter how we justify it.

I believe-
that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I believe-
that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I believe-
that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I believe-
that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I believe-
that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I believe-
that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I believe-
that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I believe-
that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

I believe-
that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I believe-
that everyone deserves a chance to be better in every way they can be..



To those who stood by me when it really mattered and to those who hadn't but still matter.. thank you for a being a part of me. I love you guys. =)

A quick stop.

"The word 'shams' (sun) is feminine, and 'qamar' (moon) is masculine. The sun burns itself out to give light and life to everything around, and the moon is muneer, meaning it reflects the light. Within itself it has no light; it radiates the brilliance of the sun. So when we shine as men, the implication is that we are reflecting the glorious light of our women. May Allah swt be pleased with them."

-Sheikh Abdullah Adhami-

Subhanallah. =)

On Break

Due to a certain MAJOR EXAM, I will be on hiatus until further notice.

Friends, families, foes and those who intentionally/unintentionally stumble upon my blog.. do pray for my success, InsyaAllah.

*quickly dugs back into a topic on respiratory inflammatory disorder*

Thy supreme counsel is thy Lord

Who does greater evil than he who is reminded of the signs of the Lord, then turns away from them?
- Quran 32:22