Ramadhan; The best of months

It is the time of the year again. When every good we do is rewarded double, triple, quadruple (I can go on like forever..) the amount. When the doors of hell are locked, the devils given uniform in stripes and put behind bars, the kingdom of heavens are opened and the endless mercy of the Almighty is upon us.

How are you doing right now? How is your Iman? How much are your Amal? How high is your repentance? How much have you forgiven those around you? How many blessings that you've received you've counted? How many heaps of love have you spread?

[2:183] O ye who believe! Fasting is prescribed to you as it was prescribed to those before you that ye may (learn) self-restrain.

I do not know about other people, but I do know that this year's Ramadhan is the most special of all the Ramadhans I have gone through before. Because it came with a feeling of sincere believe and a reawakened mind of my real purpose in life.

There was a time when I was the kind of person that enjoyed movie marathons until the wee hours of the morning, that disregard any form of religious affiliations; Islamic or otherwise, that have taken pleasure in showing of my body, that have specifically ignored the lines given by Islam in the contiguity of a male and a female, that have neglected every bit of guidance Allah gave me.

There was a time when worldly admiration was what I aimed, where narcissistic ambitions became predominant above all others, where the feelings of the people that I love I purposely overlooked because of selfish reasons, where everything and everyone were blamed due to my own insufficiency.

And then.. something happened. The true understanding of Islam shook the very core of my perceptions. My life took a 180 degree turn. Everything became meaningful again.

And I wanted so much to share it with those I really cared about. I wanted to share it with my parents, I wanted to share it with my siblings, I wanted to share it with my cousins, aunties and uncles, I wanted to share it with all my friends. Every one of them. I tried, in my own way, I really did try. But somehow, somewhere along the way, my steps faltered.

[15:94] Therefore expound openly what thou art commanded, and turn away from those who join false gods with Allah.

Now, it has dawned on me that patience, sincerity and perseverance is the key. That the journey is going to be long and full of trials, tribulations, challenges. That some will totally ignore, some will resist at first and then only relent, and if I'm lucky some with unquestioningly accept.

[2:155-177] Be sure We shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods, lives, and the fruits of your toil. But give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere. Those who say, when afflicted with calamity, 'To Allah we belong, and to Him is our return.' They are those on whom descend blessings from their Lord, and mercy. They are the ones who receive guidance.

I have come to embrace the fact that my life will not be like others. That my ambitions cannot be of this life only. That what I do will sometime be incomprehensible to those who do not see what I believe in the same light as I do. That a lot have to be sacrificed for the truth that I claim I carry.

[29:64] What is the life of this world but amusement and play? But verily the Home in the Hereafter that is life indeed if they but knew.

But sometimes it can be so very hard, in can get so very frustrating and often more than not my spirits stumbles and my soul staggers. For I am but an ordinary human being. Do not let the weakness of the messenger restrain you from the truth of the message.

[94:5-6] Verily, with every difficulty there is relief.
Verily, with every difficulty there is relief.

I have been wanting to write about this for quite sometime now. But I was not brave enough to do so. Brave enough to accept the consequences of fabricating thoughts into solid facts on 'paper'. I believe we should always be responsible with what we write because what we write is what we think and thoughts becomes actions. And every action has it effects on everything.