Inspiration

There is something inside each and every one of us. That one special thing that separates us from the ordinary. Some of us spend our whole life trying to figure out what that thing is. To some, it came by so cunningly easy that we tend to take for granted the talent we posses. Unfortunately, there are those who're stuck in between not knowing what they're missing because they are too caught up in their own web of fear of the unknown.

Which one are you?

One chance to touch a star. Go higher and higher.
Find your guiding inspiration.
In a place where dreams are made.

Looking beyond

Doing everything that I believe in
Going by the rules that I've been taught
More understanding of what's around me
And protected from the walls of love

All that you see is me
And all I truly believe

That I was born to try
I've learned to love
Be understanding
And believe in life
But you've got to make choices
Be wrong or right
Sometimes you've got to sacrifice the things you like
But I was born to try

No point in talking what you should have been
And regretting the things that went on
Life's full of mistakes, destinies and fate
Remove the clouds look at the bigger picture

And all that you see is me
And all I truly believe

A prayer

ALLAH, on this day, make me, among those who rely on You, from those who You consider successful, and place me among those who are near to you, by Your favor, O goal of the seekers.

Mencari Doktor Dakwah Yang Hakiki

Bertemu doktor-doktor perubatan mithali sepanjang di Jalan Dakwah ini banyak memberi semangat juang kepada saya. Ada professor patologi yang saya berbicara dengannya tentang Dakwah dan isu umat ini hingga jam 4 pagi tanpa dia merasa jemu. Tak mengapa kerana masa tersebut adalah untuk Dakwah, katanya bila saya meminta maaf kerana ziarah yang panjang. Ada doktor yang sepenuh masa menyelia gudang Bantuan Kemanusiaan (Human Relief) di celah-celah timbunan guni dan kotak dengan penuh tekun, kini dia dipersada yang sama di arena antarabangsa. Ada doktor perunding urologi yang menjadi salah seorang guru dan penunjuk utama saya dalam Dakwah ini. Ini belum lagi doktor-doktor yang tidak pernah saya temui tetapi kisah perjuangan Dr Abdul Aziz Al-Rantisi, Dr Ahmad Al-Malt dll yang mencurah seluruh jiwa raga, masa, harta dan nyawa untuk Dakwah ini sehingga mereka menghembuskan nafas terakhir meredhai dan diredhai Allah swt saya tatapi dengan penuh tekun dan membara. Sungguh ruh Dakwah ini mampu mencipta banyak keajaiban yang tak dapat digambarkan oleh manusia yang lalai.

Seperti posting lalu, pendakwah hakiki ialah mereka yang berjaya melaksanakan fardhu ain dalam menyeru manusia kembali kepada Allah swt. Mujaddid pula adalah orang yang menghidupkan aspek Islam yang sangat diperlukan pada ketika itu seperti Khalifah Umar Abd Aziz (99H) dalam membaiki kehidupan khalifah dizaman banyak aduan tentang gaya hidup khlifah-khalifah sebelum beliau dan Imam Syafie (199H) dalam mengasaskan Usul Fiqh dizaman Islam berkembang ke pelusuk dunia dan sangat memerlukan panduan dan asas dalam mengeluarkan hukum hakam baru. Oleh itu Doktor Dakwah yang hakiki pada zaman umat Islam jahil dan ditindas hari ini adalah doktor yang berperanan seterusnya memimpin perubahan dalam jiwa masyarakat sehingga melayakkan mereka kembali bangkit membimbing dan memimpin orang ramai kepada keagungan Islam, berdepan dengan musuh-musuhnya diseluruh dunia. Seorang doktor boleh memainkan peranan tersebut kerana :

1. Mudah menasihat dan mendidik masyarakat disebabkan kedudukannya yang dihormati.
2. Memberi identiti yang cantik kepada badan dan organisasi yang disertainya, apatah lagi yang dipimpinnya.
3. Boleh memberi sumbangan fikiran, terutama setelah melalui pengalaman luas dan bacaan yang banyak kerana mereka memiliki kecerdikan yang tinggi.
4. Memelihara kesihatan umat dan ini penting untuk mereka berperanan memajukan agama dan negara disamping berjihad dan berdakwah kepada umat yang lain.
5. Berdepan dengan dakyah sesat yang lain yang banyak masuk melalui khidmat kesihatan dan kebajikan.

Setelah melalui sedikit pengalaman dan membuat pengamatan, beberapa perkara perlu disedari agar kita memiliki seramai mungkin Doktor Dakwah yang hakiki, dengan mereka dapat membantu membangkitkan kembali umat ini dari lena lalu membawa mereka kearah keagungan global. Diantaranya :

1. Seperti karier-karier lain yang berbagai, karier sebagai doktor adalah fardhu kifayah dan sekali-kali janganlah karier itu melupakan tuannya terhadap fardhu ain iaitu Dakwah di Jalan Allah.
2. Tempoh sebagai mahasiswa adalah kritikal dalam melahirkan Pendakwah yang hakiki. Hanya mahasiswa yang berjaya dididik meletakkan Dakwah lebih utama dari segalanya yang mampu menjadi Pendakwah yang hakiki dihari tua. Sebaliknya bebanan pelajaran mahasiswa perubatan adalah besar, menjadikan usaha menanam hakikat diatas seringkali sukar. Kebiasaannya, seorang yang lebih mementingkan pelajarannya dizaman mahasiswa akan lebih mementingkan kariernya dizaman bekerja. Sebaiknya dia tekun dan hebat di dalam Dakwah sambil cemerlang di dalam pelajaran.
3. Kerjaya sebagai seorang doktor juga berat dan menyibukkan. Kerjaya lain banyak beinteraksi dengan dokumen dan angka di paparan yang mudah dikendali masa dan keadaannya, sedang doktor mesti berinteraksi secara langsung dengan orang ramai yang seringkali tidak mengira masa, keadaan dan tempat. Ini ditambahan lagi dengan tawaran habuan wang ringgit yang tinggi menjadikan usaha menanam ke dalam jiwa akan hakikat Dakwah sebagai fardhu ain dan lebih utama dari segalanya seringkali tercabar. Pengalaman dan kejadian banyak terbentang di depan mata hingga ke hari ini. Kata ahli Dakwah bermaksud, “Agama ini tidak akan memberi sebahagian kemajuannya kepada kita, melainkan setelah kita memberi segala apa yang ada kepada kita untuknya berupa tenaga, masa, wang ringgit, jiwa dan raga”.
4. Setinggi mana pangkat, seluas dan sebesar mana tanggungjawab terhadap kesihatan orang ramai, seorang doktor wanita tidak boleh mengabaikan tugas asasi mendidik anak-anaknya hingga berjaya menjadi Pendakwah yang hakiki. Mendidik anak memerlukan fokus, masa, perancangan dan kesabaran. Jangan sekali-kali karier tinggi melangit tetapi tugas Dakwah entah kemana, anak-anak terbiar keIslamannya lagi menyedihkan, fardhu kifayah dikejar, fardhu ain diabaikan.

Taken from: Ini Jalanku by Ustaz Halim

Note to self: A looooooooong way to go.

Strayed thoughts

In between chaos, there is a thing called Love.

To each a responsibility

"There are, of course, those who do not want us to speak. I suspect even now orders are being shouted into telephones and men with guns will soon be on their way. Why? Because while the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power. Words offer the means to meaning and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country, isn't there?

Cruelty and injustice.. intolerance and oppression. And where once you had the freedom to object, to think and speak as you saw fit, you now have censors and systems of surveillance, coercing your conformity and soliciting your submission. How did this happen? Who's to blame? Well certainly there are those who are more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable. But again, truth be told.. if you're looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror."

-V for Vendetta-

Self

Stop blaming others. Own up.

Tell me why

Floating in a hurricane of deep dark secrets. Plunging into a raging ocean. Bringing along a burden that carries a weight so heavy you sink into the bottomless sea.

Dreams are meant to be shattered. Hearts are meant to be broken.

Only then do we realize what is really important in life.

Do I have to stand and fight to prove to everybody
who I am?

One nation, one faith

We tend to see people from the perspective of our own introspection. Our views are shaped by our way of thinking which is often the result of our upbringing - the accumulative constituents of culture, religious believes and educational experiences.

Empathy, such a cool word to pronounce but the fact of the matter, is very hard to achieve. We can never truly feel what another person feels until we have gone through the same situation as they have.

Understanding and acceptance I believe is the key to true civilization and the enlightenment of the human mind and soul. It is because of the feeling of being accepted can one achieve the liberty of thoughts from undesired emotions.

For example, when you talk to your child about how their attitude is breaking your heart and you feel like they don't appreciate all the sacrifices you've made for them thus you put all the blame on them, do you think they can instantaneously turn into an angel right there and then?

Now, what if you take a different approach by saying that you love them and that you understand how it must be hard for them to find their place in this world when people keep treating them like children but asking them to be adults and implicating them with things that they can't seem to fully comprehend yet but you hope that you can assist them to be better people thus you need their cooperation and understanding also for you to help them help themselves, well what do you think will happen then?

It is in the nature of man to feel wanted and accepted by the people around them. This feeling of acceptance creates a security that in turns inspires the soul to be better in so many ways.

What is my point exactly? To be honest, I've lost my train of thoughts. =D

I don't know, I guess I'm just perturbed by the racial and religous (or spiritual if you like it that way) turmoil our country is heading into (or perhaps have already been in for a long time yet never noticed). Lead by example as what the Prophet Muhammad said. So, I guess it all goes back to ones ability, in my case MYSELF, to accept others for the differences they have and finally agree to disagree on certain matters. This thing that has been going on is not just interracial but if we dig deeper is actually rooted intra-racially.

Right, I'm going to let this issue hang there. Tata~

On an emotional note: I hate it when people equate Malays to Muslims!
Malays = Muslims?
Malays ≠ Muslims!
Because Muslims are a nation, one ummah, regardless of race,
so stop playing the racial card already!!!!

Ujian, ujian dan ujian

Tadi di wad kanak-kanak, berborak-borak dengan ibu seorang pesakit. Sebab kemasukan tidaklah terlalu serius, hanya kerana infeksi jangkitan kuman pada paru-paru. Tapi setelah diselidik dengan lebih mendalam, rupa-rupanya simptom adik tersebut agak parah sehingga dia terpakasa dimasukkan ke dalam Unit Rawatan Intensif (ICU) selama 10 hari sebelum dipindah masuk ke dalam wad ini beberapa hari yang lalu.

Namun, saya lihat wajah ibu tadi tenang sekali. Lalu saya pun bertanya, umur ibu berapa ya? Katanya sudah hampir 50 tahun dan ini anaknya yang bongsu. Wah, sungguh menakjubkan. Saya kira ini anaknya yang pertama dan dia baru sahaja berumur 30 tahun. Saya tanya lagi, ibu ni awet muda, ibu makan apa ya? Sambil bergelak ketawa mengisi ruang bualan. Tak makan apa nak, cuma ibu tak suka risau-risau dan menyerebut kepala dengan perkara yang ibu tak boleh ubah apa-apa. Sabar tu kunci segala-galanya! Saya seperti tersentak seketika. Tarbiyah kecil dari seorang ibu yang hanya belajar sehingga sekolah menengah dan berkerja sebagai suri rumah.

Saya melihat-lihat badan adik kecil itu lalu ternampak tanda garis parut yang panjang di tengah-tengah dadanya. Memang selalunya ia adalah petanda bahawa adik ini pernah mempunyai masalah jantung berlubang suatu masa dahulu dan kini sudah sembuh.

Saya tanya lagi, adik ini pernah masuk hospital sebelum ini ibu? Jawabnya tidak, sejak kali terakhir dia masuk untuk pembedahan jantungnya. Tekaan saya betul! Saya masih di awang-awangan kerana perasan diri ini serba tahu (astagfirullah sedangkan ilmu itu dari Allah!) sambil mulut bertanya, ibu tidak risau dulu ibu? Maka ibu itu mula berceramah lagi. Nak, buat apa kita nak risau benda yang memang Allah dah tetapkan untuk kita. Kita dah ikhtiar, bawa jumpa doktor, kita tahu doktor tu akan buat yang terbaik untuk tolong anak kita. Jadi kita tak perlu risau. Semuanya ujian dari Allah. Kita kena sabar sahaja.

Saya terpana.

Ketika itu, doktor pakar masuk untuk melihat adik kecil ini. Saya pun melarikan diri kerana tidak mahu mengganggu urusan doktor tersebut.

Kaki melangkah longlai kerana fikiran menerewang entah ke mana. Atas nilai kesabaran dan ketaqwaan itulah, ibu itu walau hanya seorang suri rumah, walau hanya berpelajaran rendah, walau tidak pernah melancong meredah, walau nampak seperti insan lemah, akan diangkat tinggi martabatnya di akhirat kelak. Di dunia sebenar kita. Di dunia infiniti kita.

Maka, kita ini masih mahu berbangga dengan harta, nama, pangkat, anak-anak dan keangkuhan kita?

I am so afraid I am going to fail this test again and again. Allah, please guide me towards the righteous path. I can not do this alone.

Make the change!

It is so very hard to get rid of this selfishness. When you've always been nurtured to put yourself first before others, kindness and compassion never come easy to you. You try to change the way you think which have shaped the way you act which has in turn make your habit. But THAT'S the problem!

When it becomes habit, it is so very hard to change.

Sometimes, blaming others for the way you are is so much easier than confronting the fact that you actually have the will power to make your life and how you live, your own. It is easier to say things like "Oh, it's in the genes", "Oh well, it's the way I was brought up", "It's just the way I am!" than to proactively strive to improve ourselves. THAT'S the thing!

It is so much fun being complacent than striving hard because to strive takes too much work.

Alright then. I'm done complaining. Now it is time to STEP UP and MAKE THE CHANGE. Stop whining already Arifah!

Thank you for reading this. ^_^

To become a psychologist

What if this isn't what I want? Can I actually have wants? If this path requires sacrifices, if this life requires endurance, than why are we given ambitions, aspirations and passion?
Can I press rewind?

I am certain that I assist people with their problems for self-satisfaction and this is the real reason why I’d like to study psychology; later finding a profession where I am able to help people all day, thus satisfying my needs. Is this a wrong reason to get into your field (i.e., does this become an issue when I make this my living)? I understand we all have selfish reasons for all that we do, but is this what motivates you and others in your field or is there something I seem to be missing?

Yes, we all have to look after ourselves to a basic extent. If no one is going to give us shelter and food, then we have to earn the money to provide these things for ourselves. So, if you have to work for a living, you may as well do something you enjoy.

The practice of psychology, however, does put a twist on all this. A psychotherapist must work very intimately with the unconscious desires of another person, and it can be very easy for the psychotherapist’s personal desires to contaminate the desires of the client. That’s why the great psychoanalyst Jacques Lacan taught that the analyst’s only desire should be to help the client get close to his or her own unconscious and should ask nothing of the client but fair payment for a job well done.

The prerequisite for such intense work is personal psychotherapy—the more intense the psychotherapy, the better—so as to become familiar with your own personal unconscious issues. Most “bad therapists” are caught up in their own pride and ego because they are blind to them, and they do considerable damage to their clients as a result.

Therefore, if you believe you have a gift for psychology, then pursue it and let your own personal psychotherapy show you if you really have what it takes. If you can face your own inner darkness and grow from it, and can tolerate what is missing in life by not trying to use perversions to hide from yourself, then blessings to you.