Be the better person

You taught and turned me into what I am with fire and steel and hurt and hate because that's what happened to you. But I will teach and turn with love and kindness. I will kill your spiral.

I already know what to do

You think you’re waiting for help. For someone to tell you what the right thing to do is. Even though, at the back of your mind, you already know what that is. So all you’re really waiting for, is a time when you’re forced to do it.

Just do it!

As death draw near

We might not have the chance to choose our birth, but
we still have the opportunity to choose our death.
It's in your hand, to leave this world with triumph or failure.
Out there, there's still too much of misery but lack of empathy.
Loads of enmity but little of kindness and love.
To my fellow mankind, reveal what have been concealed.
May you find the truth.

- Syahadatulhaq

Allah has given me beauty

The beauty of a woman

Isn't reflected in the cloths she wears,

Its not in her figure,

Its not in the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman

Must be seen from in her eyes,

To see the true beauty of a woman

You have to look into her soul.

The beauty of a woman

Isn't found in her smile,

The true beauty of a woman

Is found deep within her heart,

Where only love resides.

The true beauty of a woman

Is shown in her tenderness,

In the care that she gives,

And the passion that she shows.

The true beauty of a woman

Grows with each passing year,

Because every woman is beautiful

in her own way!

Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "A woman is normally sought as a wife for her wealth, beauty, nobility, or religiousness (adherence to Islam), but choose a religious woman and you will prosper. "

Finding my way back

Wahai hamba-hambaKu yang telah melampaui batas terhadap diri mereka sendiri (dengan perbuatan-perbuatan maksiat), janganlah kamu berputus asa dari rahmat Allah, kerana sesungguhnya Allah mengampunkan segala dosa; sesungguhnya Dialah jua Yang Maha Pengampun, lagi Maha Mengasihani.
[Az-Zumar 39:53]


Rasulullah saw bersabda: "Allah swt berfirman: Wahai anak Adam, sepanjang engkau memohon kepadaKu dan berharap kepadaKu akan Aku ampuni apa yang telah kamu lakukan, dan Aku tidak peduli. Wahai anak Adam, jika dosa-dosamu setinggi awan di langit, kemudian engkau meminta ampunan kepada-Ku, akan aku ampuni. Wahai anak Adam, sesungguhnya jika engkau datang kepada Ku membawa kesalahan sebesar dunia, kemudian engkau datang kepada Ku tanpa menyekutukan Aku dgn sesuatu pun, pasti Aku akan datang kepadamu dengan ampunan sebesar itu juga"

(HR Tirmidzi) Hadith 42

When Faith is rendered faithless.

To some confidence comes easy. To others it is a concept very alien to practicality.

Who you think you are makes you. But to accept the fact that how people view you is actually important to you can be earth-shattering.

Sometimes, knowledge can confuse you much. Even that of the truth. You think you know everything when in reality, you know nothing. A blink of an eye can either make you or break you.

How can I put it to you, that even now my heart is breaking into tiny little pieces of chunks? And today, I can't seem to comprehend to where the wind will blow it off.

Goodbye Miss Compassion. I will miss you.

Until we meet again, yours truly - Malice.
Test

Murabbi dan mutarabbi

a’uzubillahiminassyaitonirrajim..
bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

dengan namaNya,
ar-Rahman..ar-Rahim..
ar-Rahman atas segalanya
ar-Rahim atas segalanya..

adunan rasa yang disimpan,
jauh di sudut yang paling dalam
buat jiwa-jiwa..yang berjiwa mutarabbi..
meski sudah jauh berjalan
jiwanya masih jiwa mutarabbi
mengharap sayang sang murabbi
mengharap kasih sang murabbi

wahai ‘abidurrahman..
dalam hatimu itu ada rasa sayang
dalam hatimu itu ada rasa kasih
sayang bukan sebarang sayang
kasih bukan sebarang kasih

cuma..cuma..
ingin kuingatkan..
diriku dan kalian
murabbi itu bukan malaikat
murabbi itu bukan nabi yang maksum,

cuma..cuma..
murabbi itu cuma seorang manusia,
yang dengan sedayanya mencuba
menjadikan nabi itu qudwah terbaik dalam hidupnya

dan kenapa, duhai pemilik hati ‘abidurrahman
perlu kalian mengeluh, berkeluh kesah
resah menanti murabbi sepertinya malaikat
menunggu murabbi sepertinya nabi
tanpa ada cacat walau sedikit

benar..benar..
benar murabbi itu seorang pemimpin
benar murabbi itu seorang guru
benar murabbi itu seorang teman
benar, seharusnya begitu

tapi..
ingin diingatkan,
diriku dan kalian..
kita merancang,
Allah jua merancang,
dan Dia adalah sebaik-baik perancang..

sabar..sabar..sabar duhai pemilik hati ‘abidurrahman..
tarbiyah itu dari Allah..

ada harinya tarbiyah itu lewat sang murabbi..
ada harinya tarbiyah itu lewat sang mutarabbi..
ada harinya tarbiyah itu, lewat diri kita sendiri…
tapi datangnya sama, dari Allah..

kenapa harus ada masa berhenti?
kenapa harus ada masa berhenti dari tarbiyah ini?
kenapa..?

yang miliki hatimu itu dirimu sendiri
yang miliki jiwamu itu jiwamu sendiri
yang miliki imanmu itu imanmu sendiri

Allah kan ada..
Allah ada..
Allah..

duhai pemilik hati ‘abidurrahman..
ku katakan begini,
untuk kalian yang memiliki jiwa mutarabbi
untuk diriku yang jua seorang mutarabbi
dan murabbi kita..jua seorang mutarabbi..
sampai..
murabbi teragung..

tidak rindukah kita pada baginda?

murabbi kepada murabbi teragung..?
DIA pemilik nyawa kita..
DIA pemilik hati kita..
DIA pemilik iman kita..
kembali pada asalnya diri.

jadi kenapa harus lari?

Dalam kerisauan

Kita merancang tapi sebaik-baik perancang adalah Allah. Kerisauan tentang apa yang kita inginkan versus apa yang Allah tetapkan selalu menyergah sanubari dan selalunya menimbulkan perasaan syak wasangka terhadap perancangan Yang Maha Merancang. Tapi dalam kita sibuk mempersoalkan apa yang terbaik buat kita, sudahkah kita buat yang terbaik untuk Allah?

Stairway to paradise

Get this: In Islam, men and women are mutually superior to each other.

So beautifully depicted!

Which means that, we can never be equals. We were never equals to begin with. You see, Allah created each of us with different roles to fill in without which, the world would be upside down. We are mutually superior to each other. Subhanallah!

I have posted 3 videos from an episode of the show Stairway To Paradise hosted by Moez Masoud talking on "Women inIslam". Through my previous readings, Alhamdulillah, I have always understood this fact about gender equality; that in reality men and women CAN NOT be equals. However, listening to the discussion held between Moez and two other Muslim women is really a refreshing and empowering notion that has made me all the more thankful and proud that I was born a female. As a woman, I am special and I deserve to respected. Men too deserve to be respected for the role they play! ;)

I am a Medical Student, in one year time I'll be graduating and become a doctor, insyaAllah. But deep down inside, I wish I could one day be a full-time housewife since I would like to be the one raising my own children. Because just like one of the women in the show mentioned, "No one can raise my child like I do!". And choosing to not work does not make me inferior to anybody! No offence, just making a personal mission statement here. Hehhe. =P

Below are some of the points that had really excited and intrigued me. You can go through them if you choose not to listen to all the 3 videos.

1) False intrinsic superiority: a lot of men will make up themselves as the norm, a standard base upon which women should measure herself. To judge herself by man's standards. You're not correct unless you're like men.

2) Something else that men kind of make themselves the standard; like being rational. The idea that to be over rational and less emotional is the human norm and that if you use emotions it's inferior. But sometimes man's rationality becomes his inferiority.

3) Men setting standard and judging women according to it and how that's is unfair for a men to do. For example rational vs emotional. So what? That's because of the roles we have to play.

4) Medically men would die if he gives birth! (Evan I didn't know that!) In this sense, women are physically superior to men.

5) It's about a balance, remember we're not saying men are better than women, or women are better than men. We're saying we're exactly the same in a mutually superior way. It's the justice of Allah.

6) Women are wired to be better than men in multi-tasking. That's a superiority to men. For example, biologically, men can not hear with both ears at the same time. If you talk to them while they are doing something, they can't focus.

7) "And the male is not like the female.." (3:36) We are different. We are better than each other in respected things.

8) The fear that exist out there. Which could make your subconscious feel that the things that men say women are better at, are inferior thing still. But that's just the male glory. Trying to make it seem that whatever he's not good at is not a good thing to be good at.

9) Post-modern feminist (a true feminist, not the twisted feminism): true feminism is to truly empower women to make their own choices. Not to become like men.

10) You don't have to be like a man, to be a equal to a man. (so true!)

11) The way in society, if you choose to do the things the men doesn't do, and choose to be a housewife even if you have a Harvard education, you may be a lawyer, you may be successful, if you make the conscious decision to stay at home with your kids, you are looked down upon by the society. And that's very degrading because, I'm sure this is a cliche, but being a mom is a full time job! (so so true!)

12) If you truly want to affect the world, bring up the children.

13) If you teach a woman, it's like you've taught all of humanity.

14) Men should start respecting the women and they should stop having this false sense of superiority. And women should actually start feeling that they have their own separate feminine identity not according to the standard of a man.

16) Islam is about humility and it's actually male ego that prevents them from doing what the prophet Muhammad saw did like helping his wife do the dishes, etc.

17) The Muslim is in the world to purify the Nafs, the human being is in the world to purify the Nafs. The Muslim believes that and accepts that and submits to God and wants to become a pure person so that you can have a pure heart. On that day (the day of judgment), neither wealth nor children shall avail the human being, accept those who bring to God a sound heart. The prophet saw said "Women have a sound heart, they have more tender hearts, their hearts are more incline to being sound". So, women have a spiritual head-start and it is only because of that that males seem to superficially have, to balance it out a physical head-start in the world like being a CEO or being more rational, but that is only a leader in the physical world. A true submitter to Allah swt, wants to be a leader in the spiritual world. May Allah make the men like women, who can acknowledge that and become spiritual leaders by nature. May Allah give men the degree of fitrah and of primordial norm that women have by nature. May Allah allow us to be less egostitical as men and more about cooperation and not about competition where it's ego, cooperation where it is actually spirit. May Allah swt open up our eyes and remove any oppression and any of the misconceptions in the name of Islam from the heart of Muslims and the actions of Muslim men and women. And allow us to enjoy our separate identities so that we complement and complete each other.

May Allah allow us to learn all we can from this! Enjoy the show~

That system is our enemy

I managed to watch a fast-forward (manually) version of The Arrivals series just now. For those who feel intrigued, you can watch it on youtube. I won't elaborate much here but I just want to share with you some of the things depicted on the documentary series. One of the series mentioned about the once epic trilogy, The Matrix, and how it relates to the world as it is now. I can only leave you with this: you can only see the obvious if your mind is open to it and if you are willing to accept the fact that we have been indoctrinated by a culture that is bringing us to our doom as a human race.

For people who still choose to live in their own comfort zone, you should stop reading now and I would suggest to not ever watch The Arrivals series (I bet you'd really want to see it now, hehhe). Thank you!

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The Matrix is society. It is culture. It is all the things that have been built to blind us to the innate freedoms to be who and what we want to be. And frankly, if you can't unplug, if you can't break away, the things you see remain tinted and obscured by the Matrix.

That's more easily said than done. Some people cannot imagine a world without structure. Without order. Without binary rules to help guide their lives. They wouldn't take the Red Pill for anything. These people cannot imagine a world of freedom, and actually perceive attempts at freedom as threats to their very existence, to the foundations of life itself! They do what they feel they need to do to protect it.

Morpheus: The Matrix is a system, Neo. That system is our enemy. When you're inside, look around. What do you see? Businessmen, teachers, lawyers, carpenters. The very minds of the people we are trying to save. But until we do, these people are still a part of that system, and that makes them our enemy. You have to understand. Most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so annulled, so hopelessly dependent on the system that they will fight to protect it.

Morpheus: I'm trying to free your mind, Neo, but I can only show you the door. You're the one that needs to walk through it. You have to let it all go, Neo. Fear, doubt, disbelief. Free your mind!

Morpheus: The Matrix cannot tell you who you are. Morpheus: There's a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.

What path are we talking about? That will be for another entry.