Being extraordinary: a different perspective

I have been hanging on a thread last week. My faith was at its lowest point. Retrospectively, I have to admit that it was due to many flimsy and foolish excuses.

I notice how my Iman effects my outlook towards life, especially my day to day routine and the problems I face each passing day. My Iman helps me to forgive other people's mistake with an open heart, it guides me to never give up when faced with an adversity, it strengthens my stand and gives me courage to hold true to my principles, even when people think negatively about me. But imminently, it shows me what really counts and what is important in a world that is now full of uncertainties.

I used to evaluate people on material views. If they can talk confidently, I think they are strong. If they scored well in exams, I think they are the smartest. If they are rich, I think they are lucky. If they are beautiful, I think they will always be happy.

But everything has changed. It is no longer from the eye of worldly appearance but from the window of faith that I am seeing things. As if I have come out from a closed, sealed box. For a long time trapped in my own selfish universe, now freed from the claws of self-sufficiency and self-consciousness. I am not self-sufficient, no one is. I'm am now (trying to truly be) God-conscious.

So, if people can talk confidently, they may actually be strong, but stronger are people who are confident to defend what is right and willing to be viewed as 'ghuraba's' as long as what is true prevails. If people scored etremely well in exams, they may actually be smart, but smarter are those who do well in exams but never at the price of their faith. If people are rich, richer are those who are poor materialistically but will contribute everything they have in the fight for the Deen. And beauty? Lies in the purest of heart.

The stranger is not the one
Who empties the house and bids farewell now
But the stranger is he who is serious
While the people around him play
And is awake while the people around him sleep
And follows the best path
While the people around him
Plot and plan in their misguidance

And truthful was the poet when he said:
My friend said to me, I see you as a stranger
Amongst these people without a close friend
I said nay! But the people are strange
I'm in this world and this is my way

This is the stranger
Strange in the view of those
Who jest and mock from amongst mankind
But in the Sight of his Lord, he is at a Noble Station

“Indeed Islaam began as something strange.
And it will return as something strange the way it began.
So give glad tidings to the strangers”
-Prophet Muhammad s.a.w-

Kalau bukan dengan Islam?

Hmm…nak masuk Jannah! tapi…
Sudah! Tak ada tapi-tapi lagi! luhurkanlah,
Berkatilah dan bersihkanlah usiamu sekarang!
Usah toleh ke belakang lagi.

“Kamulah yang beruntung jika kamu beriman.”
Kau dah dapat merasakan cahaya iman ini.
Maka bawalah ia sentiasa bersamamu
Ke ceruk pelusuk mana pun yang kau pergi.
Terangilah jiwa dan kejutkanlah orang-orang yang masih tidur!

“Bangkitlah! Keluarlah kamu daripada lumpur jahiliyah itu!”
Ya! Kalau bukan aku, siapa lagi?
Kalau bukan sekarang, bila lagi?
Kalau bukan dengan ISLAM…?

(tepuk dada tanyalah iman…jawablah sendiri)

Hasil Nukilan: Cahaya Jihad

Generasi Harapan

Dimana dicari pemuda Kahfi
Terasing demi kebenaran hakiki
Dimana jiwa pasukan Badar berani
Menoreh nama mulia perkasa abadi

Umat melolong di gelap kelam
Tiada pelita penyinar terang
Penunjuk jalan kini membungkam
Lalu kapankah fajar kan datang

Mengapa kau patahkan pedangmu
hingga musuh mamapu membobol betengmu
Menjarah menindas dan menyiksa
Dan kita hanya diam sekedar terpana

Bangkitkan negri lahirkan generasi
Pemuda harapan tumbangkan kezaliman

Wajah duia Islam kini memburam
Cerahkan dengan darahmu
Panji Islam telah lama terkulai
Menanti bangkit kepalmu

Sayalah Generasi Harapan Islam!

In Supplication

Kadang-kadang kita lihat perwatakan seseorang tu, kita sangka kita sudah tau hati budinya. Kita rasa kita kenal dia sudah lebih 2 bulan atau 2 tahun atau 20 tahun, maka kita tahu segala-galanya tentang dia. Kita agak kita boleh tafsir apa yang tersirat di fikirannya. Kita anggap dia dengan anggapan yang ada dalam fikiran kita. Kita layan dia seperti apa yang kita fikir dia mahu dilayan.

Tapi sebenarnya kita takkan tahu selagi kita tak tanya apa yang dia fikir dan apa yang dia rasa. Sedangkan seorang ayah pun takkan dapat membaca hati budi anaknya. Sedangkan seorang ibu pun boleh mempunyai tanggapan yang salah terhadap darah dagingnya.

Nah, jadi apa yang harus dilakukan. Adakah sekadar bertanya soalan-soalan baku, atau berborak basi basa dengan tujuan mendapatkan jawapan pantas namun tidak membawa makna? Atau dengan mendiktat pemikiran seseorang itu agar mengikut alur pemikiran kita? Lalu proses pemahaman sebenar seorang insan terbantut atas kelemahan kita untuk merendahkan diri kita ke tahapnya. Terhenti akibat kepentingan diri menegakkan fikrah sanubari yang sebenarnya masih banyak yang kabur dan berlubang.

Tak kira setinggi mana pangkat duniawi kita sebagai seorang pakar bedah, seorang menteri, seorang jurutera? Tak kira setinggi mana pangkat yang Allah beri pada kita sebagai seorang kakak, seorang ibu, soerang ayah, seorang ibu saudara, bapa saudara, nenek, atuk? Tak kira sejauh mana kita berjalan di atas lorong perjuangan ini, sebanyak mana ilmu kita timba, sebesar mana pengalaman kita?

Tidak kira semua itu. Tidak bernilai semua itu. Jika hati tidak mampu merasai, mendalami dan memahami apa yang orang lain rasa.

Jadi Ya Allah, Kau lembutkanlah perasaan ini, bukakanlah hati ini untuk menghancurkan ego dalam diri dan mengikhlaskan rohani supaya seluruh alam ini mendapat manfaat dari insan ini.

[Quran, Surah Al-Baqarah (2:186) : "When my servants ask thee concerning Me, I am indeed close to them: I respond to the prayer of every suppliant when he calleth on Me; let them also, with a will, listen to My call and believe in Me: that they may walk in the right way"]

Medical Aspect

Sudah hampir dua minggu memulakan hidup sebagai pelajar perubatan tahun empat. Sudah boleh dipanggil senior kelas dua dah ni. Lagi setahun saya akan masuk tahun akhir. Wah, sungguh cepat masa berlalu. Rasa-rasa seperti baru sahaja menjejakkan kaki ke tahun pertama, lagak budak hingusan, terpinga-pinga melihat suasana orang 'dewasa' bersosial. Lalu hampir-hampir tenggelam dalam lautan hiburan dan maksiat yang melemaskan. Alhamdulillah, Dia selamatkan sebelum karam ke dasar. Terima kasih Allah!

Entah kenapa hari ni macam tak menentu hati ini. Seperti hiba ada. Seperti sebak pun ada. Melankolik mungin kalau mahu lebih tepat. Kenapa ya? Saya kira mungkin saya terlalu memikirkan kata-kata kebanyakan doktor sakit puan yang mengajar saya sejak saya memulakan tahun empat ini dengan posting Obstetrics and Gynaecology.

"Remaja sekarang usia semuda 13 tahun pun dah ada yang bunting. Ini peristiwa di Malaysia, bukan di tempat lain."

"Mengikut undang-undang perubatan Malaysia, menggugurkan bayi di dalam kandungan merupakan satu kesalahan kriminal. Tapi masih ramai lagi yang melakukan perkara ini di luar sana."

Tapi yang paling sakit sekali...

"Sekarang ni, tak kira pakai tudung ke tak pakai tudung ke, kamu kena tanya mengenai aktiviti seksual bebas mereka!"

Saya tidak salahkan mereka apabila mereka menyampaikan kuliah dalam nada senda. Mungkin sekadar ingin lighten the mood ataupun mungkin mereka sudah cukup stress dengan keadaan di wad jadi dengan niat meringankan beban di kepala lalu berjenaka bersama pelajar-pelajar mereka.

Bukan, bukan sebab itu saya sedih.

"Sesungguhnya, telah Kami ciptakan manusia
dengan sebaik-baik penciptaan." (At-tin: ayat 4)

Allah telah menjadikan kita sebaik-baik ciptaannya. Maka, di mana peranan kita?

Religious Identity

I have been haunted by disturbing thoughts lately. Thoughts of where the whole world, the whole of humanity is leading itself to. I think the destination looks more like the abyss of destruction.. of the soul.

While people are talking about politics and how it is somehow linked to sex nowadays, while issues of national unity and racism is rising like there's no tomorrow, when we blabber on about topics we pretend we know, I wonder if we actually ponder on what the root of the problem really is.

No, I am not a political recluse. I read The Star online (almost daily, hehhe), Malaysiakini is one of my usual stop, and yes The New York Times even, so that I can picture what is actually going on in the "leading" country of the world and it effects on us as a people.

But amidst the 18Sx rated politics happening in Malaysia, despite new vocabs (read: sodomy) that small little children (who aren't suppose to know yet what they mean) get to know day in day out, have we actually taken the time to think through and through what this is all really about?

When national unity is being highlighted commercially but never really felt sincerely, when racism becomes something that is growing inside but always pushed under the rug like it will resolve itself, when we think that unity can actually be achieved by singing a homey song and doing national concerts annually, have we actually thought about where the heart of the problem lies?

I believe we should stop. Stop and think. About life itself.

We worry of what the world is turning into. And so, we talk about changing the world, or at least we think about it. But it should all start from the heart. And the purification of the heart comes from the enlightenment of our own spiritual being which will pervade in everything that we do.

We are emphasizing so much on the material aspects of life, to the detriment of spiritual values, that it is now having a devastating impact on the society. Instead of being located in the heart and in one's relationship to God, self-esteem is now placed on object and our relationship to them. Evidently, religion has been kept secret, private and separated from the real life.

I remember a conversation I had with a Christian friend from UPM, and acutely tucked in my head is the part when he said "I am a devoted Christian, but I think we should put our religion where it belongs. Life is life. Religion is the personal relationship we have with God. It should not get mixed and confused" or something along that line.

But when we cut a piece of a round apple pie and eat it, the pie won't be whole anymore won't it?

"The democratic man live day by day, gratifying the desire that occurs to him, at one time drinking and listening to the flute, at another drinking nothing but water and reducing; now practicing gymnastics then, idling again and neglecting everything; sometimes spending his time as though he were occupied with philosophy. Often he engages in politics and, jumping up, says and does whatever chances to come to him; and if he ever admires soldiers, he turns in that way. There is neither order nor necessity in his life, but calling this life sweet, free, and blessed, he follows it throughout." -The Republic, Plato-

I am trying not to fit into this category.