Thank You Allah

"I was so far from you.. Yet to me you were always so close.. I wandered lost in the dark.. I closed my eyes toward the signs.. You put in my way.. I walked everyday.. Further and further away from you.."

Hati terasa syahdu melihat alam sambil mendengar lagu Maher Zain 'Thank You Allah' terngiang-ngiang di telinga. Rasa tak rugi buat decision nak beli iPod Nano 2 minggu yang lalu (thank you Abah belanja separuh harga! Hehe.) di PC Fair, hampir 5 G digunakan untuk upload ceramah ustaz-ustaz saja, 1G lagu dan masih berbaki 2 G. Tapi tak tau nak letak ape dah! Eh, macam mana boleh melencong pasal iPod pulak ni?

Aci tak kalau nak switch to english? Haha.

I went jogging around Lake Titiwangsa actually just now. Don't know why I suddenly felt the urge to jog. Maybe because I had a huge lunch in the afternoon (kenduri di kampung) and then while we were travelling back to KL from Kuantan, it was pure hibernation in deep sleep for me in the car. Pity dad had to drive alone cause everyone else was in dreamland almost the whole distance. Right, I'm diverting from the real issue again. Sorry. =P

"I never thought about.. All the things you have given to me.. I never thanked you once.. I was too proud.. To see the truth.. And prostrate to you.. Until I took the first step.. And that's when you opened the doors for me.. Now Allah, I realized what I was missing.. By being far from you.."

The skies were clear but gloomy, the trees were dancing to a secret sad melody only they know and the birds swaying around the middle of the lake, round and round and round. It was like I was suck into their world, submerging myself into the soul of the earth, feeling their heartaches as if they were my own.

To see mankind sink deep into a world of despair and corruption. To see mankind, forget their true purpose in life and live so acutely buried in their own selfishness.

And remembering that once, once upon a time, I was part of the atrocity. Lost in a jungle of lust and anger. Thinking that life was only about getting what I want. That death is the end of it, so why not live life to the fullest?

"Allah, I wanna thank you.. I wanna thank you for all the things that you've done.. You've done for me through all my years I've been lost.. You guided me from all the ways that were wrong.. Indeed you gave me hope.. "

It was as if a candle was lit up in the middle of dark night. A voice calling you softly to walk towards the light. Nudging you, waking you up from your slumber. Telling you that there is more to life. Then, when you have illuminated your candle and you have felt how utterly blissful it is to live in the light of the truth.. the obligation and the burden of responsibilty dawned upon you that now it's you who have to go out and light up other people's candles too.

No matter how hard it is, not matter how far the path of truth takes you away from all the things that you desire. You have to. You just have to. Because at this point, your desires goes beyond what is merely in this mortal life, what you really want will only be given to you in the eternal life but only if you go on, giving, spreading, loving, fighting, guiding, helping other people to get to the light too. And ultimately the only reason you can give is.. if you don't, who else will?

"I wanna thank you for bringing me home.."

"He begged forgiveness from his Lord and fell down prone, prostrating, and repented. So We forgave him for that and he has nearness to Us and a good Homecoming."
(Surah Sad: 21-25)

"..those who convey Allah's Message and fear Him and do not anyone but Allah. Allah suffices as a Reckoner."
(Surat al-Ahzab: 39)