Finding Myself

"Hey Shawn, it's such a coincidence to bum into you here!"

"Well, methinks it must be the weather!"

Ever heard of the usual conversation like the above? It seems like there is nothing wrong with it at first glance but going in depth of the meaning behind it, as a Muslim, it goes against the very core of our Aqidah. Because we believe that in this world there is no coincidence, only what have been preordained by Allah.

Jadi, jika semuanya sudah berada dalam pengetahuan Allah Yang Maha Adil lagi Maha Mengetahui apa yang terbaik untuk kita, why in the world should we waste our time worrying about it?!

Tapi jangan salah faham tau, sudah semestinya kita wajib berusaha sebab usaha itu adalah sunatullah dalam melayakkan diri kita mendapat pertolonganNya, pahala dariNya dan yang paling best redhaNya.

So, I believe that Allah really knew that I needed to hear this song to enlighten my scarred soul because it suddenly popped out from my MP3 player when I ignited the car at the most accurate moment. It was no mere coincidence. Thank you Allah! I love You. =)

Moga kita semua menuju Husnul Khatimah, kematian yang baik insyaAllah.

"I was so far from you.. Yet to me you were always so close.. I wandered lost in the dark.. I closed my eyes toward the signs.. You put in my way.. I walked everyday.. Further and further away from you.."

Hati terasa syahdu melihat alam sambil mendengar lagu Maher Zain 'Thank You Allah' terngiang-ngiang di telinga. Rasa tak rugi buat decision nak beli iPod Nano 2 minggu yang lalu (thank you Abah belanja separuh harga! Hehe.) di PC Fair, hampir 5 G digunakan untuk upload ceramah ustaz-ustaz saja, 1G lagu dan masih berbaki 2 G. Tapi tak tau nak letak ape dah! Eh, macam mana boleh melencong pasal iPod pulak ni?

Aci tak kalau nak switch to english? Haha.

I went jogging around Lake Titiwangsa actually just now. Don't know why I suddenly felt the urge to jog. Maybe because I had a huge lunch in the afternoon (kenduri di kampung) and then while we were travelling back to KL from Kuantan, it was pure hibernation in deep sleep for me in the car. Pity dad had to drive alone cause everyone else was in dreamland almost the whole distance. Right, I'm diverting from the real issue again. Sorry. =P

"I never thought about.. All the things you have given to me.. I never thanked you once.. I was too proud.. To see the truth.. And prostrate to you.. Until I took the first step.. And that's when you opened the doors for me.. Now Allah, I realized what I was missing.. By being far from you.."

The skies were clear but gloomy, the trees were dancing to a secret sad melody only they know and the birds swaying around the middle of the lake, round and round and round. It was like I was suck into their world, submerging myself into the soul of the earth, feeling their heartaches as if they were my own.

To see mankind sink deep into a world of despair and corruption. To see mankind, forget their true purpose in life and live so acutely buried in their own selfishness.

And remembering that once, once upon a time, I was part of the atrocity. Lost in a jungle of lust and anger. Thinking that life was only about getting what I want. That death is the end of it, so why not live life to the fullest?

"Allah, I wanna thank you.. I wanna thank you for all the things that you've done.. You've done for me through all my years I've been lost.. You guided me from all the ways that were wrong.. Indeed you gave me hope.. "

It was as if a candle was lit up in the middle of dark night. A voice calling you softly to walk towards the light. Nudging you, waking you up from your slumber. Telling you that there is more to life. Then, when you have illuminated your candle and you have felt how utterly blissful it is to live in the light of the truth.. the obligation and the burden of responsibilty dawned upon you that now it's you who have to go out and light up other people's candles too.

No matter how hard it is, not matter how far the path of truth takes you away from all the things that you desire. You have to. You just have to. Because at this point, your desires goes beyond what is merely in this mortal life, what you really want will only be given to you in the eternal life but only if you go on, giving, spreading, loving, fighting, guiding, helping other people to get to the light too. And ultimately the only reason you can give is.. if you don't, who else will?

"I wanna thank you for bringing me home.."

You have to believe that whatever Allah puts you through is the best for you. Best means there is nothing better.
Even if you feel like the world is crushing down on you, believe!
Believe that He knows what is best for you. BELIEVE.
And you shall be at peace.
InsyaAllah.


If you ask me about love
And what I know about it
My answer would be
It’s everything about Allah
The pure love, to our souls

The Creator of you and me
The heaven and whole universe
The One that made us whole and free
The guardian of His true believers

So when the time is hard
There’s no way to turn
As He promise He will always be there
To bless us with His love and His mercy
Cause, as He promise He will always be there

He’s always watching us, guiding us
And He knows what’s in all in our heart
So when you lose your way
To Allah you should turn
As He promise He will always be there

He'd bring us out from the darkness into the light
Subhanallah, praise belongs to You for everything
Shouldn’t never feel afraid of anything
As long as we follow His guidance all the way
Through the short time we have in this life
Soon it'll all be over
And we’ll be in His heaven and we’ll all be fine

So when the time gets hard
There’s no way to turn
As He promise He will always be there
To bless us with His love and His mercy
Cause, as He promise He will always be there
He’s always watching us, guiding us
And He knows what’s in all in our heart
So when you lose your way
To Allah you should turn

Apabila Allah menyeru "Kun Fa Ya Kun", you have no power to stop it...

Pagi itu saya mendapati mereka sungguh teruja merancang untuk ke walimah ukhti itu pada hari Sabtu. Saya tumpang gembira. Tengah hari, mereka mengkhabarkan berita tidak terduga itu. Pengantin lelaki dan keluarganya kemalangan! Kami terdiam dan berdoa dalam hati. Moga pengantin dan keluarganya selamat...

Sambil memandu mereka ke destinasi yang lain, kami bertukar-tukar cerita. Berita tengah hari itu tetap menjadi topik utama. Tiba-tiba mendapat khabar baru, pengantin sudah kembali ke rahmatullah. Hening. Hati saya bagai direnggut seribu rasa. Subhanallah, kematian itu benar datang dengan tiba-tiba dan tanpa diduga. Saat mendengar khabar kemalangan daripada pengantin perempuan, kami semua tidak terbayangkan kemalangan yang begitu dahsyat.

Mereka mula menimbangkan bagaimana mahu menziarahi pengantin yang juga merupakan teman serumah mereka sedang saya baru menjemput mereka beramai-ramai membantu program tajmi' kami. Lalu seorang ukhti berbicara dengan penuh ketenangan, "Kita teruskan saja. Andai kita pula mati nanti, ada adik-adik ini yang bakal menyambung tugas kita". Masya Allah! Luhur sungguh hati ukhti yang baru saya temui dua-tiga kali ini. Malah bantuan yang mereka semua hulurkan itu sememangnya begitu bermakna dan mengesankan adik-adik. Hanya Allah yang dapat membalas pengorbanan mereka semua. Lalu di pagi Sabtu itu mereka bergegas ke rumah ukhti pengantin di utara.

Saya terfikir, begitu besar ujian yang diberi Allah kepada ukhti pengantin. Tentu saja selayaknya dengan iman yang besar juga yang Allah lebih mengetahui dimiliki oleh ukhti itu. Lalu bagaimana dengan saya? Belum tentu cukup kuat untuk menghadapi ujian sehebat itu. Subhanallah. Moga ketabahan ukhti mengharungi ujian ini nanti bakal menginspirasikan yang lainnya pula. Teringat bagaimana kisah Ummu Sulaym yang kehilangan anaknya...dan betapa teguh pendiriannya. Betapa hebat beliau menyantuni Abu Talhah walau besar terasa kesedihan atas pemergian anak kesayangan. Semoga pemergian Akh pengantin di bawah redha Allah juga dan diampuni segala dosanya juga kedua ibu bapanya.

Sedih melihat laporan media yang ternyata menggunakan cara yang salah untuk membuatkan cerita itu lebih menyayat hati. Tentunya mereka ialah orang-orang yang memilih untuk membina segitiga cinta, dengan Allah di puncak tertingginya. Mereka memilih untuk cinta yang halal, cinta hanya selepas aqad dilafazkan.

Peristiwa yang tentunya mengandungi seribu hikmah daripada Allah. Sebagai pengajaran bagi yang hidup, bukanlah berkahwin itu yang menjadi faktor kematian. Atau memandu kereta berwarna merah. Tetapi peringatan bahawa kematian itu pasti datang bila-bila, yang muda atau yang tua. Di jalan raya atau di kompleks membeli belah atau di mana saja yang dikehenadi Allah. Yang pasti, tanya pada diri.... sudah bersediakah kita?

Lalu bagi mereka yang masih terlekat dan terikat dengan dunia, harus diingatkan. Dunia ini hanyalah medan ujian, destinasi pasti dan kekal abadi kita selepas ini adalah akhirat. Lantas, apa yang telah kita persiapkan di dunia ini untuk memilih tempat terbaik di akhirat nanti? Oh, kematian itu misteri buat kita. Tidak tahu bila. Tapi yang pasti, KEMATIAN SEMAKIN DEKAT. Persis bom masa yang semakin rancak berdetik akan meletup.

Lihatlah dunia dengan pandangan tembus ke akhirat!

Taken from (click): The Eternal Garden