Tuesday, May 29, 2012

What will come of it?

My comrades.. my sisters.. 
I fear that you have forgotten me,
Do you still miss me? 
Are you still praying for me?
Or have I lost that privilege
Of having a thousand benediction come my way,
Since I chose silence as my companion?

I'm treading a lost journey,
I'm searching for a drowning soul,
When will I find her again, I wonder?

Saturday, November 05, 2011

Blast of Iman

I feel like I am at a crossroad, among one of the crossroads of my life. A decision has to be made. A very eminent one. One that will affect most importantly my Iman and after that, the lives of those I love most. It will definitely affect my life, but I think I can bear with that. I might have to suffer for awhile to adjust to the changes I will go through but to think of the misery that I will bring to the people I love... THAT I don't think I can endure.

But... to be stuck HERE is not an option. 

Have you ever felt lost like you can't be saved any more? Despair is a very very very cruel emotion. It can make you feel like you are stuck in the deepest of the deepest ocean. No one will want to save you because trying will only mean risking their life. You feel like giving up, to give out your last breath and surrender to the darkness of the sea and ultimately the blackness of death.

Ever so suddenly a rush of air was blasted into your lungs. You will gulp that precious whirl of air greedily, ferociously, savagely... because your very life depends on it.

What if it was your Faith that is in that deep dark sea of sins and ignorance? And that blast of air was a blast of Hidayah to your soul that will  increase your Iman and save you from the blackness of hell fire?

I think it is time I force myself to take that gulp. It feels like this will be my last chance to rise up to the surface and beyond... and even if it isn't my last, I don't think I want to risk putting my Faith on  the edge again...

Bismillahi tawakkaltu a'lallah!

I am strong only because Allah put me right here, right now. He knows I am strong enough for whatever He puts me through.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Saturday, July 23, 2011

It feels like Deja Vu

Sometimes I just wish I could turn back time and erase every mistake I did, every hurtful word I have said, every bad choice I have made.

I keep telling myself that I am strong.

But everyone wants to feel like someone cares.

And everyone wants to know they're not alone.