Saturday, November 13, 2010

Win Win

Sesungguhnya Allah telah ridha terhadap orang-orang mukmin ketika mereka berjanji setia kepadamu di bawah pohon, maka Allah mengetahui apa yang ada dalam hati mereka lalu menurunkan ketenangan atas mereka dan memberi balasan kepada mereka dengan kemenangan yang dekat (waktunya).
[Al-fath - 46:18]

Kemenangan yang dekat waktunya. Bertahan hati, sebentar sahaja lagi.
Help is coming, insyaAllah!

Saturday, November 06, 2010

I miss you..

Aku rindu amat! T_T

Demi cintaMu ya Allah
Pada Muhammad nabiMu
Ampunilah dosaku
Wujudkan harapanku
Ya Rasullallah
Siapa yang cinta pada nabinya
Pasti bahagia dalam hidupnya

Muhammadku Muhammadku dengarlah seruanku
Aku rindu aku rindu kepadamu Muhammadku

Kau yang mengaku cinta kepada nabimu
Kau yang mengaku merindukan nabimu
Jika kau benar-benar cinta dan rindu
Kepada Muhammad nabimu
Taati perintahNya, tinggalkan laranganNya
Teladani akhlaknya
Niscaya kelak kau akan berjumpa dengan Rasullallah
Niscaya kelak kau akan berkumpul dengan Rasullallah

Kau ajarkan hidup ini untuk saling mengasihi
Ku tanamkan dalam hati kuamalkan sejak dini
Engkaulah nabi pembawa cinta

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Maher Zain: A da'ei in his own way!

The first time I heard Maher Zain's 'Insha Allah' almost a year ago, I had tears in my eyes and a swell on my chest. He depicted my feelings and my experiences so well I almost thought he was reading my mind. He started out small (with his first single, can't remember whether it was 'Insha Allah' or "Palestine Will Be Free') in October 2009 but now has turned out to be huge a star through out the whole world, among Muslims and Non-Muslims alike. Alhamdulillah, I believe that Allah has sent him to us in our time as one of His medium of Hidayah (Guidance) to all. Through his songs, many has viewed Islam differently, better inyaAllah.

Here's a short biography of Maher Zain. May Allah repay him with Jannah for his hard work in spreading Islam the best way he can. Let us take example of his good character and learn from his experience, so that we can believe with utmost confidence that as long as there is still life in us, WE CAN CHANGE FOR THE BETTER!! InsyaAllah.

Leaving behind a lucrative career in the mainstream music industry in New York wherein he worked with internationally renowned producer RedOne who has worked with chart-topping artists Akon, Lady Gaga, Enrique Iglesias and the late Michael Jackson to mention just a few, Maher chose instead to make music which reflects his roots of being both European, Arab and Muslim and he is working with Awakening Records (who launched the career of British artist Sami Yusuf) to inspire the youth across the world.

In early March 2010, Maher's debut album Thank You Allah (released by Awakening Records) was the No.1 highest selling album on Amazon (in the world music section). Maher has already had concerts in Sweden, Canada, Australia, US, UK, France, Egypt, Algeria, and Bahrain to mention just a few. With his passion, incredible talent and unique style, the sky is the limit for Maher.

Maher’s first musical inspiration came from his father, who was a singer himself, performing locally in the beautiful Mediterranean city of Tripoli - Lebanon. Fascinated by the music and instruments, Maher got his first keyboard when he was only ten and ever since music officially became an integral part of Maher’s world. His family moved to Sweden when Maher was only 8, where he continued his schooling, and later entered university and got a Bachelors degree in Aeronautical Engineering. With things changing around him, one thing remained the same - his strong passion for music. He would spend late nights at school with his friends where they would sing, rap, compose and experiment with music in every way. It didn’t take him long to realize that music became an integral part of who he is.

After being involved for a while in the music scene as a music producer, Maher was introduced to RedOne, a gifted music producer who was fast rising in the music scene in Sweden. Maher started working with RedOne and later moved to New York. For a few years he was in the middle of the hot rush of the NY music industry, working with chart topping artists such as Kat Deluna on her debut album including smash hits ‘Whine up’ and ‘Run the Show’.

Maher had what many would describe as a dream job for someone so young in such a glamorous business, but for Maher it felt like this was far from what he would call ‘the dream’, “I loved the music but I hated everything that surrounded it, it always felt like something wasn’t right”.

In January 2009, Maher Zain decided to work on an album that reflects his identity – Arab, Western and Muslim - and signed with Awakening Records. Maher’s debut album Thank You Allah reached the number 1 spot on Amazon’s World Music charts and number 9 on the R&B charts. In January 2010, in a music competition organized by Nujoom FM (Egypt’s biggest music radio station) Maher’s track ‘Ya Nabi Salam Alayka’ was voted as the Best Song for 2009. Runners up included big names like Hussein Aljismi, Mohammed Mounir and Sami Yusuf. Maher has already performed at sold out concerts in Algeria, Australia, Belgium, Canada, Egypt, England, France, Holland, Sweden, and the US amongst others and is fast becoming the ‘next superstar of Islamic music’.

Maher Zain’s album mixes the sounds of R&B with traditional spiritual, soul and contemporary pop music, not just updating spiritual music and inshad but fearlessly reviving it with contemporary flair. Maher’s debut album Thank You Allah is an instant classic of great power and timeless, unassailably intense spirituality. Maher is fast becoming recognized as one of modern Islamic Music’s seminal voices after his ground-breaking single and animated music video “Palestine Will Be Free,” his music video “Insha Allah” shot on location in London and directed by famous British director Mike Harris who has worked with Coldplay and Madonna among others, and his latest video “The Chosen One” - about the life and the peaceful teachings of Prophet Muhammad - shot in Los Angeles. Maher Zain is clearly poised to take up modern Islamic Music to a new level.

As a supremely gifted artist and producer, Maher brings his music to a wider audience not by watering down his message, but by making songs of supreme power, conviction, and glorious beauty, fusing elements of R&B, traditional spiritual music, pop, Arabic and Turkish music into daring arrangements.

After his experience in the Music Industry, Maher feels blessed to able to finally find the right way, put his talent to its best use, and produce music that is closer to his roots, and he feels like it’s his turn now to help others through his music to do the same: “If I had one thing I’d like to tell people out there it would be that it’s so easy to see the right way if we just open our eyes and look properly; that’s what happened to me.”

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

All alone

Sometimes, it is so hard to persevere when you feel that you have no one to turn to or support you. But.. we have Allah by our side! Never ever forget that.

Every time you feel like you cannot go on
You feel so lost
And that you're so alone
All you is see is night
And darkness all around
You feel so helpless
You can’t see which way to go
Don’t despair and never loose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side

Insya Allah you’ll find your way

Everytime you can make one more mistake
You feel you can’t repent
And that its way too late
Your’re so confused, wrong decisions you have made
Haunt your mind and your heart is full of shame
Don’t despair and never loose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side

Turn to Allah
He’s never far away
Put your trust in Him
Raise your hands and pray

Ya Allah
Guide my steps don’t let me go astray
You’re the only one that showed me the way

Sunday, October 17, 2010

A candle in the dark.

Left and right people are going against the Word of the Almighty, cheering the council of the Devil's herd.

And we are stuck in the midst of chaos and confusion. A spark of truth in our hearts remain, but not strong enough to light the gloom in our soul.

Yet we strongly adhere to what we hold on to dear, that it is not the dark that has befell but only an eclipse waiting to fly.

Because we choose to light a candle, rather than curse the darkness.

[18:29] Proclaim: "This is the truth from your Lord," then whoever wills let him believe, and whoever wills let him disbelieve. We have prepared for the transgressors a fire that will completely surround them. When they scream for help, they will be given a liquid like concentrated acid that scalds the faces. What a miserable drink! What a miserable destiny!

[18:30] As for those who believe and lead a righteous life, we never fail to recompense those who work righteousness.

[18:31] They have deserved gardens of Eden wherein rivers flow. They will be adorned therein with bracelets of gold, and will wear clothes of green silk and velvet, and will rest on comfortable furnishings. What a wonderful reward; what a wonderful abode!

Friday, October 15, 2010

Redha = Contentment

There are times in life when you are at a certain point and then you realize that you can never have imagined your life would be like this a year ago, maybe even 5 months ago. The things you worry about or were tormented with in the end turned out to be just fine. And then it suddenly hits you.. all this while Allah has always had your back. When He promised that He will provide for you, that whatever happens to you IS the best for you, He meant exactly that!

Say: "Nothing shall ever happen to us except what Allah has ordained for us. He is our Maula (Lord, Helper and Protector). And in Allah let the believers put their trust." [At-taubah - 9:51]

This recognition of divine intervention always, more often than not occurs in retrospect. When everything has settled down. When you have moved on with life after calamity strikes. When your worries are gone with the wind of time. When you have accepted what has been given to you. And then you look back at your life. In retrospect.

It is always in our reflection of ourselves (our muhasabah) that we will see how benevolent and bountiful Allah's Love and Mercy really is. The times we take to retract ourselves from the world of chaos and materialism outside and look inside carefully, these are those times that awareness and acceptance will come to us. And peace will befall us, a peace that can make even the most weary and discontented, serene and calm.

That is what we call Redha.

"As for him who gives (in charity) and keeps his duty to Allah, and believes in the Best reward from Allah (i.e. Allah will compensate him for what he will spend in Allah's way). So, We will make smooth for him the path of Bliss.." [Al-layl - 92:5-7]

"And have in their minds no favour from anyone for which a reward is expected in return, But only the desire to seek for the Countenance of their Lord Most High. And soon will they attain
(complete) satisfaction."
[Al-layl - 92:17-19]

Monday, October 11, 2010

A reminder to myself.

The religion itself becomes a mean by which you promote your own ego. It's ironic because the religion was revealed for us to be humble ourselves. But now we are using that very Deen to express our arrogance.

Is the religion here to serve our needs, or are we here to serve Allah's Deen?

I have a very bad case of ego!
Please help me correct myself O Allah.

Muhasabah Diri: Usaha yang belum cukup

Graf "Bagaimana boleh bertahan?". Bagaimana memahaminya?

Ianya boleh di bincangkan bagaimana atau betul dan salahnya. Tapi ia hanya pengalaman dari sunnatullah. Kita berusaha dan orang lain juga berusaha… tak semestinya kita bangga dengan pencapaian kita. Maybe ada formula lain yang lebih baik.

Fasa semasa belajar adalah paling kritikal dalam generasi Y. Di masa itu ia umpama besi yang berada di leburan atau relaunya. Semasa itulah masa untuk dibentuk oleh apa saja ideologi dan trend. Siapa yang cepat dan mampu bekerja keras dengan menggunakan sunnatullah yang paling tepat, nescaya dia berjaya membentuk seramai mungkin bentuk-bentuk manusia yang ada di dalam masyarakat.

Oleh kerana masa itu pendek dan masa pelajarlah saat paling mudah untuk diubah, maka saat itu juga perlu dibentuk ke tahap ke paling maksima. Maksima dari segi swing kepada Islamnya, maksima dari segi semangatnya, maksima dari segi keinginan dan rasa perlu kepada ilmu. Juga maksima untuk berpisah dari jahiliyyah akidah, perasaan dan kelakuan tingkahlaku.

Berjaya atau tidak semasa pembentukan dan pembenturan semasa fasa menjadi pelajar, itulah yang membentuk keinginan hidupnya semasa selepas belajar. Ingin atau tidaknya untuk meneruskan apa yang difahami dan dipegangi semasa zaman belajar ditentukan banyak oleh ia mencapai tahap lulus atau melepasi ‘area’ gelombang. Selepas gelombang akan ada kawasan tenang dan aman. Sesiapa yang tidak dapat melepasi area gelombang itulah maka ia akan terumbang ambing selepas zaman belajar!

Oleh itu…

Usaha maksima perlu dilakukan semasa zaman belajar…. adakah anda sebagai murabbi sanggup bertungkus lumus untuk itu? Atau mad’u anda akan meninggalkan anda dengan senyum selepas zaman belajar mereka dan berkata: “Terima kasih kak kerana membantu saya ber’halaqah’ semasa saya di IPT…. Tapi lepas kerja ni tengoklah dulu samada saya akan bersama atau tidak…!".

Murabbinya terkebil-kebil…. di mana silap aku?

Tapi semua hati manusia adalah di dalam kuasa al-Rahman, di bolak balikkan ke mana yang dikehendakiNya.

Dipetik dari:

Sunday, October 03, 2010

Questions and answers?

I just realize today that most of the time in life we don't always get the answers to our questions at the exact time we are looking for it or at the very second we want it. It will come to you at the right time, when you are ready mentally, emotionally and spiritually to accept it.

And that's the hard part.

To be patient until you reach that right time actually zaps a lot of your energy off. Especially if you keep dwelling on it and blaming everything and everyone else in the world for not helping you get to the answers you wanted.

So the good thing to do is to let go. To stop blaming. To keep looking. To be patient until the time comes. In the mean time, to build yourself up, to prepare yourself so that when the answers come to you, you are strong enough to use the answers you get to move on to becoming a better, greater person to those around you.

I hope you're enlightened by my entry in the way that best suits you. Even if you don't really know what I'm talking about! Hehe. ;)

Penning off, for now.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Keindahan Islam terletak pada akhlak ummatnya.

Allah.. terlalu lama hati ini tidak mencoretkan sesuatu di ceruk kecil ini. Moga Allah terima niat kerdil saya agar penulisan yang tak seberapa ini dipandangNya sebagai amal soleh di sana kelak.

Betapa saya sedar lemahnya diri dalam menjalani jalan yang penuh simpang siur ini. Jalan yang sukar penuh berduri tapi pada hakikatnya amat manis bagi mereka yang mengerti erti 'pengorbanan' yang sebenar.

Terkadang dek kerana hati yang penuh noda-noda hitam, perasaan sombong diri dan takabur mudah saja meresap masuk. Gunung nan tinggi terasa mudah didaki dengan kaki sendiri, langit terasa dekat digapai dengan tangan sendiri. Semuanya atas usaha sendiri. Aku lah yang hebat.. aku lah yang baik.. aku lah yang paling banyak berkorban.. Aduh, semuanya aku, aku, aku!! Habis, siapa yang menciptakan kaki dan tangan itu? Siapa yang memberi kudrat untuk memanjat gunung itu? Dan sesungguhnya, siapa yang memberi hati untuk merasai perasaan serta keinginan yang kuat sehingga boleh memanjat dan menggapai segala-galanya, kalau bukan Dia Sang Pencipta yang Maha Hebat?!

Astagfirullah. Astagfirullah. Astagfirullah.

Buat mereka yang terlalu istimewa buat diri saya (Abang, Ibu, Abah, Kak If, Tiqah, Afiq, close families, Ikhwah Akhwat and close friends serta semua yang mengenali diri ini, especially those who are reading this - I just had a strong feeling to put your names down), maafkan saya kerana terlalu banyak cacat dan celanya akhlak yang dipamerkan. Sedangkan akhlak itulah cerminan kepada utuhnya keimanan serta hubungan saya dengan Sang Ilah di Langit sana. Akhlak itulah petunjuk kepada tahap kekuatan semangat saya dalam menjalani apa yang saya dakwahkan.

Moga Allah bantu saya untuk mencantikkan lagi akhlak dan layanan saya terhadap mereka yang saya sayangi kerana Allah. Amin, Ya Rabb Al-Amin.

Terlalu banyak tarbiyah yang ingin Allah ajarkan pada kita melalui peristiwa-peristiwa yang Dia sendiri susunkan untuk kita sebenarnya. Cuma kita sahaja yang perlu memilih untuk belajar dari kesilapan itu atau terus-menurus membiarkan diri kita berada di dalam kegelapan jahiliyyah.

Benarlah, keindahan Islam itu terletak pada akhlak ummatnya!

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Can I make a difference?

I am at the centre of a mount, bearing my soul to the world. My head spinning and spinning and spinning around. There seem to be only darkness around me and only the music of chaos that my ears can hear. It feels like my fellow humans are condemned to a lifetime of sufferings.

The strong always pushing down the meek and dainty, always wanting to be on top, always afraid of giving what they believe is theirs to keep. Those below always in a perpetual state of doom and sorrow, where hope to them is not something to hold on to.

I am trying.. I am trying..

"And never give up hope of Allah's soothing Mercy:
Truly no one despairs of Allah's soothing Mercy
except those who have no faith."

Thursday, August 12, 2010


Rasulullah (Sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said: 'When a man dies and his relatives are busy in funeral, there stands an extremely handsome man by his head. When the dead body is shrouded, that man gets in between the shroud and the chest of the deceased.

Thereafter he turns to his dead companion and says, 'I am the Qur'an, which you used to read, sometimes in a loud voice and sometimes in a low voice. Do not worry. After the interrogation of Munkar and Naker, you will have no grief.'

When the interrogation is over, the handsome man arranges for him from Al-Mala'ul A'laa (the angels in Heaven) silk bedding filled with musk.

Rasulullah (Sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said: 'On the Day of Judgement, before Allah, no other Intercessor will have a greater status than the Qur'an, neither a Prophet nor an angel.'

Lets all read lots and lots of the Quran! Especially on this blessed month. =)

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Strength comes from within!

Have you ever tried walking hundreds of miles in the middle of the desert, after being deserted by your own kin, towards a village. Your heart carried a burden so heavy that made the mountains cried, hardships after hardships, misfortunes following one another. Would you still have hope?

Hope that the community you were moving towards to would welcome you with open arms and greet the truth you brought with a thirst of a homeless man.

And what if when you were there, you were drench with cruel and spiteful chants, run down by little children throwing sticks and rocks at you, when in your deepest of hearts all you want was for them to be saved from a never-ending torment of burning hot inferno.

Would you still hope for the best and pray that the next generation would be better? Or would you have just given up?

Strength comes from Allah. From a believe that nothing can stop the good getting to you if God wants it for you, nothing can save you from harm if God knows that it is indeed the best for you.

To believe that in the face of all difficulties, all doors will be opened to those who submit themselves to Allah - that is the only solution that can provide you with peace, comfort, happiness and blessings in this world and the hereafter.

Note to self: You don't always get what you want. Learn to be thankful with what you already have!

Friday, July 23, 2010

Love is...

Love is more than just small or big gestures showing how much we care. Love is more than just saying sweet words to make the people we love feel happy. Love is more than about saying I love you.

Love is about wanting, praying and working for eternal bliss for your loved ones.

My ukhtis showed me this. My syuyukhs thought me this. But most importantly My Dearest, the person who worried about my faith, prayed for my hereafter and loved me more than he loved himself even when I was not even born yet, my beloved prophet Rasulullah s.a.w.

Eternal bliss -
kebahagiaan di akhirat. Akhirat, where there is no end.

Have I worked hard enough and sacrificed everything I can so that the people I love can know eternal bliss in the hereafter? I am scared to answer the question.

When your soul feels dark and your heart feels hard, pray to Allah. So that He may cleanse and purify them.
Jangan sampai terkunci mati!

Allah membersihkan siapa yang dikehendakiNya.
Dan Allah Maha Mendengar lagi Maha Mengetahui

Thursday, July 08, 2010


I was reading about activation of complement system following deposition of immune complexes at the glomerular capillaries in my new "Pengantin/Bride's" room, when my dad knocked the door and popped his head inside. I bet I look a mess, with books strewn all over the floor, trying to get a comprehensive understanding of a topic I already know on the basis. Hehe.

"Doesn't it feel awkward?"
"Why? Awkard what?"
"Well, you know, studying and this."
"This what?" I already figured out what he meant but I was trying to play dumb. Naughty me.
"Studying and.." smiling while looking around the room.
"You mean getting married while studying? Studying and getting married?"
"No. It's not awkward. You did it."
"NO I DIDN'T!!" Haha, abah risau lah tu orang tuduh dia! =P
"Yes, you did. You did it while you were studying for your Masters and phD."
"Itu lain lah. *mumbling something uncomprehensible*" Closed the door and when to do his stuff while still mumbling uncomprehensible disagreements.

Do I wish that things happened the way I wanted them to? Heck, yes. But can I change what has happened? Well, I can learn from my mistakes but in the end I have to hold strong, steadfast to the believe that whatever that has happened has been destined by my Creator to be the best for me... and my faith ultimately. And no, I can't change a thing.

I also have to believe that I am the one responsible to derive meaning out of my own life. That I make my own happiness out of whatever Allah has provided me with, be it easy or hard. That what people think of me is important so that I can improve myself from criticism but it is my choice to feel positive or negative about it. That the usual, comfortable, normal, 'successful' path is what everyone dream of but the road not taken (sometimes you choose to take it, sometimes you accidently stumble upon it, and sometimes like in my case you are thrown without warning into it) can present you with so many delightful surprises and probably a lost too to those who took the usual path.

Some might take pity of me, some might worry about me (my parents fall into this category), some might even say I deserved it. But
those who truly understand the meaning of life, of its' ups and down, would be profoundly and sincerely happy for me.

I am not jubilant for the sins that I have commited in the past, but I feel blessed and truly content for the life that Allah has written for me.
And with that contentment, comes a readiness to be tested by Allah, insyaAllah. For when it comes down to it, what I'm really aiming for is not happiness in this world but in Paradise! Therein lies the best.

[29:2] Do the people think that they will be left to say, "We believe," without being put to the test?

[29:3] We have tested those before them, for God must distinguish those who are truthful, and He must expose the liars.

[29:4] Do those who commit sins think that they can ever fool us? Wrong indeed is their judgment.

[29:5] Anyone hoping to meet God, (should know that) such a meeting with God will most assuredly come to pass. He is the Hearer, the Omniscient.

[29:6] Those who strive, strive for their own good. God is in no need of anyone.

[29:7] Those who believe and lead a righteous life, We will certainly remit their sins, and will certainly reward them generously for their righteous works.

Muntalaq. Langkah baru bermula.. SEKARANG.
No more excuses!

Saturday, June 26, 2010


I am only a pawn in the grand scheme of the Creator, yet somehow I feel soooo loved. This feeling is a gift and I pray that we both will never loose it. All praise be to You O Allah, all praise be to You Lord of the Universe, all praise be to You, The True Lover above all others.

Alhamdulillah. Oh words can't describe how lucky I feel right now! ^_^

May this bond propel us to become better Muslims and sincere fighters (Mujahids) of our Deen.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Surprise! Surprise!

I have been aloft from the blogging world for awhile. Truth is, I don't see the relevant of me writing out my thoughts anymore. Maybe I should just stop?

It's all a whirl wind of thoughts and emotions right now. In real time, life has been throwing a lot of unexpected rocks at me along with sweets and candies too. And so, I have been humbled by what Allah has proclaimed in His Book of Love Letters:

Verily the knowledge of the Hour is with Allah (alone).
It is He Who sends down rain, and He Who knows what is in the wombs.
Nor does any one know what it is that he will earn on the morrow.
Nor does any one know in what land he is to die.
Verily with Allah is full knowledge and He is acquainted (with all things).

Oh God. I feel like crying already. Live in the present, Arifah.. live in the present! Sometimes getting carried away with rainbows and dreams can make you believe you can fly, when the best you can do is to ride a plane. To believe and aspire are great, but reality should never be put aside else you will end up falling splat face down into a pool of shit and mud while you were trying to act out your 'believe' that you can actually fly!

Darn. Ok, this blabbering should stop right about now.

Have a good life people~!

Friday, June 04, 2010

Cause we just move forward

Out of the darkness
I came the farthest
Among the hardest survive
Learn form these streets
It can be bleak
Accept no defeat, surrender, retreat

We're wondering - when we will be free?
So we patiently wait for that fateful day
Its not far away!

Monday, May 31, 2010

Hope Abides

Day and night I shall swim,
In the sweetness river of hope,
May my mind every morning become,
As beautiful as hope's rays of dawn,
Peace begins when expectation ends.

Each sacred hope,
Is a blessed gift,
From Heaven’s heart.

Hope abides; therefore I abide.
Countless frustrations have not cowed me.
I am still alive, vibrant with life.
The black cloud will disappear,
The morning sun will appear once again
In all its supernal glory.

Monday, May 24, 2010


“Everybody is a genius. But, if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
- Albert Einstein

Friday, May 21, 2010

Picking up myself

I can say I deserve success for all my hard work, I can throw tantrums and shout to the sky for the unfairness of it all, I can say that those people are no better than I am probably worse, I can cry myself out until my eyes are like soot (although I think they already are now), I can be depressed until I fulfill all the criteria in DSM-IV (medical students and doctors would know this, lol) to be diagnosed as Major Depressive Disorder, I can curse the powers that be that caused me my anguish and ultimately I would be blaming God for His plans.

But what do I get from it all?

Or I can pick myself up, look for the future, move forward and thank Allah for giving me the chance to redeem myself in His Eyes alone.

It is never easy to pick yourself up from a defeat. But pick yourself up you must. For what way else can you go but forward?

Allah makes abundant the means of subsistence for whom He pleases of His servants, or straitens (them) for him. Surely Allah is Knower of all things.

And those who strive hard for Us, We shall certainly guide them in Our ways.And Allah is surely with the doers of good.


Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Sweet as honey.

Please don't let me loose this feeling, Ya Allah.

Alhamdulilah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah.

Wednesday, May 05, 2010


Bila diri kuserah padaMu
Itu tanda tawakalku
Biarpun tidak sekuat kekasih Mu yg lain
Tapi tetap aku bersyukur
Kerana aku masih kenal tempat bergantungku

Lantas, aku harapkan pembebasan minda dan rasa
Kerna aku tahu, aku sangat memerlukannya
Dalam menjaga niat, memupuk ikhlas
Dalam melayari perjalanan penuh cabaran
Dalam pencarian redhaMu Tuhan.

Saturday, May 01, 2010

The love of Allah.

Sometimes we stress so much on the wickedness of sin that we forget to emphasize on the limitless mercy and forgiveness of a loving God. We become trapped in a bog of self-condemnation while trying to limit the mercy of Allah to our own narrow dimension. In reality, we are not building up repentance but a whole load of neuroses in ourselves and in others we are trying to help.

Sometimes we are so slavishly afraid of Allah that we are afraid to love Him. Fear is basically a lack of hope. Living in fear of Allah (not out of His Bountifulness, but out of despair) only makes us wallow in bitterness and trapped in a cycle of depression and anxiety. But faith, hope and love of Allah give us the courage to face up to ourselves and to life.

The Qur'an and hadiths teach us how to love Allah, our family, our neighbors, our friends and ourselves in the way He wants us to; and the deepening of this capacity to love is a continuing, never-ending process. In order to love others, and to respect them as that love requires, we must recognize their special relationship with God. Things are never quite as they seem to us. We think we know everything about everyone, that we know best. We don't.

Allah calls each individual and puts the desire to be accepted by Him in his or her heart - but before we can recognize this in others, we must find it in ourselves. We have to experience the faithfulness of Allah towards us, no matter how unfaithful to Him we have been! If we wish to see those around us as we should, we should try to see them through the 'eyes of God'. Only then can we truly love them.

That is why it is also necessary to see ourselves through the 'eyes of God'. To bear witness to Allah and to help others to know Him and come to Him, we need to live with Him and stay with Him. This is what we call Taqwa; God-consciousness. This is why we accept the discipline of the five pillars, and try to get closer to Allah's mystery and love by it.

You may have been born a Muslim, but what you've heard and observed is useless unless you belive it and act on it for yourself. No one can do this for you, on your behalf, because each one of us has to make his or her own response to Allah - first hand! We can not be second hand Muslims.

It we feel lonely or isolated, our prayer is the end to our isolation. It means living our daily life with Someone. He is the only One we can find in our own heart, to Whom we can tell anything that is in us. He, of course, is always present, even if we do not realise it. Our prayer hopefully makes us aware of His Presence, which we might not realise if we did not pay attention.

It is the living Presence of Him who knows everything about us, and from Whom we recieve everything. That is why we should be humble - not because we want to concentrate on our weakness or helplessness or poor talents, but a joyful humility because He is so great and yet so close to us. It does not matter if we feel like a nobody or we have nothing - our love for Allah is a love that gives us everything. We know God by being aware of Him in ourselves, surrounding us, guiding our lives. Our prayer is the acceptance of Someone who has a plan for us.

Even if our faith is small and incomplete, we can grasp as much as we can of it, and live by it through all manner of adversity and trials. Allah allows us to guess and glimps His will, and our faith in Him becomes our support. Even if everything seems empty, We can be certain that Allah is there. He cannot fail us, however badly we fail. If we live simply with this certainty, we will be at peace.

- Adapted from 'The Problem of Evil', by Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

I don't know how to write what I really feel.

Your writing gives the world a vibe of the colors of your soul. It is like a distinctive personal signature. A DNA-like trademark of your very own personality. And like your personality, it can almost never be duplicated. Except for rare occasions.

But it is very hard to be original. Because baring yourself to others means exposing yourself to scrutiny and preconceived judgments of who you are by people who don't really care. Prejudice can be a very cruel thing.

I am an optimistic person most of the time, but I realized that my writings usually, albeit full of hope, tend to be on the dark side. Hmm, am I in reality a gloomy person?

- In Reverie -

Thursday, April 01, 2010

Taking off the Hijab



I understand that hijab is required, and I’ve been wearing it for some time now but I feel like putting it on might have been a mistake. I don’t feel like it’s made me become a better Muslim, and I feel almost like I’m deceiving people because they look at me as an example even though I’m still struggling with a lot of things. Also, if I take it off, is it really something Allah will punish me for? It seems like such a petty thing. Isn’t the most important thing having a clean heart?


Assalaamu `alaykum dear questioner,

Thank you for asking this question which opens up a number of important issues, and for entrusting us enough to share with us some of what you’re struggling with. I ask Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala – exalted is He) that He makes the words that I write beneficial to you and others who are reading, and that He leads you to the best decisions.

I’d like to start by addressing what I believe is the least important factor in this equation, and that is ‘what other people might think.’ It should never be the case that we alter our practice of Islam or our worship for the sake of other people, or what they might think or assume. People may be quick to judge or jump to conclusions, but whatever thoughts or opinions they have are strictly their responsibility, and not something we should be overly concerned with.

You said that you’re worried that wearing hijab may be deceiving, because people see you as better than you really are. But in truth all of us are sinners, and it is only from Allah’s mercy upon us that He is as-Siteer - the One who veils our faults and our flaws, and makes us seem better than we really are in others’ eyes. One famous scholar said, “If sins had a smell no one would come near me because of the stench!” Every single one of us has deficiencies and weaknesses, has made mistakes, has taken missteps or is presently taking them. We only do the best that we can, and any good deed that Allah grants us the opportunity to perform should be considered a blessing that we take advantage of. Instead of worrying about not being good enough, we can instead consider this as an opportunity to be thankful to Allah for concealing our negatives, and pray, “O Allah, forgive me for what they do not know about me, and make me even better than what they think.”

You will be hard-pressed to find anyone on this earth who can be considered ‘worthy’ of being a representative of Islam, because everyone has one dimension or another in their faith or practice in which they are lacking. However that doesn’t mean we should stop encouraging each other by whatever means are available to us. There is a very beautiful hadith related to this issue:

Anas relates that, “We asked the Prophet ﷺ, ‘O Messenger of Allah ﷺ, shouldn’t we refrain from calling others to goodness if we don’t practice all good things ourselves, and shouldn’t we refrain from forbidding wrong things until we ourselves have abstained from all the bad?’ ‘No,’ he replied, ‘You should call others to goodness even if you don’t do all good, and you should forbid bad things even if you don’t abstain from all of them yourselves.’” (Al-Tabarani)

Remember that by wearing hijab you are not saying to others ‘I am Islam’, but simply that ‘I am a Muslim’, meaning – I am someone who is trying to follow this religion, who accepts it as truth, sees beauty in it and hopes to beautify myself with it. I remember a quote attributed to Yusuf Islam: “Islam is not a state of being but it is a process of becoming,” – becoming more, become better, striving to reach that state of perfect submission and connection with Allah Most High, and May He help all of us achieve that, ameen.

You also said that you feel hijab has not really made you a better Muslim. A lot of times when a person first starts performing a good deed they feel an iman ‘rush’, a feeling of happiness at doing something good for the sake of Allah and energy to do more, improve themselves, etc. However, after some time, when that action starts to become just another part of a daily routine, it loses that power, and that increase in iman and excitement dissipates.

What a person needs, instead of focusing on those ‘rushes’, is a steady and constant diet of good deeds and spiritual nourishment. We cannot rely on one particular deed to ‘make’ us better Muslims. Instead, we have to take the reigns and make sure we are doing things regularly that increase us in iman, like recitation of the Qur’an, performing salah with consciousness and focus, dhikr, and so on. Wearing hijab can definitely be one of those things, but it is only one part of a whole that needs to be constructed. Just like exercise is important for good health, yet it has to be combined with eating right and many other things in order for the person to see the desired results in the end.

Also know that there is a direct relationship between a person’s actions and their inner state. We know that when someone is in a high state of iman it’s natural for him or her to start performing more good deeds. However, we may overlook the fact that the opposite is true as well – that just performing good deeds, even if one may not be ‘feeling it’, can affect us and change us. The limbs are inroads, and performing good deeds with them can soften a hardened heart, bring enlightenment to a closed mind, and give a person a feeling of rejuvenation and desire to come closer to Allah and do more positive things. I heard a scholar say that if one is feeling troubled, confused or in a low state of iman, “go quickly to action”; because good deeds can bring about that inner reawakening one may need. If we don’t see a change happening in us when we do a good deed, that doesn’t mean we should stop it but that perhaps we need to supplement it with others in order to gather the momentum needed to see results.

Thirdly, you are absolutely correct when you say that the most important thing is for us to have purified hearts. Allah (swt) emphasizes this in the Qur’an when He states that on the Day of Judgment nothing will be of benefit to the servant except “one who brings to Allah a clean, sound heart” (26:89). The question is, how does one achieve that? What purifies us and cleanses our hearts?

In our times we find that some people feel that we’ve reached a more ‘enlightened era’ in which spirituality can be derived solely from philosophy and ideas, and need not be bound by rituals and details of religion. However those who propound this notion forget that Allah did not create us as minds and souls alone – but coupled them with our physical bodies. We cannot deny the fact that we are body and soul, content and form, together, and each has its own needs and specifications for refinement. This is a sunnah of Allah in the way that we were created, and why prayer, fasting, and all our spiritual endeavors have very specific physical components. These forms house within them dimensions of meaning, but it is only from enacting them precisely that a profound spirituality can be achieved.

Purifying our hearts is the goal, but the means to reaching that goal is through the very real and specific physical prescriptions and commandments that Allah (swt) has given us. It is through His obedience and through following the teachings of our deen that we clean and polish our hearts. It is for this reason that I have to say that hijab is not something trivial. Anything that leads us to spiritual awareness, elevation, and purification – that helps us come closer to Allah – cannot be considered trivial or petty. Perhaps it is more likely that there are hidden depths within it that we do not perceive, or that we are not putting it in the proper context of its deeper purpose and meaning.

About punishment from Allah: a better way of looking at this issue is not considering the smallness or pettiness of the sin, but the greatness of the One whom we are sinning against. From His infinite wisdom, all-encompassing knowledge and vast mercy, in accordance to His Law – which is at its core about attaining benefit and warding off harm – He has instructed us to perform this action. In the Qur’an Allah says, ‘It may be that you dislike something and in it is goodness for you’ (2:216); ‘It may be that you dislike a thing but Allah brings about from it a great deal of good.’ (4:19) If someone chooses to step away from a prescribed action knowingly, we cannot deny that this is a sin, and that Allah holds us to account for our sins. However, we always have hope in and pray for Allah’s mercy and kindness, as we know He can forgive all sins if He chooses.

In closing, I want to leave you with a beautiful quote from a Hadith Qudsi. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala said:

“My servant draws not near to Me with anything more beloved by Me than the religious duties I have enjoined upon him.” (Bukhari)

Know, dear questioner, that if you feel far from Allah, the solution is not to stop what you are doing and find a different way, but to persevere and continue on the path you are on, even though it is hard. This will make you beloved to Allah, and one who feels the happiness of being close to Him and being shaded by His Loving Mercy and care.

May Allah enliven and enlighten our hearts and grant us closeness to Him. May He make us people who love to worship Him, and through our worship become close to Him and gain His love. May He make our hearts firm and steadfast on our deen, and grant us strength and bravery in our spiritual struggles. May He guide us to the best decisions and make easy for us the path of khayr [goodness]. Ameen ya Rabb.

WAllahu a`lam – and He alone knows best.

Wasalaamu alaykum.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Of Love and Mercy

“O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind.

O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of me, I would forgive you.

O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as it.”

- Hadith Qudsi 34

"I am as My servant thinks I am. I am with him when he makes mention of Me. If he makes mention of Me to himself, I make mention of him to Myself; and if he makes mention of Me in an assembly, I make mention of him in an assemble better than it. And if he draws near to Me an arm’s length, I draw near to him a fathom’s length. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed."

- Hadith Qudsi 15

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Tick Tock

There is a time for everything.
Now, is the time to heal.

"And He will provide him from sources he never could imagine.
And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him.
Verily, Allah will accomplish his purpose.
Indeed Allah has set a measure for all things."

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Spiritual Growth

It is easy to focus on what's in front of us rather than seeing beyond what the eyes behold. Often more than not we judge people by their appearance, we judge people by their first impressions, we judge people by how they communicate with others, by how the treat us, by how they express their feelings, on the fickleness of a momentary reaction. Yet we forget that the thing which defines a person is the best of what they can be when they truly reveal their true potentials and what really matters is the conviction of faith that lies within the heart.

They call it spirituality.

The believe that there is higher power that controls all beings and all things. A power that governs in such mysterious ways that we can not even get close to comprehending the reasons behind each.

It is impossible to rationalize the events that shows the endurance of a human spirit overcoming great obstacles to emerge stronger than before. Those people who faced all those disasters in Acheh and recently Haiti yet still remain strong and calm, the ones in Palestine, Afghanistan, South Thai who faces constant terror against the brutalness of war each day, every day of their lives without ever giving up hope that one day peace will befall them, the girl who was homeless but still fought to successfully get into Harvard, the lad who failed multiple subjects in PMR but got straight A's in SPM.

Oh you can say he worked his ass off, that's why he excelled. They are used to those conditions that's why they are brave. She's already borned a brainiac, it's not surprising that she got into Harvard.

But you have to honestly ask yourselves, if there is no higher power that gave the human race the gift of courage, perseverance and hope, would they have emerged victorious?

Spirituality. When we get down to it, it is our faith that gets us through the toughest of times. It is our believe that no breakdown occurs in vain that pushes us to find the reasons behind each failure.

Yet in this fast-paced-knowledge-based-empowered-user-intelligent- minds era, we have truly forgotten where our priorities lie. In an era where people constantly brag about financial stability, intellectual advancement and emotional evolvement, we have ignored the one thing that truly defines us as humans. We have on an enormous scale disregard our spiritual growth.

In the chaos of studying for exams, mending broken hearts and making extra cash - have you remembered to check your faith today?

- Soul searching strayer

"When My servants ask thee concerning Me, I am indeed close;
I listen to the prayer of every supplicant when he calleth on Me.
Let them also, with a will, listen to My call,
and believe in Me; so that they may walk in the right way."

Thursday, February 25, 2010


"You made a mistake."

"But I stayed. I worked. I learned. I never made that mistake again.
If I had quit, all I would have had was that life.. that I lost.
Instead, I get to save lives. Everyday, I get to save lives."

Wednesday, February 24, 2010


It's normal to get lost. We get lost all the time. It only becomes a problem when we can not find our way back. And sometimes, we can never find our way back.

So, who gets to decide who gets lost and who survive? What defines a survivor and makes one a failure?

One who is given the strength and motivation to go on, but another who is deprived of the privilege to feel what it means to always be inspired.

Do we get to choose the turmoil we are thrown into?

I am judgmental, stubborn, erratic, self-righteous, most snobbish person I have ever known. If this is a chance for me to correct that, I pray O Allah for some time of atonement.

I do not know when, I just know that I need time. Please...

Monday, February 22, 2010

A note to self

What do you do when you are stuck at a crossroad in life? The point where you will have to make a choice. A choice that will seem trivial now, but will change you in ways only the future will reveal. How do you make the right choice?

Right. Wrong. Where do you draw the line between 2 areas of immensely different entity? It is as if they are merged in the middle to become one and leave you behind in a state of perplexity to only realize that life is never black and white. We all live in the grays.

We are all fighting to get somewhere. We might not know where yet, but we are already embarking on that journey since the first day our lungs began to ventilate. And nobody said the journey would be an easy one. Just remember that everyone's fighting, so be happy that you are still given the chance to fight.

Stop whining already and get to it!

Sunday, February 07, 2010

Once in Awhile

There is so many feelings you can have at a time. There is so many secrets you can keep bottled up inside of you. Until a point where hope is beyond your grasp.

Why is it so easy to feel like you are loosing yourself sometimes?

We often seem to forget, in the midst of chaos that we live in, that when it comes down to it all we ever crave for is understanding and better still, acceptance.

Not to accept that we shall be stuck forever in confusion or in a sea of ignorance, no. But to accept that to be human is to err, to fall, to succumb to ill desires, to just let go.

Beyond everything else, to have faith that our spirit will once again soar to the peak of victory. When we truly believe that circumstances can be changed, for the better.

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Makan Dalam

Bukan masanya untuk berputus asa.
Teruskan langkah.
Moga Allah izinkan kita bertemu di taman indah itu kelak.
Kuatkan semangat ya?

Monday, January 25, 2010


Of reversion generally he stated: “I use the word revert because, I mean, everyone uses convert because that is just a Western ideal. You know (in the Western context) that you have converted to something. But when you look into Islam I guess you realize that the term Muslim just means it comes from Islam, Right? It is a statement of what you are. So Islam means to submit your will to God; to do what God asks you to do; whereas a Muslim is someone who is doing it. So if you are not doing what God has asked you, you are not a Muslim.

So, in effect, Muslim is not a noun, it’s a doing word (a verb). Therefore, my tree in the backyard is doing what God asked it. The tree is Muslim to me, you know! It’s submitting its will to God. Everything has energy. So when you’re born, you’re Muslim, you know! ‘I’m hungry’ - you cry - that’s Islamic you know,” he says laughing. “You are acting in accordance with your nature, and it’s only when you get a little bit older, and people teach you stuff, that you go away from Islam because you take on someone else’s ideals. Then when you want to come back, you revert, because you were already Muslim when you were born.”

-Abu Bakr, an Australian revert-

MUSLIM: It's not a noun, it's a verb. You have to do it. We are considered a Muslim because we do what a Muslim should do; submit ourselves to Allah's will. So let's be frank with ourselves, have we done what we are suppose to do? If we haven't, then consider this... are we really a Muslim after all?

Strive and Allah will help you through!

A short message by Arifah Abd. Rahim.


Trust is a hard thing.

Trust is allowing someone else to do and be for you.
Trust is giving away power and telling secrets and sharing things that you would never want anyone else to know.
Trust is using faith. Faith in another person's decisions, and choices, and knowledge.
Trust is when you know that the other person would do everything in their power for you if you needed them.
Trust is knowing that they will never let you down if they can help it.
Trust is not needing to speak, because the one you can rely on is there.

Trust is hard.

Trust requires being vulnerable.
Trust needs to be returned.
Trust cannot be fleeting.
Trust requires more than a passing glance.

Trust is hard.

Trust leans.
Trust waits.
Trust hopes.

Trust is hard.

Trust is giving a piece of yourself to another knowing it will be safe.
Trust is giving a piece of yourself to another not knowing if things will change.

Trust is hard.

Sometimes, trusting means you will be disappointed and let down.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Problems are problems

You don’t have to love every single part of your job. You have to love the final product. What makes you motivated is not that you are laying bricks all day long, but the idea that you are building a mansion. The process itself can be boring, but if you have a purpose, it will motivate you. Follow up and follow through, till the end. That is where the prizes are.

Quoting my sister:

Everyone has problems,
the difference is how we handle them. Or should I say, tests from Allah?

There, you see.. enlightenment sometime comes from the most unexpected places.
Let's see how I handle them this time around. Pray with me!