Sunday, August 27, 2006

A reflection of thyself

It's a really weird feeling when you're told you have a certain quality that you didn't think you had before.

Take me for instance. I don't think so but quite a handful of my friends have told me that I'm really really independent. Not that I'm boasting because I think its total rubbish. I don't feel I'm independent. I don't know what to do most of the time. I stumble. I fall.

However, them telling me got me thinking, looking over my past actions to come to a conclusion that I may be independent after all. It's just I've never realised it. I could hold my own against most things thrown my way. I think I won't be able to survive life in a boarding school but I'm actually having a blast there. I rarely (because no one can do everything on they own. That's why we have organisations) depend on others to help me with my assignments. I don't need someone to push me to do the things I know I have to do. It's necessary and if I don't do it, who will? So just maybe, maybe I am independent after all.

The whole point of this post (yes I do have a point to make) is to persuade YOU to listen. Listen to what others think of you. Reflect. See if it's really true. And change if necessary but keep if it's a positive thing. You may know your needs best but the one who knows you best is the people around you.



Disclaimer: This entry is written by Afifah (not me!) in her Friendster's blog. Thanks for the reminder kiddo. We 'old' folks really need it for time to time I guess! =P

Saturday, August 19, 2006

It's a sad sad day

Before the story is told to the world by my mum, I want to make the announcement myself.

I am getting married on...













..... the day I get married! Hehhe. Pathetic joke I know. Like how I feel. It would have been very very very funny if it had happened to someone else. Hahha. My handphone has been flushed down the toilet bowl by non other than her own owner, moi. Me getting married? That's a bluff. But this? Never been truer than ever. You want the details, wait until mama grill updates her blog. And then you can nominate it as joke of the century.


-sad case-



ps: I'll try to get back my old number. So, to those who have my number, keep it. I'll inform on any change of events.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

MELANCHOLY

Long for your past,
Prepare for your future,
Know nothing's gonna last,
Life is but a road,
A straight and narrow path,
To our final abode,
But you are never alone,
Allah is always there.

Been busy here and there. Coping with new things to learn and comprehend given such a short while. But can't complain! If Hiyoshi, Sofi, Sol and the other 116 of my classmates, and oh, not forgetting all those who're still studying, head burried in books most of the time (read: silly attempt to be a drama queen) can survive, so can I!!

Turning to a joyous occasion, one of my friends from high school entered wedded bliss at the age of 20 with (brace yourself) a 32 year old Pakistani. Well, they did say love is blind. It's just that it's so overwhelming to see someone you spend 5 years of your teenage-angst-roving years with, the one you faught-laugh-cried with, get whisked away by a knight-stranger in shining armour never to return again. Right. Being a tad bit dramatic there. But anyway, you get the drift. =P

That's about it. Toodles~

PS: Prayers for our brothers and sisters who're Jihadi fi Sabilillah particularly those in Lebanon and Palestine. May Allah guide their souls.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

News Flash

30th-2nd: Was in Johor Bharu. Golden Jubilee of my High School, Sekolah Tun Fatimah. My fever started on the night of 1st July.

3rd-today: Fluctuating fever. Suspected dengue.

My youngest sister has been warded yesterday. Her platlets are below 120 already. Although dengue has not yet been confirmed as the diagnosis. Me on the other hand, well, I'm getting better InsyaAllah. Class starts next Monday.

Sorry, can't write long, badan masih lemah. Lol. Anyway, I'm still confused which one's Mak_twain again? Hahha. And who's Afif? Oh, pening!

My parents has started their own blogs; ABAH & IBU. Check them out.

Ok, I need my rest.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Mak_twain -- pick one! =)

Which one are you and which is your husband?
(this picture is posted by request of the Parental Unit)
Ps: I've saved the picture and uploaded it from my PC,
I hope you can see it!

Saturday, June 24, 2006

A special tribute to a grisly loveable old man

Yes. First, I should start on de-cluttering my brain - again. Although I suppose all I can find are mumbo jumbos of what appears to be bits and pieces of my life. Absentmindedly I have yet again misplaced an important date of the month. Guess which one it is this time?

This entry is dedicated to the man of my life, my hero, the one I look up to, MY DAD.

Imagine having to sleep at night with a wake up call every 20 minutes. With one of your hand tiredlessly henjuting your baby's buaian. Adding to the fact that the baby was always the light sleeper back then. Kedettiiing! Dbusssh! Auw! *whispers* Even the slightest sound would have me embarking on a crazy bordering on lunatic bawl. I bet my dad went through hell having me as his first born! But he pushed on, he fought, he survived.

We used to share a secret sacred bond. I remember when we were in Jitra, Kedah back in 1992, he had this big old bicycle. He used to cycle me around town, going into tiny isolated pathways into kampungs. Feeling the rush of the soft breeze, my face stuck against the back of that smelly old man. Hahha. But it was worth the stank. Each time we went for a ride, my love for him blossomed. And always we would arrive home without me noticing how long the ride was. Belok sini, belok sane, eh eh tiba-tiba dah sampai.

Then there were bedtime story sessions. He used to come into our room (my sister Afifah was quite young, I'm not sure if she still remember this) with a book of any kind, the one I was most fond of was the 365 stories - one day one story book, or he would just come empty handed and create one out of the blue. Each story always with a hidden moral agenda. And there would always be a cliffhanger. Ah, the mischieves of the human mind. A session might have only been less than half an hour. But those times were the times I treasured most.

This is the man that his family, his friends and his students look up to. This is the man that voices out wisdom every time he opens his mouth. This is the man that has always been patient with the "mengadaness" of the eminent women (read: wife and daughters) in his life. This is the man that always thinks of others before himself. This is the man that tries to fulfill your every need and desire. This is the man that goes to the limit to ensure the happiness of those around him.

Abah has always been a constant in my life. Back in the old days, he was not a man with words (tapi sekarang dah pandai cakap I love you! Hehhe). But his actions unceasingly shows his truest convictions to the ones he loved most.

Happy belated Father's Day, Abah. I LOVE YOU.

Ps: Forgive me for forgetting to wish you Happy Father's Day.

Kau mawarku.
Abah in a park in Nantes, France - me as the photographer


New punk hairstyle - yours truly as the barber ;)


Sikit roti Bah - Park in Noirmoutier


Location unknown, France


Me and dad

Peek-a-boo!

Disclaimer:
Pictures are taken by your-very-unexperienced photographer. Malu dengan Ikelah. Hehhe.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Recipe For A Happy Life (an interlude)

Take a couple of whole months, clean them thoroughly of all Bitterness, Rumors, Hate and Jealousy; in other words, make them as fresh and as clean as possible.

Now cut each month into 28, 30 or 31 different parts.

But don't make up the whole batch at once.
Instead prepare it One Day At A Time.

Mix well each day:

One part of Faith,
One of Patience,
One of Courage,
One of Work,

Add one part each of:

Hope,
Faithfulness,
Generosity
Kindness;

Blend with:

One part Prayer,
One part Meditation
Good Deeds.

Season the whole with:

a dash of Good Spirit,
a sprinkle of Fun,
a pinch of Play
a cupful of Good Humor.

Pour all of this into a Vessel Of Love,

Cook thoroughly over Radiant Joy

Garnish with Smiles
serve with Quietness, Unselfishness and Cheerfulness

And you are bound to have a Happy Life.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Intresting..

Here's another "spunky" entry. Very intriguing. Encouraged for those who don't really like Dr M but admire his gut and his ability to make great history making decision for the nation.

Thursday, June 01, 2006
- Not worth the paper it is written on -

Raja Petra Kamarudin

They say in legal circles that a verbal agreement is not worth the paper it is written on. Islam says, if a man breaks his word up to three times, then do not take him as a friend or comrade. Islamic scholar or ulamak Abdullah Ahmad Badawi, also currently Prime Minister of Malaysia, gave his word and he broke it more than three times. Abdullah, therefore, cannot be taken as a friend either in the western or Islamic perspective.

And who did Abdullah give his word to? He gave it to previous Prime Minister Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad -- and of course to all Malaysians in his 2004 Election Manifesto, which he has also broken. And what did he promise Dr Mahathir? Many things, amongst which are that the Scenic or ‘Crooked’ Bridge would not be abandoned, the double tracking railway line would be pursued, and the national car, Proton, would be supported -- just to mention but three.

After Dr Mahathir announced his resignation to a shocked Umno General Assembly in mid-2002, Abdullah and Dr Mahathir spent 15 months in countless conferences to discuss what the former should and would do when he finally takes over as Prime Minister in November 2003. Dr Mahathir went into great detail and explained at length why he did what he did in his 22 years as Malaysia’s Prime Minister. Dr Mahathir had a reason for his many perceived lunatic moves. Even Abdullah, who was his deputy soon after Anwar Ibrahim’s exit in September 1998, could not understand everything that Dr Mahathir did. Now he does.

Abdullah sat there taking pages after pages of notes as Dr Mahathir gave him a 15-month crash course in Mahanomics (synonymous with Reaganomics). By the end of the 15-month training and orientation programme, Abdullah understood fully what was in the head of that strange animal called Mahathir. More importantly, Abdullah now saw the logic in Dr Mahathir’s every move and agreed that, though sometimes somewhat devious, many of these moves were actually quite necessary in the pursuit of the bigger objective.

Many of Dr Mahathir’s moves would certainly appear loony to the uninitiated. They would appear even stranger when viewed in the backdrop of what was perceived as a failed plan. Dr Mahathir was a blunderer and the many disasters he left as a legacy to Abdullah in November 2003 laid testimony to this. But Abdullah knew they were no disasters. He did not know earlier of course. But 15 months of sitting in front of Dr Mahathir and taking notes as the Prime Minister imparted his innermost thoughts left Abdullah with no doubts that this old man knew what he was up to and these moves could only be labelled as brilliant.

Take the Scenic or ‘Crooked’ Bridge as one example. No one would disagree if we were to say that this is the most stupid idea yet to come out of Dr Mahathir’s mind. Why build half a bridge? Why build such a silly looking bridge that would wind its way around because it had to join the Causeway halfway across the Straits of Johor or Tebrau Straits?

If they built a full bridge, then the bridge could be built straight, lower and shorter at maybe almost the same cost as half a bridge. But now they are building half a bridge, so it has to be crooked and higher -- and the cost for half a bridge is not half the cost of a full, straight bridge. But they can’t build a straight or full bridge because Singapore will not allow their half of the Causeway to be demolished and they are not interested in building the other half of the bridge on their side or within their territorial waters.

Singapore could of course agree to join Malaysia in this bridge project and agree to the Causeway being demolished and a full, straight bridge be built to replace the Causeway. But Singapore wanted the bridge to be packaged with a lot of other goodies, all in Singapore’s favour. These goodies would be like throwing in the supply of sand, allowing Singapore Air Force planes more flights over Malaysian air space, plus a re-look at the water agreement.

Dr Mahathir did not agree to this. He would not package the bridge with all these other issues and he wanted each issue to be an issue by itself and to be negotiated separately and on its own merits. Dr Mahathir was no fool. He knew if he rejected Singapore’s demand for a packaged deal, then Singapore would not agree to the bridge. Malaysia could go on with the bridge if it wanted, but it can only build a bridge on Malaysia’s side, not on Singapore’s side. Therefore it would have to be a silly-looking half-bridge that would need to be highly elevated and winding.

That was what Dr Mahathir really wanted. He was not actually interested in the bridge. He was more interested in Malaysia overtaking Singapore in the port business. And the crooked, high, half-bridge would be able to achieve this. A straight, low, full bridge would not. Dr Mahathir very cleverly manoeuvred so that Singapore would disagree with the full bridge and would instead ask Malaysia to proceed with half a bridge. Once they said that, Dr Mahathir got them exactly where he wanted them. The half-bridge is Singapore’s idea, not Dr Mahathir’s, so Singapore cannot now turn around and say that they had been tricked and the bridge was merely a Red Herring and that the real motive was to outdo the Port of Singapore.

Somehow, along the way, Malaysia’s Foreign Minister packaged the supply of sand and more SAF flights over Malaysian air space in the bridge deal. Dr Mahathir never agreed to this. But Abdullah did for reasons known only to himself and his son-in-law, Khairy Jamaluddin. The sand would of course come from Johor and those individuals who will be awarded the contract to supply sand to Singapore are family members of those involved in the decision-making process at the very top echelons of power -- those walking in the corridors of power. The supply of sand is not a government effort but a private arrangement. What is even more perturbing to Dr Mahathir is that Singapore did not demand that the supply of sand be included in the deal. This idea came from Malaysia. It was Malaysia that proposed it, not Singapore that demanded it.

When the Johor Menteri Besar found out about the supply of sand arrangement he was outraged. Dr Mahathir had banned the export of sand back in 1997 and Johor was quite happy with this as the sand was coming from Johor and it is the politicians and their cronies who are making hundreds of millions out of it. For the first time in his life this very polished man who always has a sweet smile for anyone he encounters lost his cool. He never raises his voice, especially to the Prime Minister. But that day he did and he told the Prime Minister that Umno Johor will strongly oppose any Johor sand being sold to Singapore. Even the palace got into the act and there was a danger of another Constitutional Crisis erupting.

In short, there was a mutiny and Johor was in revolt. A crisis never before seen in Malaysian history was about to explode. This was a state-federal conflict in the making. Abdullah had blundered big time. He had agreed that the bridge would include the supply of sand to Singapore. Now Johor, the source of the sand, put its foot down and threatened to resist at whatever cost, and Johor can be as independent as Kelantan if it so wishes. They would also reveal the names of all those who stand to benefit from this supply of sand; family members of those at the very top of the Abdullah administration. If you think the Mahathir-Anwar crisis was exciting, the supply of sand to Singapore would dwarf this by far.

Two days later, Abdullah announced that the bridge project would be aborted, after starting work on it (and incurring a liability of RM100 million). Three weeks before that, Parliament had reiterated the bridge project would go on and the Minister of Works himself assured Parliament that this would be so. But now it was off. They would not be proceeding with the bridge. They could not proceed with it. To proceed with it would mean they have to supply sand to Singapore. And this would create a massive crisis between the federal government and the Johor state government. The only way out of the supply of sand commitment would be to abort the bridge project. No bridge, no sand, and no federal government-Johor state government crisis, plain and simple.

But it is out of the frying pan, into the fire. Without the bridge, there would be no way ships could sail to Johor Port through the Straits and the Port of Singapore would continue to dominate this region. Dr Mahathir’s plan to build up Johor Port and challenge Singapore’s dominance was thwarted. And it was thwarted by no other than his successor who had promised him that the bridge would go on. And it was thwarted because some greedy people in the decision-making team had tried to get rich quick through selling sand to Singapore by packaging the sand supply deal in the bridge proposal.

Dr Mahathir was hopping mad. Abdullah had made a big booboo, and to get out of this booboo he cancelled the bridge project. Abdullah was trying to save his arse. But in doing so he sacrificed Malaysia. Johor Port would now have to remain as pathetic as it has always been. And the Port of Singapore would remain the big wheel of this region. Flushed down the toilet is Dr Mahathir’s plan for overtaking Singapore. And, to make it worse, Abdullah had promised Dr Mahathir the bridge would go on. And he understood fully well why it must. And he realised that the bridge was for the good of Malaysia’s commerce. But saving his arse was his first priority. Saving Johor Port has to come second.

That is the story of the ‘Crooked’ Bridge. There are many other stories such as about the double tracking railway line, the national car, and more. Suffice to say, the double tracking railway line had the same objective as the ‘Crooked’ Bridge; in that Malaysia’s commerce would improve and Singapore’s dominance in the region would be given a serious challenge. But Abdullah aborted this as well.

The double tracking railway line was actually the first move. Once the double tracking was done, then the high speed train was supposed to follow. Imagine the day when one could live in a cheaper town like Ipoh where property prices are half those in the big city, yet work in Kuala Lumpur -- and the time it takes to get to work from Ipoh would be faster than driving from Subang Jaya to Kuala Lumpur today. The small towns would boom and development would be spread out throughout the country instead of concentrated in a few key areas like it is today. But that too now remains just a dream.

The MV Agusta matter is another issue. Dr Mahathir was going to use MV Agusta to develop a peoples’ car (volks wagen) that could be marketed for as low as RM10,000, or less. MV Agusta had the technology to do this and the cost to buy MV Agusta, in spite of it debts, was still lower than embarking on this project doing your own R&D from scratch. R&D costs billions of Ringgit and to develop a car from scratch would not only cost more but would be time consuming as well. Even if you are prepared to pay the higher cost, the time would take too long. MV Agusta was a short cut and at a cheaper price on top of that.

But MV Agusta was sold off for RM4 and Dr Mahathir’s RM10,000 peoples’ car went down the toilet, just like all the others. In fact, the sale of MV Agusta itself raises other questions. How did they decide who to sell it to and do those in the decision-making process have an interest in the company that bought MV Agusta? (Which raises the issue of conflict of interest.) Dr Mahathir knows the real story, as he does about who those sand suppliers are, but he is not revealing all, at least not just yet.

It is not that Abdullah is ignorant about all this. He knows the agenda behind the ‘Crooked’ Bridge, double tracking railway line, MV Agusta, and much more. He knows that all these are mere catalysts for bigger things. And he agreed that these are necessary for the future of the country. Yet he dismantled them one by one just to make it appear like Dr Mahathir is stupid and that all his ideas are stupid. It is all about politics and of trying to undermine Dr Mahathir. And what better way to do this than to dismantle what Dr Mahathir started and give the impression that the previous Prime Minister was a nut case. So the country suffers. So what? That is the small picture. The big picture is: Dr Mahathir is embarrassed.

The Free Trade Agreement (FTA) is another thing that Dr Mahathir was and still is against. All those years he was prime minister he resisted the FTA. Then, late last year, Abdullah secretly signed the FTA with Japan whereby Japanese automobiles would have free access to the Malaysian market while Malaysian vegetables would have free access to the Japanese market. Malaysian vegetables? What vegetables do we have that we can export to Japan? We do not even grow enough for our own consumption and almost everything we eat needs to be supplemented with imports. Anyway, do the Japanese eat our vegetables? Abdullah might as well have signed an FTA with Canada whereby we export ice cubes to the Eskimos.

The FTA Abdullah signed with Japan was so confidential that even the Cabinet did not know about it until Abdullah informed its members later, after it had been signed. The Cabinet members were shocked, but by then it was too late to do anything about it. And how is Proton going to survive once Japanese cars get free access to the Malaysian market when even Europe and the United States can’t compete with them?

Proton is a dead man walking. Its days are numbered and it will be just a matter of time when the national car folds. As the Malays would say: siap kain kapan (prepare the funeral shroud).

Now the United States also wants the FTA with Malaysia signed and the US-Malaysia FTA would open all government contracts and procurement to US companies. That is the end of the New Economic Policy. The days of the Bumiputera businessmen are numbered. Malays will have to revert to becoming clerks and drivers again.

Dr Mahathir is beginning to doubt whether Abdullah knows what he is doing. As far as Dr Mahathir is concerned, whatever he did, he did with the interest of the nation at heart. But Abdullah’s moves, the way Dr Mahathir sees it, are moves of a traitor who does not care about the country’s interest. Dr Mahathir is quite prepared to allow Abdullah to run this country the way he, as Prime Minister, sees fit. But Dr Mahathir will not remain silent and allow this state of affairs to continue if, as he put it, Malaysia’s sovereignty is jeopardised. Dr Mahathir would rather take on Abdullah than allow the man to destroy this country. Not just Dr Mahathir, but many Umno veterans as well believe that power in the hands of Abdullah is like giving a flower to a monkey. Monkeys do not appreciate the beauty of flowers.

Give your thoughts on this people. =)

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

MAJOR come back.. or not?

So here I am, back again.

One might wonder, why did I leave this blogoworld in such haste? And so the question perpetuates the mysteries of the human mind. Or maybe thats the understatement of the year. Thinking back, I wonder myself. Why indeed did I so suddenly quit doing the one thing that gives me the pleasure of sieving through my own daily memories (kinda like dumbledore's pensieve doncha think?) and berating myself of such stupidity upon the actions that I partake. Well, having said that, somethings are better left unsunged.

Now, onto more serious matters. Life has been going on quite smoothly for the past week of holidays. Oh, but the final exam papers as I recall was explicitly done to remind us mortal first-year medical students how humbling and laborious work it is to be a student. However, I have done my part and I sincerely pray to Allah that what I did was more than enough to pass with flying colours I hope.

The break started 5 days ago. And since than, I have done quite a lot. I hope you've managed to set aside some of your precious time for the International Islamic Fair of the year held in PWTC on 9th-11th of June. I did. But only on the 10th. The highlight was the grand international nasyeed concert that night. The "Sound of Islam" from the four continents of the world. Asia represented by our very own Raihan. Cheb Ali from Egypt. Zain Bhikha from South Africa. And Dawud Wharnsby Ali from Canada. Albeit the fact that it was a night for fun and entertainment, it was also a night to remember. A night full of remembrance to the beauties and also sufferings of the world but ultimately to remind us that the answer lies in the One, the Almighty.

The coming day I had the privilege to attend a talk in IIUM by Ms. Yvonne Ridley. A convert to Islam from Christian. She was captured by the Taliban for 10 days in 2001. Her monumental experience has lead her to the Holy Quran. You can search about her on the net since I won't be elaborating anymore on this matter. However, it is wise to say that a less-than-2-hour session with this extraordinary woman has awoken me from my reverie, Alhamdulillah. "You should be very grateful that you were born into this beautiful religion, I had to fall off a donkey, got caught by a frightening Taliban soldier and subjected to a whole load of hardships and turmoil before I can get to taste the sweetness of Islam". Ok, that was not exactly her words, I improvised a bit. But yeah, you got the point right? ;)

And tomorrow I'll be going to Hospital Kuala Lumpur. A day which will unfold itself in another entry I suppose. By the way, folks I'm deeply sorry for the long silence but I promise you this, a new me and a whole lot of exciting entries to come. Cheers!

-Roger & Out-