Lilypie First Birthday tickers

Thursday, October 16, 2008

A birthday present for you!

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to tell someone you love them because, well, just because. I often notice that people tend to disregard those that they love the most. It's not because you don't appreciate them, it's just that sometimes it's the easiest thing to do.

This girl is the most unique person I've ever met.

She used to be an epileptic infant. I remembered having to go countless of times to the pediatric institute in Hospital Kuala Lumpur (coincidently where I'm currently doing my pediatric posting!). How there was always this worried look in my parents face, how their voices were always hushed when talking about their helpless little baby. I remembered moments where the aura of panic my parents conveyed when she was having her fitting episodes troubled me. Although I didn't really understood what was happening, I knew something was not right. Thank you Allah, for allowing her to survive that.

She was only one and a half years old when we received another one in the family. An age where she was still trying to find her footing in the family and in this world, an age where she still needed all the attention and love she can get from those who provided for her. But she had to forgo all that, because what was supposed to be her limelight was stolen by her own little brother. She could have complained (although she might not know how yet at that time), she could have thrown tantrums, she could have cried and cried. But people always said she was an angel even at a young age. Even when she was shipped to our grandparents', she never upsets anyone there. My late grandfather loved her very much. Thank you Allah, for giving her the chance to be loved by those around her.

Even when she was very little, she radiated a uniqueness that was her very own. I remembered her having conversations with a 'special' friend, someone conjured up by her creative imagination. Perhaps it was due to the lack of attention that she received but that friend made her life happy and joyful, and that was enough for her. She also loved to draw (I wonder what happened to this talent of hers?) loved to read colorful books.

Oh oh, there was this one time (when she was 3 or 4 years old) where she wore my mothers' heels and took a water bottle that my mum used to bring to school (mum was a teacher back then) , and while everyone was busy buzzing away with daily chores, she stepped out of the house and walked into the streets with a determination that could steel the heart of even a champion. When we noticed her missing, the whole house went berserk. We ran out of the house and there at the middle of the road about a mile away we saw a tiny little creature standing with a huge car that stopped smack right in front of her. She looked like she was about to cry. My mum hugged her and everything was alright again. But for that, she should have been given a medal for her outrageous bravery.

Throughout her teenage years, some people may misunderstood her calm for being quiet, her patience not to fight for being a coward, her ability to contain her anger for being timid. How very wrong they were.

Throughout her transition into college life, some people might have pushed her to do things she did not like but never once did she faltered, some people might not understand the choices she made but she ignored them, some people even tried to impose their opinion on her but she gracefully told them that this life is her life and her life is her turf. She was going to decide for her own how she wanted her future to be. And for that, I pray that Allah will give her contentment for the life she chose to lead.

There is so many beautiful tales to tell that I do not know which to choose from. Because now that little girl have grown into a responsible, lively, courageous, wise, thoughtful and exclusive you woman, unparalleled by no one her age. For this girl is my girl, my trusted adviser, my secret keeper, my precious sister. We are bonded by a bond of unconditional love.

Thus because of that and above all else, I put my thanks and gratitude to the Creator of Love, the Creator of Siblings, the Creator of all things beautiful, Allah the Almighty.

May He guide you, little sister, to a path that will bring you the ultimate happiness and contentment. May He shines His blessings on you. And may He allow us with all His Mercy after our time in this world ends, to meet again in paradise, insyaAllah.


Because of Him, I give you my love.

Happy Birthday, Kak If!


5 comments:

TheWriter said...

Thank you Kakak for the very beautiful beautiful 'present'! I'm really touched. Sincerely, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Most embarrassingly, I have to admit that I was crying the whole way through.

- e n i g m a - said...

wah!! aku pn terharu bc!!! nangis jugak!!

Abdul Rahim said...

Beautifully written. I must say spiced up a bit but it makes it more realistic. As a parent, I feel very touched by your ability to "read" our feelings or to correctly judged how we felt. I was undecided where should I write this little comment, because it is about Kak If, rightfully it should be in her blog. But I finally thought since this is a comment of what you wrote, I shall write it here.

Kak if seems to be a quiet girl, on the outside but on the inside she is not. Always full of inspiration and ideas and she is always thinking. Reading her blog, you can understand what I mean. Well organized, self sufficient and self confident. These were much more observable ever since she left Bangi for MRSM KLipis. I remember when she made that decision to go away from SMKJ4 to MRSM. I remember how confidently she decided it. Frankly I felt that it was already fine for her to remain in Bangi and I want to make her "change" her mind by taking her there to show how far KLipis is and how remote the town is. But that did not change her mind, in fact increased her eagerness.

It was then when she was in MRSMKLipis that I saw my little girl changed to an eager teenager, to a more independent, bright and thinking person. I knew she made the right decision. From her stories in the early days there, I had no slightest doubt that she would excel herself there. And there she was, top in her class, being the deputy head prefect (I think), active in many curricular activities, debates, sports etc. I am lost for words as to describe how proud I was then and am now.

Looking back 17 and a half years ago, I picture the scenario one day, of cuddling a little girl, not even 6 months yet from the car to my in-law, in panic because she was behaving in a manner I have never seen. A few weeks later, reality came, we were told this girl suffer from PGE (Primary Generalize Epilepsy). She had to take Epilim, twice a day for the next 3 years when the doctor will re evaluate her situation wether to continue or take off the medication. (Her little sister Atiqah also experienced a similar condition, but then we already knew what it was. It is a family inheritence which came from my family, even though, I did not experience it). Alhamdulillah, it turns out the PGE actually showed her super active brain and how brilliant she is because of that :).

Looking forward, I must say, this girl is a big potential to us and to the nation. And I am proud of her, as I am as proud of you, Afiq and Atiqah. I am a proud father of 4 brilliant children. All I want now is to participate in your lives as a proud parent, while you unleash all your potentials.

Arifah said...

Thank you, Abah! ;)

Madame A said...

I have not visited our family's blog for sometime. I kind of miss the beautiful present kakak wrote for you. But I guess it is not too late to say something here... May your determination bring you through in your future career and life ahead!