LOSS

Life
A myriad of colours
Drench on a tarp of pallid rag

A jubilant mortal
Too content with the present
Too gay about the past
But the future holds an unforeseen truth

The curtain of darkness
Drapes around an unexpected soul
And we are left to wonder
Will it be us tomorrow?



O Allah, give her strength and serenity to face this tribulation.

I've been tagged!

I actually wanted to write something on my visit to the paediatric institute this morning but I couldn't find the words to describe my emotion. So, I have resorted to rise up to the challenge of this tagging business. Mama Sarah notty ye, report dekat Mynn. Ngehehe. Anyway, I'm not gonna tag anyone after this. Kesian orang yang kena tag. Hehhe. Here's to all the weirdness the world over! =D

6 Weird Things About Arifah

1. I have a very very very sweet tooth. I love chocolates. Although you can not have too much of them else you'll turn into a walking hippo (you get the picture). Now I'm asking myself why am I talking about chocolates pulak tibe-tibe ni. Semua orang makan chocolate, so where's the peculiarity in it? Well, how about eating raw milo + susu pekat manis, gaul dengan sebati, then you eat the ingredients the way anyone eat rice with chicken curry, and making it a habit? Hehhe. Ok, ok it's not exactly a habit but I do it everytime I feel like eating chocolates and there're not any around to satisfy my bonbon lust.

2. I have a small cute dark blue kancil. My dad bought it for me. Lucky me for being the first-born. But he did warned me to buy him a huge BMW when I get my first paycheck one day. Anyway, that's beside the point. The main crux here is that I have a weird habit of turning on the headlights everytime (well almost) I enter the car. I don't know why. I can assure you however that what I'm telling you is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth because I have recieved so many chides and stares when I when I'm on the road or when I stop at the petrol station for a re-fill due to this penchant of mine.

3. Talking about my car, I have another weird (or perhaps dangerous) habit of driving more than 100 kmph when I'm happy. People drive fast either because they're furious or just because they're plain crazy. I drive fast because I'm happy. Although most of the time I drive fast for no apparent reasons. Since I'm confessing this here, I really do hope no traffic police officer will ever come across my blog. Oh, and dear readers, don't you dare report me!

4. This one is about one of my favourite food. I don't really like veggies. I can almost say I hate them but I have this unexplained craving for brocollies. I can gobble down a huge bowl of these pretty little greeneries without batting my eyes. Of course this IS an exaggeration. But roughly I can say that if I don't get chocolates, brocollies are enough for me. So send me a bunch for (I was going to type Christmas, hehhe) my birthday.

5. I am an easy sleeper. What I mean to say is that I don't take long to fall asleep after my head has safely landed on the pillow. But before I get into the first stage of sleep, I will create my own imaginary 'world' in my head where in it I am a princess or a superhero trying to save the universe. A specific 'world' can last for more than a week's sleep. Sometimes it becomes so exciting that I can't wait to go to bed just so that I can continue what I imagined the night before. SUPER weird.

6. Weird thing is I can't think of the last weird thing about me. Hehhe.


End of story. Laugh if you want. I'm just being honest.

Keep moving..

"Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength"

At this very moment, I have two close friends who're going through a rough time. Both of their fathers had just undergone brain tumour surgery.

Nothing I say (or write) will take any of your pain or worries away. But just remember that my prayers are with you and your families. I'll be around if you need me, as a friend, as someone to talk to, as a shoulder to lean on. I love you both.

May Allah grant them and their loved ones health and serenity.

Savage Garden: Two beds and a coffee machine

And she takes another step
Slowly she opens the door
Check that he is sleeping
Pick up all the broken glass
And furniture on the floor

Been up half the night screaming
Now it's time to get away
Pack up the kids in the car
Another bruise to try and hide
Another alibi to write

Another ditch in the road
You keep moving
Another stop sign
You keep moving on

And the years go by so fast
Wonder how I ever made it through
And there are children to think of
Baby's asleep in the back seat

Wonder how they'll ever make it
Through this living nightmare
But the mind is an amazing thing
Full of candy dreams and new toys

And another cheap hotel
Two beds and a coffee machine
But there are groceries to buy
And she knows she'll have to go home

Another ditch in the road
You keep moving
Another stop sign
You keep moving on
And the years go by so fast

Wonder how I ever made it through
Another bruise to try and hide
Another alibi to write
Another lonely highway in the black of night

There's hope in the darkness
I know you're gonna make it
Another ditch in the road
Keep moving

Another stop sign
You keep moving on
And the years go by so fast
Silent fortress built to last
Wonder how I ever made it

To each his own

What is it about people wanting to be recognized as a distinctive representative of their very own personality. In the name of creating a claimed identity?

Given a situation where a person is battered because he speaks his mind and in the process builds up public resentment, thus he retorts back saying he was just being himself, is anything wrong with that? Is he at fault just because he was being bluntly honest or is he in error because he yanked bitterness from those around him?

Occayy. I'm twisted by my own reasoning here. Leave the matter be. Chow~

Ps: Right. Something's wrong with my limbic system. Two posts in a day? I'm having to many personal conflicts at one time. Someone give me one huge packet of Maltesers please! I need chocolatesssssssss right now.

Emotion

A whimsical attack on the human race. People are unreliable. Everybody lies. Somehow, Dr Gregory House's dogma has become my believe.

I realize I'm becoming somewhat easily annoyed by the people around me. I do have a short temper, I admit to that but then I cool down again quickly. Lately however, my capibility to stupefy my own infuriation has diminished. Sekali marah, menjadi-jadi kemarahan.

O Allah, give me composure, give me patience, give me the endurence to control my self, to always put other peoples' feelings before my own. Give me stregth.

Finding Me

Hensel said to Gratel
Let us drop these bread crumbs
So that together we can find our way home
Because losing our way would be the most cruelest thing

Last year I lost my way
And losing your way on a journey is unfortunate
But losing your reason for the journey is a fate more cruel
The journey was my life time

Sometimes I travel alone
Sometimes there are others who took the wheel
And took my heart
But when the destination is reached
It wasn't me who arrived
Twasn't me at all

And once you lose yourself you have two choices
Find the person you used to be
Or loose that person completely
Because sometimes you have to step outside the person you've been
And remember the person you are meant to be

The person you are...

A stab right at the heart

"Kakak, balik rumah tak esok?"

"Balik kut,knape?rindu kat kakak ke?hehhe"

"A ah.Hehhe."

A text conversation between me and my youngest sister yesterday brought a cheery glow into the depth of my existence for that split of a second. Hehhe. Bak kate someone close to me, rasa cucuk-cucuk dekat hati. =)

Some people will probably shrug it off as an insignificant break from the norm, well it actually is. My family is not the kind yang akan say to each other words of kasih sayang. Although lately, I've been trying to instill that value sikit-sikit. Ngehngeh. Looks like my usaha dah mula membuahkan hasilnya.


Reminds me of a line from Westlife's Flying Without Wings...


Everybody's looking for that something
One thing that makes it all complete
You'll find it in the strangest places
Places you never knew it could be
Some find it in the face of their children
Some find it in their lover's eyes
Who can deny the joy it brings
When you've found that special thing
You're flying without wings

Some find it sharing every morning
Some in their solitary nights
You'll find it in the words of others
a simple line can make you laugh or cry
You'll find it in the deepest friendship
The kind you cherish all your life
and when you know how much that means
You've found that special thing
You're flying without wings

So impossible
as they may seem
You've got to fight
for every dream
'cause who's to know
which one you let go
would've made you complete

Well, for me it's waking up beside you
To watch the sunrise on your face
To know that I can say I love you
At any given time or place
It's the little things that only I know

Those are the things that make your mind
And it's like flying without wings
'Cause you're my special thing
I'm flying without wings

And you're the place my life begins
and you'll be where it ends
I'm flying without wings
And that's the joy you bring
I'm flying without wings

It's been awhile

"Like the elephant, we are unconscious of our own strength. When it comes to understanding the power we have to make a difference in our own lives, we might as well be asleep. If you want to make your dreams come true, wake up. Wake up to your own strength. Wake up to the role you play in your own destiny. Wake up to the power you have to choose what you think, do, and say."

My passion for writing has dwindled into a mere lump of unidentified matter for the past few months. Don't ask me how or why? I've been trying to figure it out myself.

Suddenly, karma took an unexpected turn on me and fortune smiled upon me. Hehhe. To make it short, Alhamdulillah, my 'house' at my college now has total access to the cyberworld. Kami berlapan berkongsi ringgit malaysia untuk beli router for our house.

So, expect me to write frequently from today, InsyaAllah. Saya cuba. And I'll be writing more in Malay sekarang. Azam tahun baru, use more Malay words in blog. =)

My sincerest apology especially to my fellow bloggers yang sudah lama mengenali saya di alam blogging ini. I feel like I've been ignoring you guys. Sorry again. Hehhehehhe (guilty laugh). I'll try to update as often as I can from this moment on.

Need to go and pray. Peace.